Been a long while or so it seems since i blogged --Sick ,Sick ,Sick--literally thats what i have been all the past few months ---today morning i went out after a long time to one of places i used to visit long time back even before i had moved to chennai
Moving along the streets after a visit to church i used to visit --i was walking along the shop side of streets--have to mention sumthin here --it was same place i had roamed around 7 odd years or so before on newyears eve with few of my frds whom i have completely lost touch now--during that time with just pure exuberance of enjoying life not knowing what is right or wrong --we actually hit upon tht side during wee hrs of new yrs eve ,parying crazily if i have to put it in right words :)---few of my frds (not all of us ) who were supposedly"high" took the garlands from roadside shops and threw in air --enjoyin the moment and picking quarrels with ppl over there --mainly ladies were there as shopkeepers,,,when i was walking today i had no idea of those incidents until i met a old lady who kept gazin me for sumtime
Where r ur "high "frds --coming behind u?
she asked i was blinkin at her --she asked --me ?--you only --i remember u very wel and ur great friends --they all ruined our beginning of a new year many years back --how can i forget tht ? --then i remembered wht she was saying is true --i hardly remembered her face from tht incident ,,,,i was standing expressionless--"im sorry for u to remember me like tht "--she said ---"its ok i remember you well of that small girl who accompanied you --she asked to pay for us and you did "when your friends were still fighting with me --i have forgiven and forgotten all of them --i forgave you then not because of your money but because of that girl --shes your small sister na ?hows she--convey regds to her -she was so beautiful --still remember her face --i replied nothing --just smiled and said you are a nice person and a lucky one too---so only u r blessed to be so near of god selling this garlands .,,
A true realisation,
As i moved along the street i asked myself a weird question "How do i remember some of my close people --do i remember them the way like the old lady did of me --- that of my frds,,my sisters,my relations --- with "ill feelings ??
it was very difficult question--but there was sumthing my mother used to teach me when i was young---if u want to know what your heart thinks about sumone --just close your eyes and see what image u get of that person--tht is the true reflection of what your heart thinks "--she was marvellous because from my young age i had and have this problem of trying to figure out the real importance of a person who is close to me --i invaraibly lost person after person due to this confusion---today i decided to do the same test"I CLOSED MY EYES AND THOUGHT ABT THE PERSONS WHOM I WANTED TO KNOW WHAT MY HEART THINKS ---AND ALL I COULD REMEMBER OF THEM WAS SMILES AND HAPPY MOMENTS SHARED TOGETHER AS A SLIDE SHOW "--I knew at that very instant when i opened my eyes --i have had a pretty good life till now no matter how bad it appears-no matter how lonely i feel at times,,,no matter how sick i have been falling lately ---nothin has really made me develop a "ill"feeling towards any of them that is a special feeling not everyone is blessed ,,,as i came back and put my cd player on in my car --the song "Tere Hone Laga Hoon"played ---i smiled endlessly !!
"I felt happier than yesterday i ask only tht for the remainder of my time"
Cheers ,,,c ya soon
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