Monday, April 11, 2011

The Need for the"Golden List" and negative side of being "Too attached"!!

                                                   I have been the best friend of the groom or bride in nearly 15 marriages till date--while for certain time it appeared like i was on top of the world --the potholes and pressures of being sumone important is far heavier than it first appears ,,the truth or the real fact is we never know what is self sufficient generally --we try to recreate the happier moments --that leads to our free will goin to extend of doin anything to achieve that ,,now by doin that the danger is you are allowing yourself to get too attached with a particular person beyond the borders of comfortability between the two
                                                  I say this from personal experience --i have had countless friends few yrs back,,and i can even now say that i enjoyed every moment being the guy they and their families loved to have at all possible times ,,as time went responsibilty ,commitment ,,business pressures ,and life introduced to various unpredicabilities the role of being sumbodys goto man became huge pressure ,,so much so desperation set in to get myself out of certain quarters ,,thts when i realised being attached has its own burdens
                                                Born in a very small family -and not having enuf exposures with life as such in the intial part made me goto innumerous people and families ,,but then if life is that easy then everyone will be a winner but eventually it is not and life ends up winner ,,,i realised that slowly getting out one by one by fate ,sum by own admission of negligence ,,the aftermaths of all those were terribly painful ,,The biggest problems in being attached is possesiveness ,,i made a personal blunder by doing a couple of register marriages to my friends which eventually turned sucessful but not enuf attention to them due to personal needs led to eventual break up in frdship
                                             My best buddies were the ones i never saw or the ones i rarely saw -i put them in my diary as "The Golden List"-it gave me a clear picture of where im heading--u try ur might --the farther u are in seein ppl the brighter are ur chances for a happier relationship,,,be it my best frd in girls or guys i dont see them at all ,,the best girl i wished to be more than a friend never lived near me ,,and some the best mates i have now dont know how i look in real --but the peace of having these people as the goto people is sumthing a answer to the question--do we need to see ppl to feel attached ?---my answer is a big NO--My best soulmates live in Delhi,Haryana ,Jaipur,London,   and one soon in Sri lanka --I live in Chennai ---To me tht answers whether i did the right thing by choosing them as my final destination guys or to have chosen the ones i meet regularly in Chennai,The need for the list is it determines in part where u r heading -they are very important for every individual --the number might differ but truth remains same--U NEED THEM
                                                Recently i had a break up with my friend for 4 long years -not my close friend --but a decent friend --her quarrel was i did not find time as before and was not understanding her feelings  --my answer was silence --sumtimes u have to let go ur expectations ,let go ur love,,let go ur feelings in frdship ,,,it is then u will love and trust sumone wholly and truly -being attached without knowing the other person in whole  leaves ur future in the relationship in tatters --i mean attached bit too much than comfort zones preferred --"in most cses the person will hate him for being the one in needy and hate u as the reason for that" and then starts the pain which has no cure
                                          I have had enemies --lot of them --due to jealousy ,job oriented ,by various factors,,but in a whole picture they r not dangerous because ur future is not dependant on them ,they dont cause pain,,heartache or lifelong pain tht can never be overcome --because the ones who are overly attached with u without knowing u are the ones u should fear off   from my personal experience its always better to have a border drawn in attachment of ppl ,,,a border that u must allow only selct people to cross and not everyone --be prepared to deny them by being kindly polite but be sure u deny them ,
                                        Its no big deal in sayin you have countless people to show who u are -- To me even if the COUNT IS LESS --u should have people to show who they are when u need them ,,,it took me 10 yrs to know tht --i wanna know sumone reading this out there ,,,u dont need  10 yrs if u carefully listen and select ur golden list of ppl who will be with u till ur final destinations --"they are the signboards to the ur future!!!"

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