" No matter how frustrated we are ,god has not asked us to do the impossible"--one of my most respected teachers told me this many years back,,i just got this in mind to write a blog about sumthin that i found no way of leaving out for time being now
At a time of very tough self questioning and very examining situations of recent times made me say to a frd "Buddy i feel lonely and lost ,,,i dont know where im heading ,,i seem in a heady mess --i see no reason to see life otherwise"--as i already said in one of my blogs im not a pessimist but a laidback optimist ,,but incident after incident ,,stress after stress ,,failure after failure ,,finally made me go to brink of sayin this to the person,,i was very frustrated with life --i was left to battle life on my own ,,,and i felt it was not wrong to say so
That person ,,a very silent but strong charactered person who was sumone whom i never gave more respect than sumone known ,,,listened to me patiently ,,he knew he was not the first choice person i would goto ,,he knew because i had no one really to talk and wanted to say few things to feel better i talked with him,,looked at me and said with a stern look,,look buddy i dont know much about you to help u,,but i can say only this" if u r lost dont worry u may still find alternative route to your destination"
The chat got over ,,nothin much since i was not a revealer of my heart much to unknown persons --it just ended there---i was just thinkin incidents ---it was excruciating tough time --hard to say anything positive ,,because i knew certain things can never change ,it got me scared and worried ,,,after all its human nature how hard u try ,,,ur mind and heart are two different worlds which coexist in very few things in life ,pointing my situation to lack of support or communication from my close circle was merely a fact to divert the reality that i was not prepared to conquer a big demon which has started to acquire huge porpositions --a demon called "Frustration"
My frustration recently grew very badly so much so i almost broke up with two of my best friends ,,before sanity returned ,,Right now i cannot see my destined direction,,,every direction seems to have a road block --every minute seems a hour ,,every frd seems pushing me into the door of darkness where there is no return ,,,everythin personal seems doomed--close to a deathbell ,,,but sumwhere deep inside there seems a desire burning --a desire to stand alone if fate made me so,,,,a desire to find a way to live with unfairness ,,a desire to accept the truth im one of the guys sitting on burning deck "but that desire seems to be a flickering light --in utter darkness-maybe it might be the only "Ray of Light " to find my alternative route to my destination and dreams --JUST MAYBE"
If i leave my frustations to rule me --i will lose that little desire too --my only lifeline now seems that---i dont know whether i will find that desire but i know i have to conquer this seemingly endless frustrations to realise that ,,its not that simple ,,life offers you so many perspectives that you start to find the wrong reasons for refusing to accept truths
No life is rosy from day one to the final chapter--there are many demons that we have to conquer to realise that there are many things one has to achieve --the dreams ,,the wishes ,the life we wish,the lifepartner we need to choose --everythin can be easily ruined by a few untamed demons --for me this is one thing i know tht sure is ,,im sumone who always believed tht life will even out sumwhere to be fair --its tht we need to be patient enough to see tht --easily said than done --but there are examples in the world ---in our family to prove it ,,,finally want to quote what sumone whom i respect even now whos is no more now said to me many years ago
"Frustrations is never a option for me because it has the power to change my opinion"(U were always right jaan --luv ya always )--I wish i had tht determination-but im sure i can conquer that in sumway --as i said life evens out sumwhere !!!!
Signing off with wishes that there are only conquerors in this world of such demons ,,wink :)