Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Tears Are The Best Words A Heart Cant Express!!

            "How powerful is our tears -- more powerful than what we think "

                   I felt the urge to write this blog because few days back i wanted to break down very badly to release the pressure my mind was feeling but i did not -i don't have my sweetest persons near me ,my all time best frd hurt me badly so much so it brought a uneasy silence in my heart ,neither do i have my miraculous girl nearby me --everyone live far apart -so in all ways if i shed tears i will be washed away by destiny -if i want to defeat the ever surfacin fears of life --this is the best way -holding on my tears -hoping one day using them all together when there  are moments that are   undeniably joyful (damn sure there will be some soon) !!

                        Today there are million reasons for me to cry --thousand  reasons to feel sickening bad --hundred reasons to feel sad that i have mouths that wanna curse me more than hands that are ready to support me---i have few good hearts to wish me good --a miraculous girl who lives so far but offers a invisible hand always in tough times ,a job that was  not my first wish but my best destiny in these times --all these make me all the more strong believer that if u wanna take on ur fears u have to first hold back ur tears,,turn desperate moments into life changing decisive moments

         One of the most powerful emotions but often negatively referred one is of our tears ---Who taught me to cry ??--how did it came naturally??--the answer is simple --its the same god who made u smile without anyone teaching --but often a smile is referred to as something of happiness but tears are always referred as  some sought of negativity --in reality not all tears are exhibition of loss or bad things ,,in my view it is powerful weapon if used properly to defeat out demons --the key lies in using them less ,,holding them back a tad little --sumtimes its what will give u impetus to be more fierced and focussed

        I remember the first time i cried --i got what i want --it was like a chocolate that i was addicted to --when i needed to get sumthing i just cried-i thought my tears is a boon that will get me anythin--i never realised that it is one of the ultimate weapons u need if u had to defeat ur demons and fears-the first time i failed in exams in my teens made me cry to hide the truth that  i started to become careless,,it started a regular habit of using it to escape the true wrath from people whom i love,,my boon was working wonders --i was slipping under the notice of everyone in the mask of my tears --little i knew abt what followed few years later

      The fear of failing and standing up to be counted made me try to use my tear as a  mask to escape the wrath of truth --i felt to be sucessful in my attempts then  --thats probably the pain and gain of youth --you know u r doing something wrong yet u wanna do it --then out of teens --out of college --the world seemed suddenly brighter than ever --with a plethora of shocks happening in matter of  very short time--my mom who had seen most of my tears left --and with it left what all i had --my belief ,,my confidence ,my love for dresses ,,my motivation to live ---and finally the "boon i thought i had owned also left"--i stopped to get tears when i wanted --suddenly there was no escape from the things i feared ,,then i realised if it had to be  a meaningful life ,i had to use my tears as my primary weapon against my fears and inner demons

    After all a normal ordinary commoner cannot be a superman --he has to learn to manage with what he has -that is exactly what i decided to do--if i wanted to goto my desired path it required sumthing very strong-i was confronted with continuous terrible situations which demanded nothing but tears ,,i wanted to but i held them back with great difficulty--every time i wanted to break down i just became more strong that if i break down it will be after i have tried my mighty best to not --it was unusual situations ---for a normal person--the important things in life are mom,our dream angel ,.,small small dreams which we work so hard --no different in my case --but they exitted pretty fast than it entered my life ---i just learnt if i start releasing my tears i would be even more vulnerable person than i m ,thankfully to god and some good happenings i realised it before too late

 Finishing with the line from my personal diary i wrote recently when i was about to shed a tear or two abt a very special someone

   "A smile masks truth sumtimes
    but tears always shows what u feel
    U heard my tears when none did
    now i hold mines to listen your smile sumday "
                            Cheers  :)

No comments:

Post a Comment