Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Happiness ,,,,

            When i was a toddler happiness was in everythin i did
            When i was a school kid happiness was in things i was given
            When i was a college guy happiness was in things i liked
            Now happiness is when i realise my mistakes and make sure it is my last
            Tommorow ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
                                                         Happiness can be termed as an barometer that shows the maximum  level you enjoy living this life given to you ,,Happiness to a certain level of life depended on what i was provided --then it kept changing --as a teenage guy there was so many things that gave happiness --sometimes i felt is there anything better in this world than being a teenage guy ?--The exuberance of youth always keeps u tantalisingly close to truth yet u dont realise what exactly it means till u grow bit older --just a bit :P.
                                                         Rarely did i indulge in any sports activities or interactive fields during my school life --i used to wait for time to fly away to see my mom --Nothing excited me more than her face --Nothing gave me more happiness than being with the most wonderful human being i ever was blessed to be with --and boy oh boy --wasnt she a angel who created me the most wonderful life a son could wish for --everyday was like a scene enacted from heaven --As if i was living with a human being 1000 times superior than me ,,so soft yet so fiercely driven by will --I did not have too many friends --i cared less --i had "the person who mattered most --and for sumtime the better part of 20 years of my life --time stood still --so did my happiness .
                                                          As college days sprang open --i found myself in increasingly wobbly territory --my happiness wavered from one to another without purpose --i just tried to feel happy in whatever u liked regardless whether it was what it should be --I was  non smoker ,,a non alcholic,and i respected women hell a lot to even perceive them wrongly ever --but i was making hella lot of mistakes --i cared very less whether my happiness was impacting other people in the wrong side --i had no perception but just the want to be happy in doing things that i perceived to make me happy ,So many things had so much of my time to have been done better but it just did not have enough of me --and it took some huge losses to make me realise it was not exactly the way to be happy --the feeling of a motherless life ahead made me see the real picture of what a shabby mess i was getting into just for the sake of trying to be happy by doing things my way always .
                                                         Then this phase the phase for the last 10 years goin on --slowly  realising how tough it is to feel "real happiness"--have been very lucky to have  met some absolute wonderful persons to help me  in the journey -juggled in all this years with having to go thorugh some harsh misunderstandings --a few very unfortunate mishaps --so many restless nights --so many questionable occasions which i wished gave me some time to understand the magnamity of happenings --slowly inch by inch --the hard truth of what it means to be really happy shaped up --something i never visualised for better part of 25 years of life --Happiness is not always about what u like or what u wish or what u r given rather
                        "Happiness is when u realise ur mistakes and make sure it is the last time u do that in life --It is when you feel  you can better that tiny bit a better person in life than the previous moment "
                                                       Today was personally a peacefully calm time in heart --i have done my share of rubbish silly mistakes in my life --that i have been given time to make sure not to repeat them gives me a sense of satisfaction and real happiness --and it wont be out of the way for me to say 
        "Happiness is in the end the best way u want to see urself regardless of what u like "
Sighning off with real happiness .,,,lolz
Cheers !!! 


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