Sunday, June 3, 2012

If only ,,,,,

                          "Im not searching my happiness dad --im just acting as if i forgot how to feel it just to make u ,this society and surroundings to be happy "- Recently heard from a close frd who i heard saying this to his dad ,,Felt the real pain behind those words
                                                This may not be the ultimate feel good blog --but somethin that is bothering,,hindering and stopping people to enjoy life for a small factor of self pride and ignorance of acknowledgin what u need is to see ur loved ones real smile .
                                                 The other day i had gone to a unfortunate demise of a known frd who passed away in a moment of haste inflicting injuries to himself  --he was about 35 yrs old--a sincere hard working guy --a perfect example of middle class man -but more than that a perfect example of how a individual is constrained by endless strings pulled by family members and society while all he wished was  a little bit of  freedom - a little  bit of acceptance .
                                                Ashok(Name changed )-my friend had the perfect family to enjoy--a dad who worked 35 years in a govt job --a mom who was a bank official --two sisters --he was not a close frd of mine but sumone who enjoyed love,care and affection from his lovely family --a above average student --he had failures running havoc over his life--after struggles to realise his dreams he compromised and joined in a concern for a average salary --his family accepted him for starting to work forgetting his dreams,,his wish was always to be a well known journalist --but financial condition stopped him --his family --his relations all saw him as the perfect guy and praised him endlessly --his dad ,mom were happy -but little did they realise he did not have a bit of happiness
                                              Then sumthing happened that happens to most of us --"He fell in love "--in love with a girl working along with him--then his life turned upside down --his dad ditched him out of his house,,his mother stopped talkin to him unless he takes back his decision on tht girl(as all mothers rendered helpless by society ,family ,husband not entirely with their heart ),,love doesnt come after ticking off all the boxes a family requires --she was from different caste,culture ,status ,,everything--the guy a harcore tea totaller ,,a amazing guy who withstood all stresses to not be otherwise till his last .

              I wondered IF ONLY
                                         * His dad had realised how his son had made sacrifices to make him happy ,,put his dads pride above his all his life --
                                         * His mom had realised that for a son noone is above a mom ---from the moment he is born in this world --he admires her like none --he waits for her to read his mind because only she knows he stutters for words when his heart is hurt ,,sumehow a mom remains handcuffed by loyalty to husband and society
                                         * His sisters realise how much their brother cares for them to have a settled life --they *wait till them get married ,,settle in their married life --all along the guys life is still uncertain,unsettled --not to be blamed ultimately their wishes and voices go unnoticed due to stupid orthodox reasons being followed for generations
                                        *  His friends could sit with him  at moments of desperate despair and help him find a solution rather than allowing him to get himself destroyed by his own confusions and indecisions and fear ,,,again the society role in making them helpless after certain point restricting entry into family circle citing a age old saying "how does a frd come into a family decsion"
                                       *  His relations,,his society --praising him for sumthin he did not want and dumping  him to the ditches not realising he was is at the end of day the same guy who they saw as a perfect family guy .sumtime back

                                         Now he is gone --i just wondered whether there will be any change at all to the society which ultimateltly was a main reason of his demise--why does a dad,a mom ,family,,relation ,society dump a good soul for falling in love--it is beyond me to understand --how not one person could talk,,understand and do sumthing about his happiness ,,a life went just like that -his dreams unfulfilled --excruciatingly what hurt was people remembered him for supposedly big "Crime"--Loving a girl against wishes of a family and society and not for anything else.
                                    Will this ever change --Will there ever be  anything done to stop so many lives cut short by inability to withstand loss of happiness for prolonged period beyong imagination?
                                      Will there ever be a case of all this relations,family ,society leaving us by saying"this is one life --be happy in the way u wish "i doubt  whether i will ever see that sort of change in my lifetime --the relations,society ,family pride contributes to people seeing a guy or girl as a villain for falling in love .will they ever realise that the time before casting them as villain he or she has made sacrifices beyond their wishes -- sadly it  never happens
                                    Finally wishing i never go to another sad occasion to witness a life being plucked by fate so early just because there was so many ppl who could have stopped fate from interfeering this early
           "Quoting a exact line from my evergreen queen who had a aversion on her dad ,family and relations and preferred to live a happy selfish loner as the world labelled her till her last

         *** Why do u hate this society,ur relations ,,ur family ?
                   "Well when they knew me of my love --they saw me as a harmful knife who could damage their pride --i accepted that and became the knife they saw to protect my happiness from  being destroyed by them --My love -My happiness -My world -Period "

               Not all are blessed to be that bold --many  of us are afraid that we may hurt our closed ones unknowingly  --hope our closed ones understand us and let us have our happiness sumtimes at the cost of their pride -if only it happens this world will be the most beautiful place to live rather than a place where people witness sad incidents more often than not , ,,
                  All i can wish is never say never !!

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