"There is a reason i see every dawn --despite my fears to not see them sumdays "
(First of all i never expected sumtime back to write another blog as i was in pretty sorry mindset for last few months ,,but one thing that never deserts me unlike other things in life is my love for these words and for my passion for it never dies ,,it feels awesome to write few words again,,and to the lovely souls who read my blogs,however few it maybe its precious for me --im grateful for that to all,its been a very tuf time indeed ,,hopefully its all goin into the past now )
I have wondered why in life -words like happiness,smile ,love,,is often outshone by words depression,,tears and hatred ,,,i guess without these words te real essence of joy would have been missed in life,i realised many things just of recently ,,wishes are like dreams ---u can only visualise them ,,wishes rarely become realities !!
The last 2 months have been the worst in my life ---because i was being pulled down to the extent of me reaching a level of depression --which i felt might drown me out ,,,wrong outlet of all the same led me to breakup with frd after frd --relation after relation--i began to hate myself because i started to doubt the credibility of my belief and willpower which were losin shape ,i sat down and thought bit of where im heading ---there were dark days when i thought i never wanted to see the dawn ,,but i saw and was pushed to see them --there was probably some reason after all
Losing close people became mandatory,,losing special people became customary,,losing my best soulmate ,,losing sumone who had roses for my every tear and losing all i had for my heart to not break made me almost crumble --it was a case of god sayin ---"be ready to lose many"--i wanted to reply "i wont have any",,Here i stand now with almost all my precious beloved people lost for one reason or other ,,,yet i know crying or hitting the wall are no solutions,,frdship,family ,work environment were all not in good order ,,,but when i sat and thought of "Why im fearin even my existence --it should not be" because i have to do some of my responsibilities still ,,,my ambition is unfulfilled ,there are some dreams which are yet to be realised,,there is a long journey that has just started
I was missing sumone terribly for last fortnight --so much so one of my frds found out in my behaviour ---he just replied to me --"you are so lucky to have nice people in life--but sumtimes luck runs out on purpose ---you cant be omni good to everyone in this world --u have ur flaws -everyone has --u try to cover your flaws by tryin to adapt to everyone ---u have lost ur identity --find that --be urself --if u were meant to have them u will --if not let them go --be thankful for the memories -there will be others waiting for you to continue ur journey"
I was hearin dumbfounded by the magnamity of simple assesment of my situation --in other words he offered me my solution --i can live with pain but not with a clustered mindset ,,yes sumtimes truth hurts but nothin teaches u like truth -- I still dont wish to see some dawns but now i m not afraid to face them--i have no reason to fear if i was myself always,, i will march on to my unrealised dreams with pains of course but not with fears anymore !!!
"My new journey might be lonely--almost--i still have one or two to assist me --but this time it will be with me being as me --ready for anythin --ready to pay any price --ready to face my fate and play by my rules--"Lifes spirit lies in facin adversity --not being eaten by it "