I had this tough arguement with one of my best friends in girls -and it brought out sumthin from me --i said to her "if my mom was alive i would have never needed to explain myself to my close ppl as i am doing now"--tht was a instant statement but it hit me hard-- it was plain truth i felt at the moment --Where does mom come inbetween a explantion with my close friend ? --and that too nearly nine years since she left me ???
It was tht sort of mom i had --she lived for 42 years--42 beautiful years of which i could see only 20 of them ---the amount of fights ,,the amount of arguements ,,the amount of break ups i have and had in my life makes me wonder how come my mom --who was always in limelight never had anyone cursin her or shoutin her or fightin with her for 20 yrs ?i cant remember in these nine years one person coming up to me and say oh ur mom was bad--or any negative remark at all abt her ,,can it be true ?
It is true --u try your might --"for me moms are the angels god sent to earth to make us realise how beautiful life is" for all those people who are reading this i request you one thing-- Respect your mom when shes with you because the true meaning of love is best represented from the word "mom",remember they see you change from one way to another till their last --we keep on changing--but they have unbridled love for their kids -i do believe they alone show "unconditional love" in this world ,every other relationship will have some form of barrier -they never change --they teach you life in the way you understand --we keep on changing --in our lives moms "Change from being the person we love most -- to the person whom we need to love-- to the person who could be loved when needed-- to finally the person we should have loved more" !!!
I was a shy young boy who saw the world through my moms eyes --i hated to see through mines because i always felt comfortable seeing through hers ,,during her last days when things were very bad --when i was all of 20 knowing nothing what life is going to throw at me ,,i was with her in her last few months --She always foresaw things in life,,she knew her end was nearing and she wanted to teach me abt life in a way i can understand--she asked me what was purpose of life?what im goin to do after college ?what i will do in a world where i had noone?will i take care of dad? she asked me lot of questions ---she knew this son was not capable of answerin them then,,but sumday i will realise tht these questions needed to be answered if im a son she visualised to be!!the life after her was treacherous and i slowly got the writing on the wall,,tht i needed to answer my questions ---now i stand at a juncture in my life where i might be able to answer in affirmative to all the questions my mom asked tht day--i understood though its a tough long process --it was her questions tht day made me think about my life--the meaning of my life.
Im not a sucess story by any means now --nor im the son she visualised because i never gave her a opportunity to say what she wants from this lame son who felt happiness just by being sumone in this world rather than being sumone whom my mom wanted,,,Whatever i do now i can only imagine she might have thought this or tht but never certain because i innocently ignored her when she was with me --now im just talkin to her in my dreams and prayers,She never let me know she was crying tht her son let her down,,she never spoke harsh word abt me bein a careless son,,she never explained the pain she had everytime her son failed --and kept failin till her last --My mom believed tht sumday i will answer all her questions --the thing she did not know was it will be long after she had gone !!
While im writing this i just lived my moments with my mom for few seconds in my mind --it was beautiful because moms are just wonderful ---whilst they live with you cherish them --cherish the moments with them ---and for once in a while sit with them and talk with them --give them a opportunity to let yourselves know what they want --never mind u not doing tht ---give them atleast the satisfaction tht u realise they show u love like none,,even when the world grows increasingly mechanic -there is one word tht never becomes mechanic --it always remains the most wonderful relationship god sent u to realise Life is beautiful-The word "MOM"
She was ,is and and will remain the most beautiful person i had in my life ,,her smile ,,her wunderful heart ,her amazing helping nature ,,her care towards strangers ,,her affection to her family ,,her never ending belief on her son --it made me what im today --her fighting qualities ,,with all this great happy things i do remember tht i had this wunderful human being in my life but never realised it till she left ,my purpose of writing this blog is for all my buddies and unknown frds who read this realise u also will be having a wunderful mom like i had --u need to know certain things i knew after my mom left--moms change in the way they look but all moms have same nature and pinch of god in them --thts for sure !!
(As for the arguement i had with the friend it ended with me swearin on my mom sayin i will never leave her --again i realised unknowingly the ppl i love i will never let go because maybe sumwhere above mom is throwin questions believing i might answer sumday--I will try mom--Miss U--love u forever )