(Dedicated to my lovely sister -Archana Karthikeyan celebrating her birthday today)
** As she walked away into a new family --i felt the whole weight of the world -it was not as if i had lost my happiness --it was the truth that i will never have that special sumone everyday in my life who will ask me whatever she wants believing i will get no matter what --that is what i will miss most **
----- As every brother feels for every sister so did i when my only blood born sister got married few years back .
Life is to be celebrated because time is one constraint that we can't control at any cost ,The beginning we may have just one or two sisters --but the moment u realise the presence of urself in this world u begin ur search for happiness --sisters epitomise that journey --hand in hand we walk towards our untold destination --searching for answers to tough questions -she becomes the first person who asks us her wishes with belief that we wont disappoint her (a mother expects nothing:))-- Her love coated in anger --a sister is a magical path that every brother travels to eternal happiness --Many times in my personal life i have wondered and seen with my own eyes that a girl as a sister endowers happiness and worries in same measure yet supporting you with the same commitment ,loyalty and belief she did from the time she held ur hands with a smile ,that is a sister --she will do anything to make her brother smile --even if it means holding all her tears to make him smile .
Its just not the sisters you are born with who make u feel that magic --that magic that doesnt make u feel lonely at any cost --there are inevitably few other girls ,women that come into ur life who make ur life a beautiful garden to walk along because they are prepared to walk along the thorns that life throws at u without a second thought --its not the physical presence that matters --its the mental support that they give u even afer marriage --because a brother is the first best friend every sister encounters --and she makes sure she gives her all to have that efferevescent feeling for life despite anything .For me personally i take long time to take someone as a sister --but once taken they never change --a platonic relationship that makes my heart feel beautiful every single time u meet such people --there has been cases where i knew few people for several years(some of them i havent met -knew only through online ) who have given exactly the same amount of happiness day in and day out ,that word surely has something that always makes u feel better .
I remember travelling 30 odd kms to see Archana and her husband Karthick who himself had become close enuf like a family guy as yrs went by --the whole travel had the purpose of seeing someone who gave me unbridled love every single time despite never growing up with me --I was served food with the love of my mother -i remembered not what i was served but how it was served --with a smile right from the heart and not a single word uttered but i heard a million with that eyes and smile -8 years till then i loitered around aimlessly ,desperately ,to find that love my mom served me food ,,for couple of hours it felt as if time had stopped to make me enjoy that moment ,one of the happiest i have had ever and sumthing that wil stay with me for life --the love of a sister is the purest form of love that is only inferior to that of a mother --maybe u can term them as a second mother --its true they expect things from u --but they feel its their birthright --that is what makes them special because they make u feel special by small small things .
I was priveleged enough to be born to a wonderful sister --but despite whatever happens from now --i have been in someways a blessed soul because i am blessed with some wonderful,wonderful people who just kept coming and making my life worth living despite whatever hurdles i encountered -My Beautiful memories includes my struggles not just my joy -the support i have had is truly beyond words and description.To have reached a stage where loneliness doesnt affect me i owe every inch of tht willpower to those amazing sisters ,Sisters whom i have sometimes behaved stupidly ,,scowled meaninglessly,spoken carelessly,misunderstood idiotically ,,yet always have loved them endlessly because a sister cannot be replaced in life --no matter what ---period -the meaning of believing urself begins with their first request in anger to u --not in every case but in most cases .
As i write this my first memory of my sister as a small little kid sitting in kiddy cycle in blue skirt asking me to push from behind --beleiving that i will and i did and will do to all my wonderful sisters till my time runs out --the joy of this life lies in small small things that ur heart notes and mind reads when u need them for the next day --i have plenty courtesy my sweetheart sisters--Given another chance to wish for another birth i wont --because this time it has been momumentally special and im in the course of making it extra special--I just love my sisters as does every brother in this world --SOOOO MUCH !!!
Special mention to Rajeswari ,Shabana ,Nithya,Priya Garhwal ,Seema Sandeep,Deepa Ravi,Priya Tak (Miss u every single day Piyu),Nalini ,Maghima ,Mounika ,Disha Soni ,Jaya Suresh )
" A Sister loves her brother so much --A brother simply never stops loving his sister"
" Compromising - The real fact is "You try to be what u r not and end up being what u r "
Many years before i used to think "Whats the big deal in compromisin --After all you are not gona lose anything by being so "--It seemed so simple then --What once started as a playful duty to satisfy sumone we love slowly became a unwritten rule of responsibility -then inevitably becomes an undeniable expectation --An expectation that for sure will make u feel like carrying two people at the same time --What gets lost is ur identity --ur individuality -ur happiness --Nothing kills u like expectations does.How much is so much is the biggest unanswerable question regarding things that bother us badly .
The biggest irony is we think we are compromising just for the sake of people we love and in truth we never change what we are --but the thought of compromising is what makes the reality an absolute impossibility .A simple thought process of ur life would lead u to answer this question .
"No matter how hard u try to compromise yourself to gel with sumone u love there will always be a part of u that will try to pull u back to ur own self --and in most cases win eventually "
" A dad wants his son to be a representation of what he had visualised
A brother wants us to be equally good or better than him
A sister always wants to be the proudest sister in the world
A husband /wife want their better half to be the best role model to the world ,
A mom always wants her son to be the best human being in the world,
Then the biggest question ----
Can u sucessfully compromise urself to realise all these wishes?? -We try to be the answer to all these wishes and in the end be none of the above and during the course of this realisation forget what the real identity we are born with ,,There maybe people who vehemently disagree with this perception but those people will be outnumbered by people who go through --and yes this is from personal experience too --not just read in some book to quote out here ,If u can contradict me by saying that a l person doesnt need all this introspection then there is a big question of whom do u call a successful person --One with fame ,name ,more than enough money -a family appearing eye pleasing ,,heart warming ???---All these are analysis made on the basis of ticking the boxes with regard to society and world but to a individual the reason for him to be perceived this has been in most cases an alarming level of compromises made purely to accomadate more people in his /her life ,,Again his real wish of being someone he wants is lost in this calamity of trying to satisfy the whole world therby slowing losing the real person he /she was born with .
Many times in my life i have wondered why am i not able to cope up with my so called compromises that i tried making for other people to stay in my life(people whom i loved and love endlessly even now ) and yet lost them--i never understood that concept for long but i slowly now realise that somewhere along the line i refused to change the person i was born to be --That is precisely the danger of keeping on compromising --u cannot compromise the person u r --we just try and in the end fail what we ought to be and lose what we try to be --the reason why there are so many misunderstandings ,breakups --staying apart theory --lies in this one common word --Compromising-The real fact is "You try to be what u r not and end up being what u r "
If u r born flawed so be it --there is noone flawless as such --people make mistakes ---people are loved for their honesty in appearing what they are -Remember u make frds ,relationships intially by whatever u r --nobody foresees the someone u try to become to be loved more -There is a certain level of comfortness that true love helps us in accomodating people we deserve in our lives --the problem arises when we cross that limit and try acting different --looking for more comfort and love - Abundance of anything is a danger sign for unbearable losses -Next time if u think about compromising something beyond the realms of possibility of what u r as a person -"Never try to be "--absolutely "Never "--Be whatever you are and you could be --you could be give peace to the most important person u should consider first --"Yourself ":):)--Finiahing off with a quote told by my good mate some yrs ago
" I might have had lot of people if i kept compromisin --That i did not was down to me refusing to get lost eventually --Its just one life -I wanna live and leave on my terms "
When i was a toddler happiness was in everythin i did
When i was a school kid happiness was in things i was given
When i was a college guy happiness was in things i liked
Now happiness is when i realise my mistakes and make sure it is my last
Happiness can be termed as an barometer that shows the maximum level you enjoy living this life given to you ,,Happiness to a certain level of life depended on what i was provided --then it kept changing --as a teenage guy there was so many things that gave happiness --sometimes i felt is there anything better in this world than being a teenage guy ?--The exuberance of youth always keeps u tantalisingly close to truth yet u dont realise what exactly it means till u grow bit older --just a bit :P.
Rarely did i indulge in any sports activities or interactive fields during my school life --i used to wait for time to fly away to see my mom --Nothing excited me more than her face --Nothing gave me more happiness than being with the most wonderful human being i ever was blessed to be with --and boy oh boy --wasnt she a angel who created me the most wonderful life a son could wish for --everyday was like a scene enacted from heaven --As if i was living with a human being 1000 times superior than me ,,so soft yet so fiercely driven by will --I did not have too many friends --i cared less --i had "the person who mattered most --and for sumtime the better part of 20 years of my life --time stood still --so did my happiness .
As college days sprang open --i found myself in increasingly wobbly territory --my happiness wavered from one to another without purpose --i just tried to feel happy in whatever u liked regardless whether it was what it should be --I was non smoker ,,a non alcholic,and i respected women hell a lot to even perceive them wrongly ever --but i was making hella lot of mistakes --i cared very less whether my happiness was impacting other people in the wrong side --i had no perception but just the want to be happy in doing things that i perceived to make me happy ,So many things had so much of my time to have been done better but it just did not have enough of me --and it took some huge losses to make me realise it was not exactly the way to be happy --the feeling of a motherless life ahead made me see the real picture of what a shabby mess i was getting into just for the sake of trying to be happy by doing things my way always .
Then this phase the phase for the last 10 years goin on --slowly realising how tough it is to feel "real happiness"--have been very lucky to have met some absolute wonderful persons to help me in the journey -juggled in all this years with having to go thorugh some harsh misunderstandings --a few very unfortunate mishaps --so many restless nights --so many questionable occasions which i wished gave me some time to understand the magnamity of happenings --slowly inch by inch --the hard truth of what it means to be really happy shaped up --something i never visualised for better part of 25 years of life --Happiness is not always about what u like or what u wish or what u r given rather
"Happiness is when u realise ur mistakes and make sure it is the last time u do that in life --It is when you feel you can better that tiny bit a better person in life than the previous moment "
Today was personally a peacefully calm time in heart --i have done my share of rubbish silly mistakes in my life --that i have been given time to make sure not to repeat them gives me a sense of satisfaction and real happiness --and it wont be out of the way for me to say
"Happiness is in the end the best way u want to see urself regardless of what u like "
Sighning off with real happiness .,,,lolz
"To my best friend Ravi and his wife my little sissy Deepa celebrating 3 years of togetherness -On their 3rd Wedding Anniversary"
"Me and Ur dad have never fought for the best part of 25 years --Marriage was the best thing that happened to me --My life began then --a beautiful life as u know was waiting ,,,,!!!"
My Mom once said this ---Marriage is considered to be the single most thing that makes a person a complete one in our part of the world ---Always had this theory seeing married people that there may not be exactly lot of ideal couples in the world but there is not one couple that tries not to be one during the course of their long journey together(As i write this im still a single guy so i cant exactly write from experience but have seen bit and lived in awe watching my parents from young age give utmost importance and respect to this relationship --My dad even after lot of pressures to marry again after my moms sudden demise never married again )
Feb 18,19 -2010
I remember being slightly tensed when all this happened few years back --Here was my best friend getting married --Will the girl be the right one ?--Will she be the one that seperates me and my best buddy -So many things were running along my mind when i was travelling to Bangalore --and i was attending 3 marriages within 2 days --and i had to unfortunately miss the big days function of my best friend while i did attend his reception--Known for the best part of 15 years --i had inherited a lot of his family members who had taken me into their own family (Special mention to Pradeep kumar ,Nirmal ,Nithya )--but the moment i saw deepa ,,there was a sense of unknown calmness --a feeling of silent happiness--that a frdship atleast is secured for a longer time than expected -(little did i know then i was about to get a sister for life too )-The life before marriage between friends and life after marriage is a huge barrier to overcome --most cases it is the cut off point even between best mates --not entirely unfair --for a new person to get accustomed to a new family in itself is a big barrier --to expect her to follow the same with her partners best friends is almost close to asking too much ,,but there are rare exceptions and i found absolute rarity as a easily acquaintable possibility with Deepa --With added bonus of becomin a lovely sister being the icing of cake .
This is for u both sweethearts and yes they have a wonderful little angel "Sana "--to make it one lovely happy family
கடலின் சீற்றம் காற்றில் தெரியும்
மகிழ்ச்சியின் அளவு சிரிப்பில் தெரியும்
தோல்வியின் வலி கண்ணீரில் தெரியும்
வாழ்கையின் வெற்றி நம்பிக்கையில் தெரியும்
நம்பிக்கையின் பிம்பம் என் கரம் பிடித்தவளோடு !!!
Here's wishing one of the best couples i know--two of the loveliest human beings u will ever see --People who care for others ---who love each other for every reason possible --and yes people who stood by each other the moment to make this relationship a reality --To have someone accompany you side by side holding your hand in the long journey of life is the utmost pleasure you could have in life ,To a lovely sister and to a friend whom i could have only dreamt heres wishing "A Happy 3 rd wedding Anniversary -Luv u lot "
(P.S--They say marriage is a instituiton i hope one day i get admission to write from personal experience --lolz)
Another shameful act in the name of unreturned love by a barbaric human being ended a young girl's life --Vinothini all of 23 years with lot of untold dreams was thrown acid by a stalker who had been troubling her to accept his supposedly "true love"--when eventually knowing his love was not reciprocated --he turned himself into a remorseless human being --disfiguring her face in a barbaric act --Worse was he never felt any remorse even after being arrested for this heinous act --the girl suffered a massive heart attack after being in treatment and succumbed unfortunately --the girl has gone --the guy behind the bars --I doubt whether the guy ever knew the meaning of the wonderful word love --Otherwise he would not have tried to force his wish to be same of that innocent's girls .
Sufferings for a girl in this society seem to be growing endless --the other day one of my good friends email id was hacked -a pretty much strong will powered girl herself working in a respected concern ,seemed very tensed about the happenings --so much so she deleted her social networking sites anticipating more such acts by sumone who had started to indulge in some painfully poor acts like hacking -In reality Stalking has become a untold rule for denied love or expression for meaningless excess love .
There are calls for strict rules --call for stricter punishment for harassment --frankly speaking can anyone guess such heinous and indecent crimes by people --Not everyone is born bad or as a criminal .
" The inevitability of accepting a impending defeat is what makes a person so vulnerable --is what makes him do heinous crimes --the best solution lies with that person --he is the only one who can stop such acts " To categorise strict laws --strict punishments is all for expectation of something bad or punishing a act that was bad --but the moment when someone is vulnerable is something noone can guess ---That moment if we are able to sustain that urge to hit back against a wrong gone wish is the best way to stop such acts ,that is something that has to be taught from young age , sadly we are always been away from discussing the dangers of sexual abusing ,stalking , from our young age --restriction of uttering even such words leave alone discussin is what makes people unaware of their strength in trying to stop that moment of urge --that moment of madness,Sadly that hasnt been the case at all ,,Being educated doesnt guarantee u to be aware enought to fight ur weakest moment .But educated enough in right sense could .
The Delhi barbaric act killing a young women ,,here a acid attack killing a young aspiring girl ,,a 2 year old girl sexually abused by a guy,,a airhostess who commits suicide six months before for harrasment --her mother killed herself recently not able to accept more torture --A strong girls email id hacked ,,stalking becomin more and more an righteous act to satisfy that unknown vulnerability --where is this all gonna end--strict rules ,,stricter punishments are a case of after thought or assumption of belief but the solution has to be with us people --If a girl doesnt feel secured enough to walk freely ,talk freely ,live a life in her own independant terms --then there is not one good enough reason to believe that as a country we are moving forward.
" Early man hunted animals for their living -- Men of today hunt women for their urge
And they say mankind has come a long way ,,,,,,,!!!
With Lot of pain,,,,waiting for a better tomm
C ya Soon .
Since i have no experience on Valentines day--this is my wish (No serious blog today ,,kindly adjust intended only for fun :P)
Self explantory --Next updation soon after Feb 14th ,,,,:P:P
Happy Valentines Day in advance :)
" Forgiveness is a option ,, Importantly a option that decides whether you are a egoist or not "
Recently a sucessful business man in his early 40's --a elder brother to a friend i knew lost his father --Due to lot of misunderstandings and difference of opinion he had not spoken to his father for close to 15 years --"I asked him to forgive me in his grave "saying this he broke down badly --i could see how much he loved his father as every one of us do --I know how exactly it feels to lose one of your parents --after all i lost my wonderful mother when i was just 20-I had few questions in my mind later when i rewinded the incident - what stopped such a loving son to speak to his dad when he was alive ---He had time to ask forgiveness certainly --There could not be a greater reason which could have stopped him from giving peace to himself and his father for eternity --But it did not and it certainly was not the first time i felt something like that in life ,Maybe you are too helpless to realise the magnamity of the situation
Silence is not a solution to gripping misunderstandings --Why should we carry a pain for lifetime when there is a chance to bury that for lifetime by merely asking forgiveness or giving forgiveness---A simple solution to kill a growing pain in the beginning itself--Whatever the reason maybe --however valid it maybe --no matter how much hurt it brought u--it simply is not a good enough reason to carry something unnecessarily for a whole life -we have enough reasons to fight for life already dont we ,,lolz.
"That you can love completely is ample proof u can never hate anyone "
---I have read that somewhere --In a way it sums up what it is ---No human being is devoid of love --and whats amazing is in most cases that beautiful feeling which began a relationship --which strengthened the mutual trust on each other --be it between a brother -sister --between siblings --in family or in any relation is completely lost when there is confusion at a precise moment whether to forgive or ask forgiveness --the demon in us wakes up and makes us do things we would never do if we remember that beautiful feeling for jsut one moment --A feeling called "Love".
Love is something that exist in every relation in this world .
"Maybe it is true we love carefully than completely "
I feel excruciating pain everytime i hear someone say like what my frd did regarding his father --i have never been the perfect guy --i have been through all those situations countless times --it took me long time to realise the pain of that word ---i remember standing every single day before my mothers picture and asking for forgiveness for not being the son she visioned --and to think i never did that when she was alive is enough testimony to realise the importance of the word --i try as much as i can to give ultimate respect to this word with people whom i love -to make a relationship possible --it takes hell a lot of pain and ultimate respect to a realtionship comes when u r prepared --prepared to kill ur ego to make the relationship work --a chance to hold on to something which made u happy-- a oppurtunity to create more unforgettable memories --maybe one more reason to wake up the next day with hope --who knows ?--Refusing to respect the word will invisbily hurt your better tommorow.
" Forgiveness is a opportunity to get a smile and give a smile "
(Believe me it is no joy to ask forgiveness seeing someones picture or in sumones grave --if u get a opportunity to forgive or ask forgiveness --JUST DO IT WITHOUT A BLINK OF EYE -ITS UR LIFE --ITS UR BEST OPPORTUNITY TO BE AT PEACE :):))