True Love Needs Our Ego and Anger To Be Little Porous :)!!!!

  Dedicated to the  few beautiful souls i miss being together in life but there is still time :)!!!!!

     " Every soul is beautiful in its own way --- just that not every one close knows it true beauty "

                     (Been a long while since i blogged so kindly adjust the flaws:P)
                                       
                                                      If somebody tells you that life isn't interesting --just ask them to sit down and write down the number of people they could remember meeting in their whole life --because frankly noone could write down the entire list of people they meet in life ---We meet lot of people --many remain as strangers we don't remember ,,some remain as known people we meet in life but don't become close enough --few only select few become people who will love from our heart because our hearts choose them not our minds '
                                                      
 An Incident with a ever positive person who always remains my inspiration !!!
                                                      Many summers ago (Should be atleast a decade ago ,makes me feel so old :P)one lovely day happened to be in a conversation with  this my "ever inspiring friend" who at that moment of life had virtually no one in life to fall back .I never had her maturity and she was younger to me but matured than me in life --learnt a lot from her as a person ,Our conversation was like the following (even though i dont remember my nonsense i remember her words always :p)

Me --  Seriously don't you feel weird ,,this point of life i don't see you with anyone other than your books and pen (She was a wonderful writer )
Frd -- You maybe right but what u see now is what it is but what it was not before  --i had people ,i had friends -i truly have loved few people from hearts --just that right now  we  are busy ignoring  each other  childishly now  :)
Me - Really ?? Are all ignoring u or is it u ignoring few ?
Frd -- Hmm you know this heart is a funny thing --it can't love everyone my eyes sees --but the people it loves not even my eyes can deny seeing when it wants !!!
Me -- ????
Frd --  Someday you will know Shanmu ---Nothing in life is beautiful as the people our heart truly loves --its a pity that we have our anger ,ego put a mask to that feeling temporarily but that mask is always a temporary one --nothing can put a mask to our true love on people close to us ,Love will prevail eventually .
Me ---- Gud (I just recorded the conv in my heart maybe to revisit someday --i did today because i have had my fair share of ups and downs with people in last few years ).
                                                
                                                     Yesterday while going through my previous google chats and mails accidentally i became interested to see how many close people i still have that i have had few years ago --and it was apparent that time has withered one by one for various reasons away from me ,fair enough there are rights and wrongs everywhere doesnt matter --but i just got this conversation in mind that made me realise the true fact 

                                  " True love  needs our  ego and anger to be little porous"
  
                                                      In this wonderful journey called life we never know what's next but what we do know is the people we love will always be people we love -nothing would change that -no amount of false hatred ,no amount of needless ego propping up ,no amount of money difference could kill our care and affection for people we truly love in life .If you stutter in knowing to choose between your mind and soul then just remember following 

                               "This 350 gms within us called as heart is what determines our life as whole 
                                 Often it is a war between what our mind wants and our heart wishes 
                                  whilst mind makes a million permutations to determine what is right and wrong
                                  our heart needs one factor ---"LOVE"

Maybe someday we will wake up knowing that life is not about our anger and ego --our happiness is about not being impatient with people we love but to be more patient with them .After all we are all flawed yet each one of us is unique and beautiful in their own way .

With hope maybe i might reconcile with few of beautiful souls someday soon  and wishing you all the  same  :):)!!!!
                                                                   

" Happy 40 th Wedding Anniversary to two wonderful human beings i knew in life --My parents :) "

        "There is no one as endlessly loving  and caring as our parents -- To the great king and angel queen  i was born to on their 40 th Wedding Anniversary "
               

   My Mother,
                              The one big regret i have in life is i could not see my mom getting old --beautifully old ---it is the most wonderful relationship in the world that no word can express poetically enuf --Sometimes u wish life had a pause moment with her because she creates so many beautifully memories that we don't understand that we are part of special bonding that would give countless goosebump memories till our last .
                              Life with her was the happiest part of my life ---that angelic smile --that caring cuddle of hair when i was sleeping ---those are just things mother do which no one else do ---she cooked --she taught me --she made me laugh --she had no enmity towards anyone --she was the angel i saw everyday --the angel whom i could touch play hold her hand and walk whenever i wanted .She played with me --she was and will always be the shining light that will keep flickering before me in the darkest of times --beyond every thing the one thing i admired was the respect ,the admiration ,the unbinding love she had towards my father --i remember her sayin many times the exact words my father would utter few minutes later in different places ,,their level of understanding was beyond belief ,,her love towards us was unparalled and beyond words .
                             A brave lady who made even death hang its head in shame for coming to take her life early  --a woman who  symbolised grit in the most testing circumstances even when she knew it was her time to go --called us and said nothing but "take care of dad "---I knew it was just true love out of extreme understanding for her better half .In short she lived a life which became a lesson for us who knew her .So Short yet amazingly magical .

My Father ,
                             I have seen  this wonderful man get old though so much so he is sure to see me getting old too :P,Jokes apart every father is the first inspiration to every son out there ,,my father was no different to me --he still remains my biggest inspiration --beyond being a sucessful business man with fame coming along it --nothing went to his head --he was always a man who could not express his love in words like my mom -like all the fathers in the world --but he always knew when i would fall he would be there to help me out ---to be there when im lost for direction in life i have his words to redirect me --a strict person to the core but a lovable man like none seen in the world ---a man of little words but with endless love towards his children .
                            Some years back when doctors  had warned us a 48 hour time deadline to get over for my dad --he called us and said "Dont worry --Nothing will happen to me ,,i have duties your mother left me to complete --i will not leave until i have completed  all her dreams and wishes ",and he made sure mom saw all the dreams she wished to achieve through his eyes .

                                          To two people who were the epitome of understanding --to two people who not only gave me life ---gave me everything i have today ---to two people who i will never be ever to repay for all that they have done to me in life ---to two people who showed mutual love is the ultimate feeling the world --to two people with whom i have had countless happy memories --happy 40 th Wedding Anniversary --Love u Mom --i know u are watching in happiness --u would have to wait hopefully for a long time to see ur better half in heaven :P --love u both endlessly (Sumday I hope i become a parent to know how beautiful it is to feel to be like u both !!!))!
                          
                    
                                      

Life !!!

                                " Life is the only gift in the world which comes with a unknown  time limit "

(Dedicated to the wonderful souls who keep working non stop for everyone to be happy except them )
                                                       
                                                                I guess it won't be out of place if i said irrespective of our ages the little child in each of us never grows old --only thing is we are constrained to even talk about it to our loved ones --reason being as always petty issues like  society, responsibility etc.

The Beautiful "Past"!!!
 Ever wondered where these scenarios in life went --just press the rewind button sumwhere this would have happened in all our lives especially the kids of 80's and 90 's not the modern one's who are just tech savy brilliant and nothing else .

*** The times during rain  we would sit in front of the house with our family and have groundnuts with smiles and fun chat.
*** The beautiful summer vacation with family where we would prepare for the trip weeks before to have all our dreams 
*** Sundays when we would hear balloon sounds and run and pick up the colour we like and play with it with our siblings 
***Almost  having a sound  sleep  yet  knowing  the beautiful cuddling of our mother on our forehead .
*** The birthdays with new dresses ,the auspicious days with us looking forward to the countless special programs .
*** The School day functions with endless fun with smile ,food and eventually returning home late to feel as a hero .
*** The times when we used to score less and go to mom fearing dad only to  end up being screwed up by both  
*** The times we used to run after our first crush knowingly that they will never ever remember you as someone they saw in their lives 
***  The time we went out with opposite gender in a group feeling it to be as a first date --- unparalled childish happiness 
*** The little surprises we give our close circle during special occasions birthdays or weedends etc-- the childish fun of seeing their sudden happiness always left a wonderful memory for life.

                       Those times just get buried as we get older with every new responsibility. 

 Life Now !!
And Fast forward life to now ppl in the late 20,s and 30's the general feelings for  us is like

*** I  have to be responsible about everything in life ,I'm not a child anymore
*** Birthdays are just another day in life ,there is nothing special abt it anymore ,,not on our birthdays neither it is for our closed circle.
*** Can't take a vacation for the next 3 years --have to save now itself 
*** Should book tickets to see mom and dad  for this  diwali or christmas 
*** No time to see friends or make a call even on weekends 
*** No time to sit and talk with our wife/kids
*** Have to work overtime to meet all ends up 
*** Have to buy a house and a car to satisfy the society and the relatives 
*** Have to plan to earn for next 25 years to meet the housing loans ,personal loans and what not .
                                                                      
                                                  Let me ask the simple question even i ask myself to no proper answers ,
Why do we live a life where we can't let our childish wishes every now and then ,After all we don't live for our loans ,,we don't want to know our parents suffered of our physical absence during difficult times ,we don't have to make our friends feel bad during their tough times and many of us still long deep inside our hearts to celebrate or to be part of celebration on birthdays ---our bodies age but our hearts never does -and within every one of us there is a child that wishes you to every now and then not become so responsbile and lost.                
                                                  Life in your past and present has one common factor that underlines everything ---"YOU" ---Its never late to change what you are going through ---forget the problems ,responsibilities thrust upon you (it was there before you and it will be there long after you are gone:P:P ) -just enjoy being yourself because there will never ever be one like you .

 As Always a quote i read sumwhere 
"Life is really simple --it is us who try to make it as complicated as possible !!!!

  
                                                   
                              

                                      
                                                     



                                             

 


 

Over Expectations --- >Posessiveness --- >Disappointments --- >Lost Happiness !!!

                         " When over expectations barge in --real happiness slowly barges out "
                                                                
                                                                I guess most of us would have gone through a real life experience with someone in life --that we feel for a short span of time as if this life is too short to spend time with this person ---but suddenly as time passes by and we get close with them we start to feel something missing --something slowly feeling different ---while we search for the right answer the relationship turns bit sour due to some reason and ends up with a unanswered  question  with that  beautiful soul " Why something that appeared heavenly had to end up suddenly like a flower being blown away by a cyclone "

Many  Years Back ,
                                                                I had a sister like a friend who was one year younger to me who i met suddenly to feel instantly a happiness of meeting someone i probably missed so long in life --someone seemingly with my same wavelength --same sense of humour --same and more of what i wished i could be ---it was some of the best times i spent with her --the childish fun ,,the endless pulling down each other --for some time she was so close to me that i thought i had a unborn sister with me for life --until something started changing --there were needless fights --arguements ---childish topics taken seriously and i was the one who was starting to feel lot disappointed ---for her not being the person i thought she was ---i had sleepless nights --questioning why she could not be the person i expected her to be ---that single thought actually was the catalyst that slowly buried a beautiful relationship because of one thing above everything ---my unwanted "Over Expectation" of wanting her to be someone else than the person i felt so connected in a instance ,

       "Painful memories are sometimes beautiful memories you desert with wonderful souls because of a demon called "Over -Expectations "

                                                                 In real we never know when this journey of ours will end --but what makes this journey so wonderful ,memorable and worth all the struggle is the beautiful souls our heart chooses our of happiness to be our  brothers ,sisters, friends ,and most importantly our life partner .The time we spend in this world might be limited but such souls fill our lives with unlimited joy --unless we all find a way to a  sleeping demon in each of us --"Expectations "--When we get close with someone our expectations sky rocket into "over" territory so much so we start to get possesive about them --its a download spiral from there --leading to countless disappointments -ending up in us searchin for real happiness that the relationship promised to us in the beginning.

                                                                Long  back i remember walking along with a inspirational friend of me whose words  as time goes by seems more and more like a shining beacon during my dark times

              " I have had countless disappointments in life -im a motherless child -a daughter deserted by a heartless father --yet i found  beautiful love with people i met in life -some of them ended abruptly  ---yet i never feel burdened by those pains in my heart because every relationship that has ended for me has taught me a lesson -the biggest lesson i learnt is always have a tiny little gap between the person u love most  ---a small distance always that will always make you understand your happiness ends when you forget that distance by our high expectations --there starts the disappointment which ends in lost happiness--i never have high expectations because 

                 "Not everyday you wake up to see a rainbow but when you see it make sure it is being watched by a happy you "

                                                    
        
             



























                                                                  

Follow Your Heart --It Will Lead You To Your Dreams !!

           "Life is the only place where you can live your dreams and you don't have endless time to do that -  Follow your heart they will lead you to your dreams  "
                                         
                                                       Recently i happened to have a casual conversation with a known frd whose brother had completed 12 th and had passed out with 80 percent marks ,i just quote down our conversation 
  
          Me-- So how did your brother fare in his exams ?i hope all went well
         Frd -- Ya buddy by God's Grace he passed out in flying colours ,he secured 80 %
          Me -- Great ,What Next ?What does he want to do ?
         Frd  -- We already planned for him to study Mech Engg in (he mentioned a reputed college name ) ,so we will put him there.
          Me  -- So that is what he wants also right ?
          Frd   -- Me,Papa and mom all decided he should study this couple of years back ,,i think he wants this too ,,its a good college , he will get good job and get settled in life .After all we need a good name in society and setttled life na (Saying that he broke into a huge laugh tapping on my shoulder ).
           Me -- All i could give him was a uneasy smile with a troubled thought in mind dating back couple of decades back 
                  
        Year 1998 sometime( when life was wonderful with that unforgettable Sharjah Storm from Tendulkar --and not least about twelfth results :P)--i remember having a conversation with few frds when entrance marks were out (the NEET then ).

        Randomly i quote the dialogues that i could remember that was spoken around me  then 

" Marks are out now i can be a engineer as my whole family wanted "
"I have got enough marks to apply for doctor as ppl around me wished"
"I dont have enough marks to get into college my father wanted me too "
"I will go to the college couple of you go to " and then i was asked what was i goin to do 
"Mech Engineer as my parents wished "

     
                                         Almost two decades later when i asked this guy what his brother wanted to do ---he's answering that "We already planned for him for a seemingly settled life and good name of the society "--Amazing nothing has changed the place i live around because of this rotten ,dead useless "SOCIETY"--I did not think then nor did i hear from one person then was what he really wanted to become .It has always been about society determining our future and ruining our childhood dreams .
                                        My parents never forced to me to chose engg --i was a abject failure in mechanical engineering though i passed out for name sake - Almost twenty years later i know i never wanted to do engineering because i was never good at studies,i loved something else in my life but i felt not being a loya; son to wonderful parents would leave me guilty for life when one word to my parents would have allowed me to go in search for my dreams . After all life doesn't gives you many opportunities in life .I remember one of my besties  quoting long time

    " In Life there will be a moment when you have to make a jump in faith towards your untold
      childhood dreams --Faith because even if you fail you will keep trying to reach that destination 
      someday ,somehow--Thats the purpose of life ! "
                      
                                     I hope sincerely someday someone i meet few years down the line will say boldly the lines "he will become what he wants to"-- after all there is no joy in hearing and enjoying  something you so dearly want in life .

"Your Identity should always be what you want to be ---not what people around you wish you to be 
People who love you from heart will always allow you to follow yours" !!!

Cheers !!

                                         
     
                    
                               

                                           
         

Women's Day --- Wish the Society I live could realise they are the major reasons we live ,love and smile !!!!!

"Just relive the most poignantly beautiful moments in your life --the chances of that involving a lovely mother ,a playful sister ,a caring bestie who happens to be a woman ,a smiling girlfrd or a caring simple yet kind better half ,and for many their beauitful unique little angel daughter giving him countless unforgettable moments -Woman are not only integral part of our lives --they are the reasons why we exist in this world -Without them there isn't life --with them by side everyone of us are givien the opportunity to enjoy life to the fullest --Dedicated to all the wonderful woman i met in my life specially to my mother who not only gave me life ---but showed me what is life !!!!

  Many years back i remember talking with a wonderful woman who was always like a mentor to me in life who explained me in simple but unforgettable manner the silent sufferings a woman undergo

            " So ---tell me whats so special  about being a woman buddy "--Mines was meant to be just a irritable question  to play with a soul i rarely saw get irritated by anything in life --her reply then i never understood but as i grew old i got to know how much she really meant that day with her reply (shes no more but her memories live with me forever )

           "My Dreams Have wings yet im not able to fly --not even for a single minute 

             Being Woman is the best thing i always felt Buddy --but you know the sad part is I'm                never allowed to enjoy that feeling in this world "

 

Most of your goosebump reasons will have them as a unforgettable part --yet the society i live has not been a safe one for them to search their happiness or dreams without keeping eyes around them --i remember one of closest frds in girls saying to me painfully

           "Its damn hard to work in a office where some  people  dont see your face and talk "

Those words showed how hard it is for a girl to live her passion ---the eagle eyes never stopped staring at what they wanted to look at not caring about the voices of their strong hearts which  yelled in silence at them saying 

                      "Stop looking at her like that --she also has me ---a heart just like you do "

I'm a guy -yet i feel ashamed seeing a painful news every now and  then propping up showing how they are tortured to death ,butchered for no fault of theirs ,jewels stolen out of greed --the fault all those women did was being a woman --It pains me so much because I owe a lot to some wonderful woman ever imaginable .

      

             Born to the most wonderful woman i ever knew in life --the only human being i saw closest to God in real life --My Mother --She was not just a woman --She was a epitome of the word woman in my life-- A selfless ,ever caring ,humble ,ever lovable human being as all the mothers in the world are - With her around I never knew as a kid that i was growing up in a society which would eventually become less and less safer for a woman to live her dreams fearlessly.

            

I'm just a common man like million of us whose life was shaped by countless woman ---Son to a great mother who worked tirelessly all her life to give meaning to my life -Brother to a caring sister who i grew up with lot of smiles intervened by some tough moments --brother to some wonderful souls i found along the way --bestie to  one of the best human beings i knew in life --and husband to the only girl i loved in my life --(hopefully if lucky  sumday a father of a little angel :P).

Woman are the shining beacons of our life --our duty and responsbiltiy is to let them shine the brightest --for when they shine bright this world will always be a wonderful place to live ,love and smile .

Happy Women's Day  !!

              *'

              

Happy 58 th Birthday Mom -Love You Always !!