Tuesday, January 17, 2012

"Inspiration Beyond Words--Admiration Beyond Belief--On hearing Words Of A Iron Lady " !!!!

               " Sumtimes there are too many good qualities in women  to pinpoint all their   bad ones "

                 "They appeared remarkable when i was young --they appeared admirably wonderful as   years passed by--today was quite simply heart touchingly unbelievable"

                 "Saluting every wonderful woman i have known -they are special ,,very special " 
            Jan 17,2012 ;
                                   With nothing to do ,,not knowing how to pass away the time with a poor back and battered mind i was stuck in house for days ,as it was pongal holidays time and all shops and offices were closed ,,,i decided to search through sumone to speak ,,then suddenly hit upon a old friend ---old in every sense --she was a granma of a old frd whom i cant even call a close friend --but i did not think much --just called her and asked if i could meet her for a talk --my granma and granpa all passed away relatively early so i had a affection for elderly people and i went to meet her and i was pleasantly surprised to see her grand daughter who was slightly elder to me and i used to refer as a sister there,,,now as i told she was my once known friends sister ---i rarely got along with them or her --since i always had the feeling she was too dominant and too grim lookin from my younger days  when i knew her 
                              I knew tht fate played a very bad hand in her life couple of years back when a fateful horrendous accident tore her life to pieces with the accident consuming her husband ,,her parents and importantly her leg---but all these never mattered to me because i was typical human being around--if u dont get close to sumone --their pain means nothing to u--i never made a courtesy call then nor i met her or anyone in family because they fell in ppl whom"i just knew"--how pathetically wrong i was --i  felt today --must admit it was one of my low days that i will be always be proud of always --it might sound weird but true it was !!
                             Here it is why it was so special --when i saw her without her one leg --but as always beautifully cleanly dressed with neat hairstyle --a slightly changed battered face of accident --i made a cruel stupid question on instinct--"Hi akka --How do u manage life with all the stuff -who is helpin u in ur life now -it should be tough na "(in hindsight i wished i had said a few nice comforting words-rather than tryin to blabber questions that might hurt them more than the wounds)--she as always in dominant voice with upright face replied"doing good bro--i did not die then --im sort of curious why i did not die then --there might be some reason --i wanna know what the reason was and im wakin up everyday to find answer for that --mark my words i will find it sumday "--with a slight smile in pure pride of being able to express her hearts grit in words --sumtimes its hardest thing to do --to show ur grit --ur fight --ur true fight in words ---tht was prickingly slick and i felt tht --i just could not see her face --i just turned my attention towards her granma to pack off at the earliest feeling that i got stung by a bee in form of words .
                          On the way back i realised  the depth of the words --say what yes women have their flaws but they sumtimes appear the grittiest,strongest people on earth to me -fate cruelly crippled tht womans life ---but not her heart --not her mind --least not her bloody minded soul--for a moment my mind visited all the wonderful women i had and i have in my life --from the lion hearted mother ,,the soft hearted princess--what a princesss she was ,my possesive love hearted sisters--few amazin ones,,the strong word women teachers,a child girl prodigy who fought aids,my big hearted  soulmate--who appears always as fresh as a daisy in my heart despite my endless hate towards her --and now this lady who has towered to dizzy heights with that attitude --that positive outlook to life despite knowing her life is almost ruined --some story for my old age to tell to people then of this day --and to think i knew nothing abt this person and still know little and added to that might meet very less in my life again as place,situation are bound to keep me away from her --it left a sparkle in my life--i was finding so many reasons to break down --all in mind ,,anger and pain---but here was a remarkable soul finding one good reason to soldier on --facing fate eye to eye .
                 Yes today is not womens day--yes i have been always been bit biasedly liked to talk high about women because i have been influenced by few amazing angels like my mother --its not about tht i say this ---its about the truth i feel abt them ---  even when they fail in love or in life or in office --they seem to have the grit and guts to overcome hurdle and humiliation (i heard from one of my frds how it is hard to go through office hrs when ppl dont stare into ur eyes always - absolute gut wrenching words of pain),physical struggles ,-- they always seem to have their way to grind themselves out of the hole fate digs them into

      "Hats off to u--i have  no hesitation to admit my admiration  on women 
        And of all women i knew -my admiration will keep growing-its been a 
         a low day personally but sumthin i will be proud off for life for knowing 
          there is a reason for me living --and i will try to find it sumday rather than 
                        blaming fate for everythin --Thanks to u "Iron lady "

Still in awe and speechless by the day --meet u soon ,,,,,,,

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Getting "Hurt" Doesnt Always End In "Hate"!!

       "   I promise my truth will  never end in pain for you for if it does let it be a widely accepted lie ---  let the pain be mines --the smile be ours --we part to hopefully meet again sumday "
                             ----  To one of my best friends i miss everyday

     "I wish i never see you again
      Life never designed a plan for us --but not everythin needs a plan
      If i am a reason for u to lose your smile let it be in your sleep
      If u were the reason for my tear let me hold it for next birth
                                                                --To a very special sumone i love a lot...
             The truth folks while writing this my mind and heart are not in cohesion,,i dont believe in fairytale friendships anymore ,,,i for one believed for long it is possible to have fairytale friendships and relationships for long ,,but recent set of events and turbulent events ultimately made me believe that it is impossible to have such things in todays world ,,it aint possible anymore .
            At the end of day --u live your own life --noone plays your role for anything ,i personally have always had the thought "if u love sumone --u love that sumone till last"- Life by way of events  teaches you how to love --we learn by ourselves how to hate --that is why the hate part always doesnt have a pattern but always carries fully the meaning of the word "Pain"
          Recently with close ones and known ones falling away like nine pins by fate i realised that i let them fall away for the good reason that atleast someone can be happy --Its fine if it aint me -there are so many good reasons why i can still have a smile --a smile that came the moment my heart liked that person,,loved that person and lived some enchanting moments with that person ,If it means getting "Hurt"is the only option then it is always better because hurt doesnt erase memories --doesnt erase the good things and doesnt always end in"hate"atleast to me that is what i found out after personal introspection of events and happenings in my life .
            A lovely brother ,,a close sister ,,a frd for 24 years ,,a letter frd for 12 years  and another spl frd ,,--i had them in my life as my shining stars a week before ,,a week later fate shut the lights out of my life and trying to make a wicked smile of it --little did it know they were "Shining Stars"--aint no light made them look bright before and i dont need any ---i sit in dark but i know they will be in my horizon wishing me well --sumtimes when u wanna make the ppl u love smile its better to "feel bit hurt"because according to me personally "hating"is never a option-"IF U LOVE SUMONE U LOVE SUMONE TILL LAST ".period

C ya soon :)


Wednesday, January 4, 2012

"To The Best Person I Ever Had In My Life-On A Tough Day - To U Mom --With Love "

               "Today was a day i achieved sumthin personally good ,,wanted to run to the person who was responsible for this day --but she visits me in dreams and touches me through air ,smiles through pictures but most importantly  LIVES IN  MY HEART TO KEEP ME GOIN"

                     FOR U MOM ON A DAY I MISSED U SO MUCH --LUV U
      "You had no magic skills yet u performed miracles by a magic wand called love  "

                      You showed the meaning of love
                      You showed that anger can be conquered
                      You showed that silence could be read with words
                      You showed that painful tears could be lost
                      You showed heart matters to value a person nothing else
                      You showed lifes hurdles are never impossible to jump
                      You showed God by being the best impersonation i never recognised
                      You showed 42 years is enuf to live a eternity among everyone
                      You showed smile for all ur endless pains and troubles
                       You showed life could be fought relentlessly never giving up

                                             U also showed ,,,

                         "You can embrace death with smile -"--probably the only person in the whole world i knew who could make even death shed a tear for doing that to such a pure,clean ,lovely soul whose only mistake in life was to be born as a human ,Probably God gave u a choice to be a angel or be a mother of 3 -a queen of a great  king --a world ravished heart and  unforgettable one --at the cost of a SHORT LIFE ,,AN ALMOST PERFECT ONE

                          I say it a almost perfect one because the bit of imperfection is of the son she wanted so much yet gave so little ---the one who is writing this -still loving her and still missing her hell a lot -the one person i loved,love and love forever endlessly and unconditonally --moms are amazingly great --till ashes with love ---with ur love forever in heart ----life goes on with  ur blessings and a heart full of lovely memories  ,,,,,,,all i can say is ,,,"LOVE U AND MISS U "