" Society wants me to swim in sand---They cheer in hope of my unseen tears
I have a heart --let it take me wherever it wants -Period "
--- A Writer who this world never knew but i did !!!!
What's with this society ?--i thought to myself --how does this play such a huge role in shaping up a youngster's life particularly --in most cases our wishes are confined to ourselves just because we feel affected by this monster called "Society"---Once u cross 15 --automatically you are made to succumb to a unknown external pressure called "society"--Picture this a dad wants a son to follow his footsteps --the moment the son thinks out of box and wants to become someone he wishes --even his father would be ready to accept his wishes but will not be able to with this monster called society stepping the pressure up --"How will i be able to face up to society if my son doesnt follow my footsteps "--will be the first and foremost question --In most cases its not a case of a dad or family being arrogant to ask us to follow what they want rather it is a question of what this society wants ,Atrocious it may seem but true it is .
To a certain level it is acceptable if u live by society --because do accept that it is not right to live a carefree life just because u beleive u have freedom to live life you want ---but that is a responsibility most of us know as we grow up ,,where was the need to budge for society beyond that is my question?Respect the society but dont let it rule over you--A doctor's kid is expected to be a doctor ,,a business man kid is expected to be the apparent heir ,,a teacher's kid is expected to be in teaching profession ---and i have been brought up by wonderful parents who put less pressure on me when i was young but i knew what they wanted --and i became one --but it is argumentative whether that is what my primary passion was --Somewhere this society ruins thousands of our wishes just because we give too much importance to the untold facts and unknown rules -- I remember when i was growing up i felt there were too many eagle eyes even on my dressing --that i forgot that i could have been less worried but felt pressurised always unknowingly -and i knew then i was not the only one.
The moment someone in your family comes up with a love story of his/her own then it is like the whole society is full of ears and eyes towards you --a target for humilation is found for them --a sitting duck to be targeted --and before the actual facts are set to be brought to limelight --there are 1000 theories already roaming around without facts or truths --thereby making the lives of people and families involved go through hell --and all this done without a iota of care or remorse --the sole end result is absolute wreckage --and this has been the story for years and years --nothing has been done although there has been sparks of people starting to stand against such acts --but lot less than what is required for reformation .The magnamity of a scar the society leaves on people who for no fault of theirs for the sake of just loving is ruined to such a level that they could hardly understand the fault they made which in many cases is none .
From Dressing --To Education-- To Profession -To love -- To Life Overall the journey has to be determined by you and very few people who matter to you --but what happens is society decides everything --to be even more specific --it destroys the real you --Part of reasons why there are so many sexual crimes occuring is poor awareness of real facts --just because trying to know them will be a shame in the eye of "society",Maybe im wrong but im sure im not way out of the target --I do have few friends who have showed its not impossible to live life as they wish--not caring for the society--by that i mean respecting the principles but not falling a prey to the untold rules --but still feel majority of us or been ruled by what society wants and not what we want .,love life ,dreams -nothing is left to be in our way --the biggest constraint is,always and forever will be society .
I know nothing will change anything --but events ,happenings just frustrates me no ends -all i can do is just hope and live like a quote that same wonderful person said once
" You must have courage to live a life by what your heart wishes
Otherwise you will sink in this ocean called society with no trace of u in life or after
My life - Only My Way --Always "!!
-- The person lived in the same way for the time she lived -she is no more -society never changes --i just hope it does before my time runs out -Maybe the best motto might be ---Our life Our way --Always --Period !!!!
"Missing someone shows u loved and have been loved truly"
" I Miss U Lot "--Seeing a picture with wordings "Vaibhav " of a friend --my mouth uttered ---this friend the most important friend who made me believe --"Nothing is unacceptable if u learn to accept happenings and inevitable changes "
Turn Back ur life --there will every such instance where u would keep missing sumeone --for a life journey might seem short but the path always seems long and along the way from the beginning to the end there is only one guaranteed passenger -"U"
"The first time i missed sumone was when one of my closest school frds moved to another school after my tenth standard --i cried a whole night unable to digest the truth --it took long time then to realise this is way life works --then slowly it became a habit losing people to various reasons and unable to adapt to the feeling of missing them ,,a poor college life personally complicated issues --i could never get along with the feeling of adapting to missing close people ---then came the biggest shock
Just like that in a flash mom left ---the whole word of "Missing"took a devilish turn --it seemed i coulfd have been consumed by that very feeling of emptiness--but the most important thing gets ignored because of this "empty"feeling --the real importance of the person --the memories they leave --the lessons their departures taught --the mistakes to be taken note of never to be repeated --too often the very feeling of missing sumeone makes us forget the bigger picture --the lessons being offered to resurrect ur life --the memories to be cherished --so many factors seems to be ignored for the absence of someone we loved just endlessly .
"Never love sumone too much they say "--I would rather say "Never forget sumeone u loved too much "
Yes i do miss lot of people ---old pictures make me realise how much i miss --and its hell a lot --seen my fair share of breakups ,misunderstandings and some sudden demises of few angelic people --I once cried endlessly on the feeling of missing someone --now after nearly 15 years of struggle to accept the fact that missing is inevitable and part of life .
** From the time i missed my school friend --then missing schoolmates -then to miss collegemates --then to miss my wonderful mom ---to losing the most efferevescent person of my life --i have kept missing non stop --so much so --there are no more tears left when the feeling of emptiness sets in --But all along probably have ignored the wonderful facts that came along before the abrupt end --Probably failing to appreciate the beauty of loving and being loved is what makes missing sumone all the more worse ,,tears are signs of acknowledgement of that exact feeling !!
I have never stopped missing hell a lot people in my life -my sisters stay so far away --my best friends stay so far away too -and some other people i wish was with me smile in photographs with frames and flowers around them --work ,responsibility ,social interactions all have made life lot less tougher --but old pictures ,old gifts ,old mails ,old chats ,,sumtimes old sms remind me what im missing --and im sure im not only one in this world to have that feeling --its better to have this pain than to live without anyone worth remembering to miss in life .
"Missing is part of journey that shows ur path towards your destiny --noone comes along the whole way --its just u and u only --The people whom u miss in life need to be appreciated rather than regretted for their absence ---Noone can change destiny --like that noone can erase a beautiful past --a past that made u smile happily so many times --a past that will always make u feel a proud man/lady for loving sumone truly and loved back equally and in some cases like mine more than that --future might be lonely path to travel --but with these wonderful memories it wont be a lost one --So if u miss sumone just b happy u have been lucky and hope for the best --appreciate those beautiful moments which made u feel very special .
"Missing someone is remembering someone really special --painful it maybe forgettable it will never be !!! "
" I know i will eventually get nothing out of this but that is not enuf reason to just forget my efforts in making this relationship happen in the first place "
---- That was way back in 2008 -the person was one unforgettable persons - her words still bring me goosebumps every single time i reminisce them -especially her respect for relationship despite living away from her family due to unfortunate circumstances --not for a single time till i knew this friend she uttered a word in disrespect of any one of them who left her in midway --I lived a totally different life till then i visualised a world which had only goodness and no place for such mishaps in life --for long i believed "Love will win over anything "--until i met couple of such characters in my life -Maybe it is true in the end sumtimes u have to accept "Inevitability is impossible to overcome ",,but the part up until that breaking point should not be forgotten in the haste of the moment .
Couple of days back i met a friend's elder brother --after formal enquiries i asked how is your wife and kid(he has a beautiful little daughter)--he replied --Well we have offficially applied for seperation --i was taken back --this was a person who fell madly with that girl and their relationship was more than 10 years before they married and within few yrs,,a few misunderstandings --couple of months of staying away they decided to part ways --while it is impossible for me to access the life of a married man --i was taken back by his words on her which bordered on high disrespectfulness--I had no business to talk more --but the thought of "What about the respect,,the memories ,,the smiles --the poignant moments in that relationship "--All ruined by couple of misunderstandings ?--R u kidding me --i told myself .
" I was brought up by a mother who taught me its inhuman to disrespect any relationship --she taught me always to remember the real meaning of a realationship --misunderstandings are inevitable in a long journey --but remember them as temporary stops along the way not the destination u were meant to travel with each other --I still remember her once saying
"Its impossible to know what the other person feels without being in their shoes --never be judgemental on the basis of a incident"
-- accepted with all my efforts i have struggled to implement that --but something i have always made a point to have is ---"never have hatred on anyone who i loved truly "--had my share of innumerous breakups --some by fates --some by misunderstandings --but all had a constant which could have avoided the eventuality --"ME"--maybe as years rolled by --i do understand more and more the importance of valuing a relationship-or a long standing friendship--How much pain --how much compromises --how much untold love --how much countless excited nights ---how many playful talks --how many mails --how many chats ---etc etc in making a relationship work ---yet it takes not even a second to decide it is not needed --fast paced world alright --we keep the priorities on the wrong things and forget the right ones that need our attention .
"Why dont u just leave me,,there are million people in this world if u forgot "i remember barking at a friend some years back --- She replied " Sure ,show me sumone as flawed as u ,,who talks as silly as u --who is as short tempered as u are --and more than that find me sumone who made me compromise so much to have a friendship "--I lost her and so many friends --as a 30 plus guy now i do realise how stupid i was then --Never underestimate a relationship ---nothing comes for free in this world --but happiness does --if u value the importance of every person who loved u truly --Despite anything that happens in the end always remember it is just not a good enough reason to say the realationship or friendship was meaningless --because "true love and respect will always make u a better person --breakups after all symbolises a feeling a nothingness --thats all !!
I have many times written my blogs in dedication of sumone special --this blog is a tribute to three people --my unique soulmate --my once close friend for 25 years --and my marvellous "writer friend "--i have lost them unfortunately now but again that is just not a good enuf reason to forget the magical moments i have had---the best way to pay tribute to any relationship is to be thankful that it happened ,,not regret it for moment --Breakups symbolises a feeling a nothingness --nothing more -Give a chance for people to remember u for the right reasons ---So even if u r lonely u will be never lost -now that came out perfectly from my hand as i wished --lolz --Cheers :):):)!!!
**** This blog is in no way a advertisment --I just wanted to bring to light the sincerity and struggles of a 92 year old elderly woman who takes care of orphanage home for young and old people --Special thanks to " Smt. Thuraimuga Lakshmi Ammal "whom i happened to meet on New year in her orphanage home on Jan 1 ,2013****
I have never felt as light as i did on 31st Dec 2012 and never have i felt so happy as i did on this New Year Day--We a small group of friends (Deepa Rajendran ,Priya Raju,Subhasaravan and me )all decided to have few more friends albeit a lot younger group as invites to our New Year Bash --The place we decided to go was a orphanage home "UTHAVUM ULLAM" in West Tambaram ,Chennai--We got ourselves lost few times before eventually getting to the place by noon --The moment we entered we all entered with pin drop silence --we thought no one was there --but suddenly to our surprise the moment we entered there was sound of "Happy New Year "shouts for so many kids,,nearly 100 of them --(some shouting "Happy Birthday "lolz),,it was pleasant surprise ---and soon we happened to see the owner of the home "Lakshmi Ammal "--she was so concerned about safety of kids -she had a stick in hand was so strict in taking care of them as her own kids --We had bought some cakes and chocolates on seeing which madam got angry
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| Lakshmi Ammal |
"WHY DONT U BRING BREAD ,JAM AND MILK ,SOME BANGLES , HAIR CLIPS ,--IT WOULD HELP THESE KIDS SHE SAID WITH A BIT OF ANGRY DISAPPOINTED TONE --She had a valid point --chocolates and cream cakes may affect some kids --which may lead to them having more medical expense (this was informed by her later )--maybe there were lot of things we forget in moment of tryin to do what we like -- Its important to interact with them and get to know what they wanted and what maybe of more use to them .There was something about the talk of elderly woman --it was like teaching from experience of a long life--she explained some important lessons if you decide to goto orphange homes --and we noticed some other things in that properly arranged orphange home
** Before u go to orphanage home ---discuss with them what is essentially needed
** U can deposit even Rs 100 /month in any girl or boy u wish to help by coordinating with orphanage which in future will help them in studies as they grow
** If u decide to go once --make sure it isnt the last time u visit there because it will be a shame to make those souls as a source for ur happiness for a day ---they need ur money bit --they need ur presence bit --but more than that its important u dont make them feel as orphans by never visiting them again ..
** Watch them carefully how they say their prayers before having food --how innocently they share their happiness to us strangers --how they clean the place after having the food --how they say "Thanks"to sum help u do every single time --the place where we were there was not even a fan for 100 kids sitting under a shed --yet they were seated in a proper manner not complaining one bit for the entire time we were there -"Patience"--a important lesson that we often forget at crucial moments
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| Luvely Aishwarya |
** Every one would have one talent or other --and each time they would not hesitate to show that to u --some might be ready to dance --some ready to sing --some doing mimicry--There was this one special girl called "Aishwarya" who was so sparkling in the whole group of innocent kids --danced superbly --smiled innocently --and took our hearts in a minute --the feeling of innocent happiness she gave mesmerised us to endless satisfaction that the year began in peaceful and happy manner that we rarely had encountered ,,me personally it has been almost a decade i felt this light .
** Lakshmi Ammal is 92 years old --her heart still as fresh as morning daisy ,,her wants are all for the kids to be better --for the old age people to have a peaceful life --it was all the more remarkable the lady was so dedicated despite the failings of her age --her eyes showed that the fight for goodness of people under her care has never dimmed one little bit ---no electricity --not enuf food --a broken side wall ---and more and more kids coming for care --nothing seemed to make her think even one bit negative about she being in the final twilight of her life --it was sterling stuff --inspiring that age is never a barrier --All these are sincere efforts --and if u wish to contribute in any way u want i have given below the details regarding the Home --to my heart it was done with utmost sincerity and selfless care .So if u decide to do sumthing plz go ahead without hesitation .
It was a wonderful day --one that will stay with me for years -that innocent smiles --the countless handshakes--the seemingly endless new year wishes --the innocent happy birthday wishes --those sparkling eyes --they shared their happiness -the most costliest gift anyone can give u ---to say i accepted that is a gross understatement --I saw my pals and there was same happiness in their eyes ---there is happiness spread in the world --have to find it to feel it !!!
