" The same table which i dined with so many members now has only me
The car which i drove with so many frds now seem waiting for me and me only
Slight wrinkles --worried eyes --less hour on the mirrors than few years back
Is this because i am thirty plus guy now--is everythin of tht -or sumthing else ???
This is what i had in my mind when i just saw few carefree 20 odd year guys having fun in a roadside shop--laughing ,passing on comments -enjoying as if that moment is made for them to ruin it ,,i was wondering myself whilst i never was that type i loved it when i saw the same scenes when my friends did tht few yrs back ,why does the world seems so much a changed place suddenly ?
In reality age doesnt matter -what matters is how u accept realities !!--No joke -i have heard even my granpa at 80 describing his fantasies which made me laugh then but now i do understand probably heart never ages --body does but tht should never matter,,the next moment when u feel u cant fight for a dream then u r starting to die slowly --Thats precisely the challenge for us as every year goes by ,
Till i was in my teens i felt i lived in a dream unfazed by what was happening around me --living in heaven probably because i had a angel as my mother --life seemed nothing short of beautiful ---into the 20s it was rude awakening --the first time i witnessed the meaning of death in this world as a inevitable component in our lives shook me up badly ---Mother's passing away left me in a haze for years trying to come to terms with the reality that life has a fixed period --a period fixed by god --all the more reason for the myth that my scary questions in life were propping up one by one creating harakiri --it took a long time to realise the reality of losing sumone you love is part of living life --understanding it needed a big price and bigger lesson of valuing this life more --the beauty of ageing mattered most when i was in my latter 20's ,,where once beauty of opposite gender mattered - people mattered more now .
You can find solace in crushing realities too !!!
Probably the most important factor that matters as you age is to accept the losses around you and inevitable loneliness that one may feel --the promises that friends make to stay in touch in schools disappear when we finish schooling --the promise of stayin in touch between college mates stays maximum for a year after in college frds --then life's responsibilities pushes everyone out of their wishes --marriage is all together big institution where only a mutual comfortable person is allowed as a friend and in most cases the chances are one or two out of whole bunch of friends --frdships thrown out of window not from hearts --once friends ppl remain frds in hearts forever ,then comes family factor
Everyone feels they have the best family till they are thrown out in their own in this world --the moment you begin your quest to search yourself --is the time your family starts to finds little things straining --small little happenings become big incidents --love becomes a huge back breaker --the moment u love sumone the whole family feels restrained to believe the simple happening of happiness of two hearts --family falls apart --though here too love remains but ego's take centre stage --work pressure ,insurmountable requisites from social needs all push us beyond our boundaries beyond realms of possibilities for no fault of us as individual (All this not from personal exp but from watchin close frds --as i have not been lucky enuf to exp love :P)
But something that i firmly believe is "you can find solace in tough situations too"---my personal experience of watching some real life people grimly fighting beyond their abilities just to make the next day --fighting relentlessly against the tide --my dad still is keen to learn about life even closing on 70 with a failing physicality --all the more remarkable that nothing stops him from crossing new barriers --age is just a mere number if heart keeps goin because as i said heart never ages .
Yes its impossible to stay with childhood friends for long -yes its impossible to stop relationships from getting strained by happenings of fate and unfulfilled desires --yes the quest to search for more than what we go through pushes us far away from the expectations of people around us --life after 25 is the most diffult grim phase everyone has to grind out --the dreams --the fantasies - all seem to go through one after another --but the fire to fight all the inevitabliities never dies --because it always seems the greatest challenge to fight against something you are never in control off --every passing year helps in make us believe and trust in ourselves more --so in case if you were feeling bad for getting in wrong side of 25 --dont feel bad --u r surely in safer ground alrite--Way to go alrite !!!
I loved reading this one....I so much miss old days, but then life teaches a lot every day and life is all about moving on and learn new lessons and make new memories, not just remain stuck to a particular phase...
ReplyDeleteVery true Richa -- I felt the same while writing the same--Thanks for reading :)!!!
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