Saturday, May 21, 2011

Those "Special"People Are One Among Us !!!!

                                                          As usual on one of my regular visits to theatre i had booked ticket for a movie virtually to kill time ,,i was just gettin into theatre to find my seats ,,i saw a scene which initally made my eyes shrink in seeing sumthing different in a multiplex theatre ,,i saw a handicap person who was unable to walk and had his hands also sort of immobile ,,he was brought in a wheel chair and was accompanied by two persons in their mid 30s and the person himself was around 30 year mark.
                                                          I was thinking on the moment i saw them ,,,"God why to embarass such people by bringing to such crowded places"" Are they out of senses - why cant they get him a dvd and ask him to watch movie in house--now how people will laugh at them,,look at them ",,all this crossed my mind ,but the glitz and glamour wolrd of enjoyin hifi timeout takes your mind of reasonin and anythin reasonably close to that,,all u wander around is to notice people who want to get noticed or be the ones who dress to be noticed by others ,rarely do we think abt sumthing properly in such places.
                                                        Coming back every 15 minutes my attention turned towards the person,he was right in the midst of mid walkin staircase in theatre ,he watched movie from there only ,and in interval i accidentally got logged behind them in tight crowd in small exit door ,,i could see the two people who brought him were absolutely making sure the person  was comfortable being with them and never showed any discomfort about being in a crowd   where strangers like me were  watchin them lift the respected handicapped person from the wheel chair  in their hands to goto canteen and get what he wanted ,,they cracked jokes ,,smiled happily ,,,,the person was in perfect senses ,,only thing he was immobile ,,it all made me realise what a fool i was with my thought in first place,
                                                        I could not watch the movie which was average one,and the fact was  i was not in great mood to watch ,i desperately called one of my closest friends to get some fresh air to my mind ,,added to the fact it was not great day ,,i felt bit ashamed for takin such a shoddy remark  on those people in the theatre,i just envisoned for a minute to be tht person---if i was him would i expect to sit in house and expect people to pity me and let me be like tht till the day i die ?Certainly not ,,,,i would like to be treated as a normal person is rather than be pitied for no fault of mine ,,,thts what i felt ,,and tht crap movie i was watchin went out of my mind,,the people who smiled with that handicapped person ,,the people who first of all decided they will take him to the theatre ,not thinkin they are superior to the handicapped person just because they had everythin he did not have physically (which is what i felt for sumtime before realisin how stupid it was ) and  more than that help him  in any way they could  to live a normal life like them,,they SEEMED LIKE REAL HEROES TO ME 
                                                      We see every handicap person ,,or someone affected by sumthin in crowded places or in any place first thing we do is we pity them ,,i seriously dont know why we cant treat them as we treat others ,,me including ,,we cant give a smile to them ,,we give a horrendous facial expression as i did in theatre ,,we treat them as aliens ,,we gaze them as human beings who have a seperate world and act as if they dont belong here 
                                                     I decided the next time i see sumone like tht anywhere im not gona give a shockin expression,,the best i can do is be normal ,,,they dont need our pitiful expression,,they need our solid acceptance that they live in a world where everyone lives and that they will have a life they wish with all our wishful support ,,i do feel strictly from my heart that these are small changes that we never even give a thought in our hectic day to day life-"these are not changes tht we can do ,,these are changes that we must do "--respecting others as they are as they are and appreciating the people who proudly do day in day out the job of makin such "special"persons life sumthin worth for what they entered this world ,,lets accept the fact that its no easy work out there to be so and help those special persons , ,,,those "special" persons  are one among us ,,lets make them feel that whenever a time arises ,i promise to not being so stupid again,,,i know people who r reading this are smarter than me ,:)

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

"I have my dreams ,my goals--it all starts here with you"

                                    " I have my dreams ,my goals ,,it all starts here with you"

                                                        Last year has been sumwhat a time of gruelsome truths being told in a manner that is too volcanic for a normal guy like me ,,normal in the sense im reactive to situations and affected by shocking truths ---two of my friends --whom i knew for nearly 20 years went for choosin the life partner chosen by family ,,married in grand way and sort of felt they had settled for good ,,within six months one of them had his life torn apart as it became a wrong matching of two souls unfortunately--he was in very high reputed position--was on the doorsteps of becomin one of pillars of is company,,this marriage ruined him to a level where he lost his job and refused to see anyone much ,,its been months since i have known his wherebouts
                                                            The other one ,,a more subtle guy with nothin but soft nature as his identity ,,ended up in cross roads --he again got derailed in his ambitions and when i last met him said to me "i dont know where i go from here"---Seriously that was as apt an statement he could have given to explain where he has been left stranded by his fate that or  by his reluctance to search for sumone or try to look around  before takng the big step?i asked myself this unknowingly when sumthing happened today mornin in a fun cht with a close friend.
                                                           One of my frds played  me around with this sayin in cht  to "see sumone seriously"--"be selfish and  mean now "or u will be a idiot for lifetime -not the first time he has done so but when he did today it felt different  --though im sumone who believed love or arranged marriages-- its  all a matter of how good u adjust after marriage  is what matters,,things certainly look a lot different of that view now ,,i have never loved anyone or thought even ,,that was long before all these happened ,i have had people come and go in my life knocking my doors in that section occasionally in my mind,,,but should i reconsider now ?probably its late?lot of questions ran over in my mind --well the fact is  i decided to be open minded and take life step by step and not have a pre determined notion on anythin--its better late than never (who knows sumone might be rolling in my mind -lolz)
                                                        " Where do i go from here " --tht frd asked me --i know the answer now i feel --its not abt where u go --its abt with whom u go ---that matters ,,,i could get what my friend meant by sayin be selfish and mean ---he meant what i might be seen if i go out of the way from my surroundings to find sumone ,it might sound bad but down the line on the base of a sucessful life all those notions might get washed away and the probability  of us realising our dreams from childhood will be boosted ,motivated ,,and most importantly understood by sumone we choose ,,sum defy their fate to get what they wish ,,others just become the reason why the very few defy the fate,,
                                                         There was a time when i used to think "why the hell u want to ruin ur family ,frds and surroundings for one girl"---now i realise with tht one girl ---we can build a whole empire ,,bring back back that whole family ,frds surroundings with her ,,without her the goals ,,the dreams ,,ur identity ,,almost everythin what u want to be will be just a unfulfilled dream ,a journey cut off in midway ,how long you are goin to travel in your life depends on whom u choose ,
                                                   There was a time i was completely alien to this concept ,,whilst i have seen some unfortunate examples i have seen more than couple of great exmples where my frds defied every other obstacle ,and were selfish and mean to get that sumone,,,they got married among huge displeasure from family to all quarters but in their heart they knew it was the right person,,gettin her in any way was the right way ,,to them tht particular person was worth beyond anythin in the world ,,today i could see them  how they r proved right by choosing them ,,
                                                      Sumtimes during forlorn times when u look at urself u mite feel damn so low when u have none --its all the more a lonely journey with no belief  from then on ,,but imagine that with sumone beside u who knows the pain of it ,,,who is ready to accompany u  to any journey with you ,,any predicament with you --the belief to reach beyond our destinations beyond our allocated distance by god will be motivated by them beyond words,, Dont  wait, analyse ,be reluctant or try to be a saint for the world to appreciate - finally u will be a loser to the core
                                                      If u r seen as selfish,mean ,bad,,doesnt matter ,,IF YOU LOVE SUMONE OR AT BEST LIKE SUMONE MORE THAN OTHERS -JUST GO FOR IT !!!

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Create a world your heart picturises!!

                                       "Our heart wants to us to make our own choices
                                        Life pushes us to make compromises on choices"    
           I was asked by a friend who knew my situations and my heart well "U cant do what u like ?cant u choose the girl whom u like ?Cant u say ur true thoughts to sumone whom u like--Why buddy  ?Well i stared at him not answerin anythin-for only i know the reasons for being so --i was given  a family that even god felt jealous --i had my tough situations --- The fact is i know i did not  listen to my heart --i can never probably create a world my heart wants because i stopped listening to it wantedly many yrs back
                                                       At this wee hours of the night ,,i just got a thought regarding these  things--Have i been a good son --good bro --good frd?--the answer to all these may vary and can be answered by sumone else or few other people concerned --but there is a one question tht only i can answer --have i been a listener to my heart?No,,, i can say situations never allowed me to think about listening --but surely i would have had opportunities to sit and listen to my heart --as would everyone of us at some point of life 
                                                       We write off our hearts voice as dreams that can never be fulfilled--From a personal point of view im saying this --i stopped listening to my heart from the moment i saw sumone from the family shed a tear for sumthin important many yrs back --i have never listened to what my heart yearns ever since that for my attention ---it has never happened --for more than a decade --the price for being so is also sumthing very high -- "Your  heart will cry through your eyes" !!
                                                                            Adjustments can be made in every department to shield ourselves from listening --like if u choose a proffesion by compulsion of family and surrounding --u say to urself --oh ya its good money and better future than what i want --there starts the shutting of door to our hearts ,,from then on we become experienced enuf to make our hearts listen to our minds --im not sayin its entirely wrong --its alrite to goon -but there will be a time in our lives when we get the feelin like Why i did not do that then? well i know only very few of us have the guts to go against the family ,surrounding , to create a world with the  wishes that their  heart picturises
                                                                          From work to love or  life as whole --nothing seems to be of our choices-it all seems just out of compromises -with work its fine --as far im concerned --a work tht gives u decent living and satisfied enviroment is nothin to be worried off--but it does matter when it comes tour life partner --ur better half --and probably the most important person in your life--dont think many of us understand the magnamity of listening to what ur heart wants  and rather it always ends up whats the world around us wants ,we marry the person they feel suitable --its nevr the case of whom we feel as suitable and we compromise it for anybody they choose can be acceptable ,,from proffesion to life its never ending
                                                                         You can be a great son ,,can be a great brother ,can be a frd noone else could have imagined ,,but take five minutes from your busy schedule for the day and answer whether you have created the world your heart picturises every day,Have you been yourself what ur heart wanted to be?,,the answer including my case mostly is a big "No" --i just fit into sumone else picturisation of my life and make the best efforts to look the best part to fit that role ,,but deep down i know my heart is still keeing on askin me "listen to me once"--it has never stopped askin for long time --but as i said "we compromise ourselves for others to feel better when we feel worse "--sumtimes its better to remember that deep down the line if we dont listen to  what our heart wants we will regret our whole life as such!
                                                                       In some cases it might seem we are hurting our closed ones by doing so -but in reality with help of time and sucess in what we have chosen --our closed ppl will understand that its sumtimes best to leave ppl to create their own world in their own ways ,,the most sucessful people in history would have best listeners of their hearts first and then practical exhibitionist of them to the world ,,we take their lives as examples ,,its time we realise what took them there --they were probably allowed to create their world of their choice --they eventually became benchmarks in history--we might not be them --but we might be ourselves if we do listen to our hearts,,maybe i will  also give a  go in near future who knows whats in store? -trust me,, --try tht once u will never regret for tryin!!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

The joy of making others happy - is a feeling beyond comparison!!!

                                       "   Happiness is sumthin everyone wants
                                          Lets make our efforts to make tht possible
                                          After all there is rainbow only if there is rain :)"

           A few years back i was pulled by my friend to come along with her to a orphanage home,i was sumone who did not believe in these much and went reluctantly just expecting to kill time ,,we got over there and the moment we entered into that home seeing those kids flashing wonderful smiles which i felt odd at tht time ,,i was just seein quizzically at her --and i just stayed there for some time and went back to my place,,on the way back i asked the question--Whats the thing u get out of this ?dont tell me age old philosophies --I got a smile back and she said to me --U will find out yourself sumday --im not sayin anythin,
                                                            We went back to the same place few months later and tht time it was a occasion to celebrate a bday --i immediately went there --said that im sponsorin for the day for food ,,with a very prideful look,,then i expected the kids to see me as some great person for doing that,,that was how i frankly viewed at that time,,i saw my friend --and she said angrily I should have never brought u here --i was taken back by tht --i said why--u r seein yourself as a a saviour of them for the day --they are not begging to you --u r sharin wth them what u have --If u cant realise that u will never realise the importance of making sumone happy in your life "the conversation ended over there with me gazin over the window in anger
                                                             Fast forward life now --i go to different orphanage homes and i see in admiration and awe the peopleinvolved in running such organisations work with relentless sincerity -im now a regular visitor ,,now the friend is not there to teach me  why im here---the kids still smile --but now it doesnt seem odd --it seems natural,beautiful,,and i feel it is necessary to share what u have and rather not feel u r giving to the needy ,At this point of life i know im being left lonely --but i dont feel im lonely when im with these people ,,Sumone asked the same question  i asked my frd thn--Why u wanna waste ur time and money on these things--my answer now was "If i could i should share,,period"
                                                            Every individual knows where he stands at certain point of life --i know where im standing --Today i have handful frds to talk,,i make a point to enjoy their birthdays more than mines ,,,make them smile happily when im with them albeit for few minutes--i make a point i goto helping homes on  few occasions --all this for what?--To make sumone happy is not a easy task,,ur money wont buy that,,ur anger words cant buy that ,,ur pleading request wont make them either --its sumthing tht we dont realise how hard it is ,,Today i realise im no great person as i so stupidly saw then--im a ordinary pedestrian who has his own duties to fulfil but at the same time i have my duty to share what i could --mite be minimal but necessary
                                                          There is lot of things we do to earn money endlessly--we hardly realise as long world exist money will keep revolving --but once our times runs out its not the money tht we have earned tht is passed on to the next generation--give your share to the people who u wish to see happy ,,they will do it to their closed  circle --it will be a endless cycle --a chain tht will go on till the world exist--ur share might be minimal but lets not be the ones who break the chain,,yes i run after money now also ,,yes i will run after that all my life--thts nature of human beings --but i realise tht happiness created by us therby bringing a smile to sumone is beyond comparison to any feeling in this world --sum of us do tht to our family--sum do that to our lover ,,to our beloved life partner --im sure every time we do that we feel our hearts very light and the world so much a better place to live in--maybe it mite seem for moments --trust me --when u think about it u will have a self satsfaction that nothin else brings to u
                                                         There is nothing wrong in goin on for our essential things in life--its sumthin that will never end --but along the way make sure u pause for sumtime and  remember the few beautiful moments tht we created for others to be happy ,,surely there will be few for everyone --it sumtimes is a magical feeling tht cant be explained in words but best expressed by having a smile thinkin abt it ,,dont believe me ??do it for sumone or sum people --then u will know it urself --Just  remember never forget to do your share in making others lives beautiful -the world will be  a better place to live for everyone --Cheers!!!

Sunday, May 8, 2011

You Will Be A Winner Sumday!!!!

                "The world rememebers always the winners--the world wont remember losers like us"--this was said by my short  time known frd,when a conversation came regarding my questions --Why life sucks buddy?Why we needed to be seen as losers always ?--he just replied "We r just born to do our roles ,as losers we enter we will leave so" ,and had a hearty laugh--to be frank the guy was tryin to end any purpose of living for a reason by sayin tht ,,i did not argue with him beyond tht but it was not sumthin i could sleep easily with that nite
              Ya accepted im a loser if taken in large scale of life --i dont have what i wanted,deserved or yearned for ,,personally my heart bleeds for not  having a chance at the things i love to have now ,but to call the sacrifices ,,the tough calls ,,the frustratin pains of heart as just a role of a loser  felt ridiculously bad ,,he knew nothin abt me in deep to point out abt me,,but i knew abt me and i was relating to what he said ,,if that was the case then 95 percent of human beings in this world by his perception which was reflected by few i knew are just filling in the role of "Losers"--My answer was a big hell "No"
             The world remembers only the winners --but ask the winners  who they fear most-they will point to the ones who hate to lose are the most dangerous --because they know they are winners waiting to be someday --thts how life has to be taken according to me,,im not a eternal optimist ,,im a laidback optimist --i wait for things to happen positively --that has been my drawback but i can never accept tht i was filling the role entitled by god to act out ,,there was a small little girl who i knew for only a short time --a HIV survivor for long time --a orphan (i hate to even write tht word)--but even after doctors gave her few months to live ,,she lived for yrs before she passed away unfortunately --she refused to be known as a loser --she fought for every bit  before she lost-she seemed a winner to me despite her short life-(she was 10 years old when she died) -she still seems --after all it was not her fault to have tht disease from birth --but she cared less for every medical ailment came across her way--it was genuine way i felt of sayin to world -"Everyone dies not everyone lives"!!
         My own moms sister --had a daughter--my eldest  sister in relation terms  --who was ill from her birth unable to walk and eat --crippled ---but for 20 years --she never gave up,,despite the world seeing her as a poor loser for living every day--i was too young to rememeber any of her fights with fate-she could speak well --she could see well --what i remember her now--she was destined to be a loser ---she ended a loser --but bloody hell she gave a magnificent fight before giving up her life ,my own parents were marvellous experience of real grit --my dad still is not acceptin his fate despite his 65 years of battle with fate--he still wins his share --like my examples there will be surely sumone worth rememberin in your life at every point u feel like --Is this it ?-it certainly isnt--those ppls lives will tell u--its true for me --for now im crestfallen for some time now--but i get inspired by all such ppls lives and say "Get up man the day has dawned ,,ur fate is waiting for a battle --lets give it a good fist and see what happens"
        Sum of us are born winners --many of us might seem like losers --our destination might seem  fixed with the word  LOSER  ,,but there is a way to rewrite that --we have to  hate losing like anythin "Come what may  ---never be afraid to be  a loser ,,and let it be known to the world tht u accept tht u may have lost once but u will be ready for battle when fate pops its head again --because it will never stop popping--and neither should we --because  if we do --then we mite just be filling the roles destined for us and the purpose of life might be lost and we all might seem worth for nothing --so always be ready to accept if u have lost but make sure u hate to be one again because who knows u might be a winner sumday -U got it right --this blog is from a loser who knows the reasons for being so --i hate myself for letting it be so -there might be a second chance sumwhere,,who knows  -maybe sumday i will get my due back as will everyone of us --until then  --lets fight  on and make sure we are not here to fill the roles as losers we r here to change tht to be "winner sumday"  --Cheers!!!

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

"To Be Loved Is Beautiful" !!

        "I know im not the sun in the days of  your world
         Im just making sure im one of the stars in your nights-
         u cant recognise me--but i can keep seein u without u noticin  "
                          Very very strong words written by sumone who i knew sumtime back,,if words had the power to stab sumone i would have been a dead guy now ,,1000 times ,but i for one for valid reasons never loved anyone ,though im starting to realise that being loved is indeed sumthing special than what it initally looks
                        There are few things that money cant buy,,,precious few things ---apart from family --the life partners ,,the soulmate who loves you for what you are ---they show unbridled love -its just tht sume dont realise it ,,some dont want to realise it !!Few years back when life seemed wonderful with frds and known ppl around,,i never believed tht i will  be lookin for sumone desperately few years later,,i always thought Its not a big deal --if i have a problem i can go to any of this frds ,buddies and known ppl,,,whats the thing ppl keep on sayin u need a life partner --u need sumone whom u could fall upon to enjoy ur happiness and explain ur sorrows ,,--i thought thts why best frds are there for!!!
                       I was grossly wrong --or i should say i m slowly gettin proved i was wrong.,,,there is a place for moms dad and families which they only can fulfil --there is place for best friends and time for them to support u ,,they never let u down when needed ,,but similarly there is special place for ur lifepartner or lover which noone else  can fill tht ,,,everyone of them  have  a role in ur life which cant be replaced by the other ,,,Seems god has made the role specific makin sure they are irrplaceable ,,now its obvious at 30 seein the same friends i visualised then  dwindle into very few ,,,the very few i depend upon have their own stuff to do--their own futures to be built upon with what they have ,,their own world with their own life partners -their own kids -with their loved ones --and its not the same and cant be the same what it was few years back
                    Time has come  infact sumtime back where it is actually not desperation but disappointment of  not having tht sumone to talk ,,to see everyday mornin and say im thankful i have u  everyday mornin,,well even if u dont say so ,,u know in sum corner of the heart ,,"oh ya i have her to run upon anytime "-- Now I have a family ,,i have best frds tht one could ever wish ,,but there is a empty space which has been empty for a while --i could work all day but nights seem like years with just my pen ,paper and lappy for company--all lifeless things which i depend upon to fill the void of not havin sumone to talk ,sumone to share things as it is with tht person nearby u
                    I was bit curious to know whether sumthin like this ever existed --so infact i quizzed two  of my frds upon this , --one of them married and other  in a relationship --and i was amazed how they could explain their togetherness which is now into years with great exuberance and childish enjoyment -these were comin from people who are past their teens ,,,Am i missing the sumthing tht is ought not to be missed?thts wht i got out of tht ,,im not envyin them  at all ,,but yes im feeling the space seems empty as far as my life goes now
                  Among the very few gifts i have had in my life there is one precious gift which in reality is a worn out hero pen which was given by me  to the person who wrote the lines i have written in the beginnin 8 long years back-i gave tht  to write a address in my first meeting with her --I got tht as new yr gift in year 2008 sayin "this was the beginnin of sumthin i love --give it to me when u feel the same",,Now the pen remains but not the person anymore
                  I know i was right in not acceptin sumones love out of sympathy because love never came for me but now i know sumthin else was wrong--there is no such ideal person who will come and offer their hand --there is no pride  in sayin  im waiting for right person,,,the person who loves u unconditonally ,,who keeps on looking for u ,,who keeps on yearning to spend time with u ,,is the right person who needs to fill the space which is entitled only for them which cant be replaced by anyone else,,,we keep on lookin for better options sumtimes forgetting the suitable option ---maybe thats where lies the truth of having a life partner and having just a pen ,paper and lappy to content with ,,because the former has life to offer u ,,the latter has just nothin to offer u other than promise of  killing time
              Sumday all this ,might change i might find after all  a suitable option than a better one ,,,everything has a reason ,,but life is short ,,if u keep lookin --u will be left to look upon only urself and  noone else ,,its obvious tht we need to enjoy the person who loves us for what we are ,,because if we dont realise tht ,,then maybe all  that will be left to see is the mirror or a "hero pen" like me ,,hehe ,So dont miss ur chance and never think of replacing them with others,,everyone have their own roles to play ,,to be loved is indeed wunderful--i realised it late but who knows it might still not be late enuf ,,wink,,