The case of Miss Aruna Shaubang --there's a lesson for all to be learnt from her life

Aruna Shaubang then and now in semi coma stage !!


                             "Never give yourself a chance to accept revenge as a solution to anger "  
                                ARUNA SHAUBANG --i know this name about 1 yr or so back -- one of the most painful stories i have read in my life --a story about a hard working girl --who came from below poverty family and paid the ultimate price and the worse part is shes still suffering after 38 years!!!--i found some news of her that i could not even take my mind off ,the person who brutally raped her and left her in a dog chain in a bad state and left her to  semi coma is working in a hospital nearby ,,A guy named Sohanlal,, he left her in semi coma stage and brain dead state then for his supposed "revenge ",,shes now 61 ,,,(still survived by KEM hospital nurses and doctor )
                                I read the news that the guy had changed his name and is still working in some hospital after serving a term of 7 years ,because he was charged of "robbery of jewels"  ,talk about law taking it course probably its for only people with money ,,read that the case was not challenged against the convict because no one of her family wanted to fight for her or take care of her ,not to blame them either ,(poverty sumtimes makes people helpless leavin no options)  ,,she was abandoned for good ,,and now 38 years after  i read the shocking sad  news that her  well wishers on seein her suffering for so long requested for "Euthanasia "--its just harder to digest that the reason for the action was revenge by a mindless guy , it has been revealed shockingly the guy still lives sumwhere closeby working and living a normal life ina  hospital -how in the wide world is it fair?? - this wonderful lady has been in bed like a baby ,in semi coma  for close to 4 decades,,all the more reason that we should do our bit in making sure such things never occr in our surroundings
                               There was sumthing i felt heart warming in the final part though  --i read about the  journalist named PINKI VIRANI who had taken so much pain to know abt Madam Arunas case --had so much tried to help her ,,read that she has offered with her husband to do final rights to Madam Arunas inevitable  death if and when it happens ,In a country where appreciation and fame are the masks for everyone wish ,,its truly worth mentioning that there are people like Mrs.Pinki who has taken part of her life in tryin to help a wonderful lady get noticed for the misfortune she had in her life ,,
                                Revenge is the worst expression of anger ,,yet when the mind is not allowed to think it seems the best form of avenging a humiliation or embarrasment ,,in reality --its just few moments of madness that seperates from havin a normal life and one like Madam Aruna ,,even worse is the life of that guy Sohanlal ,,if at all i dont want to be one person in this whole world it will be that guy --his moment of madness ,,his form of revenge has put a person brain dead for nearly 40 years ,a lady who came out of her house at 18 to work out of poverty and that to in a noble proffesion like nurse ,cant imagine how much guilt that guy is having every day to relive that moment again and again,,
                              We would have situations where we would feel our anger will be best exhibited by takin some form of revenge ,,,but like this example revenge never does any good to anyone ,,it ends up with undeniable pain,,guilt till life and ignominous scars in our characters which will nevr leave till our time runs out ,,im have had this urge to do sumthin against sum ppl who left me stranded in the middle on few occasions ,,but sumhow i preferred personal agony and silence than out and out revenge ,,,reading such kind of stuffs makes me think revenge is nothing but a waste of energy which extracts plenty of agony ,tears and blood ,,probably we will be faced with more situations where it might be the only solution ,,but i do sincerly hope and do sincerly request that whilst u may u have anger which is human nature ,,never allow this thought of revenge to cross u ,,sumwhere if u have been right ---fate will prove that u have been so to that particular person --never have revenge  as a option because its not even worth to be a option --its sumthin that has to be sent to trash forever
                           For the love of  our lives--- let this wonderful life of Madam Aruna be the one of the kind and never wish to see anyone or any news as of hers in my life ,,not only in pain but in shame to know one of our human kind inflicted such a shameless act on  a fellow human being for his moment of satisfaction ,,and for his urge for revenge ,,every time u have the urge of that word ,,just rememeber this case(to me the guy is just living because god wants him to relive his shame every day than to die )
                          As far as my tribute to  this wonderful human being who has suffered so much for no fault of hers -"U have opened the eyes of many and will so in future sadly through your pains but it needs such pains to make people understand hard issues in life ,,, Im sure people will learn a lot from your life ,,May God be with u always and give u peace wherever u go from here  "

Learning to listen to others perspectives is a art worth learning !!!

                                  

                                 “Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.”

                                             This is what i got in mind -when a frd of mine said sumthin today morning that did not shock me but starltled me moreover for my reluctance to accept a frank outspoken comment as i was sumone who had swimmed long enuf in this societies rigid policies to allow sumone to have a frank opinion on a sensitive issue ,,On a whole i felt i m just a mere reflection of what this society has made us

                                             Had a very odd chat with one of my school mates in google talk ---had some funny messages exchanged initally when all of a sudden the topic diverted to something far more sensitive--He suddenly said to me "Dude whats the need to have temples ?dont u think that God is everywhere -I do believe god is everywhere -why waste money in building temples ?Now this frd of mine works in a highly reputed company, was a NIT passout ,,,a god believer alright --sumone who hits the nail on his head with his comments ,sumone who never does a cheap thing to make peoples head turn ,i was not taken back by his remark because it had some truth in it ,i was unable to digest the fact of him sayin sumthin against the guidelines our society has allowed us to grow and never allowed to go beyond it ,i felt it was purely a individuals perspective which our society never stops to hear ,,,

                                                 Its not that this was the only issue that irked me regarding we giving respect to others perspectives ,i was unable to attend a marriage of my frd that ended with his now wife not ready to listen my reasons and ended the frdship i had-just to quote a personal incident ,,,i had been guilty in one or two other instances --i regret them now but time never stops for anyone or gets rewinded to rectify a blunder,,,But this doesnt apply to our family members in most cases --Our dads scolding  us despite not listening our side of stories ,,our loved ones taking us wrong ,,,our best frds having issues with the same ,,all doesnt matter --therein lies the solution

                                               Try what may the difference between getting angered by a individuals perspective and listenin to them properly is just in "few extra minutes" -Even our Epics -Mahabharat and Ramayana depict that not listening to others might lead to bad things  --by no way im sayin listening to other perspectives is the solution to any sensitive stuff,,but its just essential to give ourselves those extra precious moments to judge whether we are right  to take a call in our own terms or settle to a one on one talk to end any potential rift

                                               " Its always worth to listen than to argue --arguement does no good --it ends whats good" ---In cases of our loved one we are always ready to spend those extra few minutes or give ourselves a opportunity to speak and clear any stuff ,,,that doesnt happen with people who are less important,,the number of people who are that important for us are  very less ,,but the people who are outside that circle is countless ,our patience will be tested no ends ,,but the only way to stop the ever nearing feeling of" hatred" towards sumone and  keep at bay our "inevitable ego "- is by giving ourselves an opportunity to learn the opposite parties perspective

                                               I took the word of the friend and for once felt the importance of listeningto others perspective is a art that has to be learnt for our society to move forward --Its us who form the society so its essentially our duty to make the changes need ,,,And learnin this art is a essential one alrite ,,im sure u will agree too,

See ya soon!!

"Frustrations" - sumthing that has to be conquered to realise our dreams "

          " No matter how frustrated we are ,god has not asked us to do  the impossible"--one of my most respected teachers told me this many years back,,i just got this in mind to write a blog about sumthin that i found no way of leaving out for time being now                

                            At a time of very tough self questioning and very examining situations of recent times made me say to a frd  "Buddy i feel lonely and lost ,,,i dont know where im heading ,,i seem in a heady mess --i see no reason to see life otherwise"--as i already said in one of my blogs im not a pessimist but a laidback optimist ,,but incident after incident ,,stress after stress ,,failure after failure ,,finally made me go to brink of sayin this to the person,,i was very frustrated with life --i was left to battle life on my own ,,,and i felt it was not wrong to say so 

                           That person ,,a very silent but strong charactered person who was sumone whom i never gave more respect than sumone known ,,,listened to me patiently ,,he knew he was not the first choice person i would goto  ,,he knew because i had no one really to talk and wanted to say few things to feel better i talked with him,,looked at me and said with a stern look,,look buddy i dont know much about you to help u,,but i can say only this" if u r lost dont worry u may still find alternative  route to your destination"

                           The chat got over ,,nothin much since i was not a revealer of my heart much to unknown persons --it just ended there---i was just thinkin incidents ---it was excruciating tough time --hard to say anything positive ,,because i knew certain things can never change ,it got me scared and worried ,,,after all its human nature how hard u try ,,,ur mind and heart are two different worlds which coexist in very few things in life ,pointing my situation to lack of support or communication from my close circle was merely a fact to divert the reality that i was not prepared to conquer a big demon which has started to acquire huge porpositions --a demon called "Frustration"

                          My frustration recently  grew very badly so much so i almost broke up with two of my best friends ,,before sanity returned ,,Right now i cannot see my destined direction,,,every direction seems to have a road block --every minute seems a hour ,,every frd seems pushing me into the door of darkness where there is no return ,,,everythin personal seems doomed--close to a deathbell ,,,but sumwhere deep inside there seems a desire burning --a desire to stand alone if fate made me so,,,,a desire to find a way to live with unfairness ,,a desire to accept the truth im one of the guys sitting on burning deck "but that desire seems to be a flickering light --in utter darkness-maybe it might be the only "Ray of Light " to find my alternative route to my destination and dreams  --JUST MAYBE"

                       If i leave my frustations to rule me --i will lose that little desire too --my only lifeline now seems that---i dont know whether i will find that desire but i know i have to conquer this seemingly endless frustrations to realise that ,,its not that simple ,,life offers you so many perspectives that you start to find the wrong reasons for refusing to accept truths 

                      No life is rosy from day one to the final chapter--there are many demons that we have to conquer to realise that there are many things one has to achieve --the dreams ,,the wishes ,the life we wish,the lifepartner we need to choose --everythin can be easily ruined by a few untamed demons --for me this is one thing i know tht sure is ,,im sumone who always believed tht life will even out sumwhere to be fair --its tht we need to be patient enough to see tht --easily said than done --but there are examples in the world ---in our family to prove it ,,,finally want to quote what sumone whom i respect even now whos is no more now said to me many years ago

       "Frustrations is never a option for me  because it has the power to change my opinion"(U were always right jaan --luv ya always )--I wish i had tht determination-but im sure i can conquer that in sumway --as i said life evens out sumwhere !!!!

Signing off with wishes that there are only conquerors in this world of such demons  ,,wink :)

To people like Swami Ramdev - Please Stop Cheap Publicity !!!

                                    *      To begin with until recently i knew nothing much abt Swami Ramdev --But day in day out newspapers ,,news channels as per the norm of our times now--kept flashing his name ,,saying hes going on fasting ,,hes taking on the government ,,hes against corruption,,hes against everythin !!!!i then went into his records googling information about him and reading articles written about him and criticism also agains him,,now i have nothing against him ,,but i quote some of the points seen in many articles and wikepedia too,,i have written below that my personal views ,u can judge upon how we are being made a fool for a individuals cheap publicity,,

                     

In February 2011, he gave the following steps for eradication of black money.^[17] :

1. Withdrawal and demonetizing of Rs. 500 and Rs. 1000 currency notes - so as to avoid misuse of unaccounted money and quick arrest of the entire locally circulated black money, bribing, and fake note traffic.
2. Agree to and accept the U.N. Convention against Corruption – pending since 2006.
3. Death penalty provision for the corrupt persons in Indian Penal Code.
4. Access, monitor and disrupt payment gateway servers enabling corrupt people to manage money in tax havens.
5. Scrutinizing accounts of people having credit/debit cards of foreign banks without any foreign work/relation.
6. Disabling operations of any bank from a tax haven country

                 Now any educated person or knowledgable person will know all the above points are close to height of  impossiblity or close to stupidity ,anyway to take  -he wants death penalty for corrupt person!!!--i have not seen a more brilliant statement --thank god he did not say he will preside over the penalty --if we do what he asks then Indian population will be left with just  20 percent or less of what it is,,Please think before what u r sayin sir ,,if u think tht was odd ,,wait for more ,,i will quote more below

Views on AIDS and sex education

In December 2006, Swami Ramdev claimed to cure diseases such as AIDS and cancer through yoga and ayurvedic drugs sold by his Divya Yoga Mandir Trust. He also went on to suggest that sex education should be replaced by yoga, which was the way to AIDS awareness, prevention and cure.^[59] "Sex education in schools need to be replaced by yoga education," Ramdev told reporters at the state health minister's residence. As a consequence of these public statements he was sent a cease and desist order by the Indian Union Health Ministry to avoid making such claims in the future, and the civil society threatened legal action.^[60] In response, Ramdev retracted his statement and said the claims were not directly his, but those of patients who practiced yoga

  ^{*-- Note how he has tried for another rubbish statement for cheap publicity--he wanted sex education to be replaced by yoga education and he retracted it later --r u seriously alright --do u know what u r talkin about --how can yoga be related to sex?and he has gone worse saying  its better ,,and then even in his retracted statement tries to make the point that he may not be saying but it is true ---ridiculous again for cheap publicity}

 

Claims of curing cancer

Other press reports quoted him as claiming to have a cure for cancer of the breast, liver, prostate, uterus, pituitary gland, brain tumors and leukemia by practicing the seven breathing exercises. In a residential camp held in Yog Gram, Haridwar during 19–25 June 2008, several cancer patients stepped forward to recount first-hand stories of their successful bouts with blood, prostate and breast cancer using Pranayam or breathing exercises.^[62] Swami Ramdev has claimed having documented proof of his successes, but has failed to provide any to the media or the Ministry of Health.

 *  Again he claims to be close to living god i suppose ---he has not seen one patient sufferin from cancer -I doubt whether he knows the meaning of the disease -i personally have seen people and seen doctors explaining whats what in cancer and this borders along the line of ridiculous stupidity ---again he has tried to turn heads only for cheap publicity 

 

Views on homosexuality

In July 2009, when Delhi High Court gave a verdict under decriminalizing homosexuality in Delhi, the swami called a press conference and said, "this verdict of the court will encourage criminality and sick mentality. This kind of thing is shameful and insulting to all of us. We are blindly following the West in everything. This is breaking the family system in India. Homosexuals are sick people, they should be sent to hospitals for treatment. If the government brings this law, I will take this matter to the streets of Delhi in protest."^[63]

 *   Height of nonsense i presume ---he says homosexuals are "sick people",,lesbians ,,homosexuals--are not sick people ,,its just tht they are people who have different   feelings --thats all ,,its not a disease to be treated ,, ,,"which hospital treats such people sir????The worst crap i have ever seen written or said --absolute wholly crap of a statement ,,anyone reading this will accept if not other statement but this surely --height of stupidity!!

*  Hes been linked with BJP for some time and no wonder seein the BJP cursin the governement  seeing this as a opportuniy to hit at government(im not Congree follower or Against BJP but just saying the reasoning for the support from BJP is expected) --I for one personally believe tht the govt acted rightly as such mad acts should not be persisted ,,and i dont for one percent believe that this person does things for betterment of society ,,it seems hes so keen on publicity --Cheap publicity 

* There is no firm solution as this "Swami "says and frankly the governement is not answerble to every individual--THE STARTING POINT TO END THIS CORRUPTION SHOULD COME FROM US,,THE PEOPLE,,THE SOCIETY ,,WE SHOULD SOW THE SEED-- OUR FOLLOWING GENERATIONS WILL FOLLOW --rather than following such mindless statements ,what we are trying to do is give in to these type of individuals cheap publicity --hes not sumone who needs to be worshipped or followed like Gandhiji--he has so many flaws in his statements --he doesnt deserve to be followed 

  

*Im one among the million common man ,,he has achieved to turn my attention by his statements (he went to say govt  cheated him --cmon sir give us a break !!!) we can follow what hes good at --hes a yoga guru thats all ,,ONE MAN CANT REVOLUTIONISE THIS SOCIETY-and surely not such type of man --its like the contribution to revolutionise should start from us not from such fake characters whose primary and seemingly pinpoint intention is to achieve fame and publicity in the cheapest way possible ,

* I do respect Anna hazare -hes a respected social activist unlike this person--he did many things for a village --he was in indian army --hes different --he had done sumthin for the nation ,,for changing  a normal village into a model one --he was awarded Padma Bhushan --he has credentials to make a point and has to be respected but  that too should not act as a example for such people with poor credentials on welfare of society --i mean the history of such a person shows how wavering his mind his and how instable his remarks have been  and he has done nothing to reform the society to be taken note off,,For me personally im not gona hear anythin about him --and give in to his need for cheap publicity ,,i hope people who read this also doesnt 

  

  Its our India --we know how to give our contribution to our nation and not give in to such poor cheap publicities made by such petty mind people

We can reform our society we dont need such people to fool us in the name of it (Im sorry if i hurt the followers of the person but this is my personal view entirely )

See ya soon

  

Friendship is sumthing to be cherished for life !!!

 Dedicated to my best frd on his birthday today and to all my friends to whom i owe bit of my life!
                                 
                            "All that glitters is not gold --an old sayin
                             Sumthin that never glitters but is worth more than anythin in the world -Frdship "
   Jun 5 -- midnight India time ---i was celebrating the birthday of my best frd with his wife and his brother --U might ask whats the big deal ?let me finish it ,,,hes livin in London --I live in Chennai--the birthday was celebrated through internet and i never felt i was viewin sumthin infact i felt i was being with them and enjoyin the occasion,after college life we never were together to even hangout ,,,we rarely met,,then he soon left abroad ,,its a absolute tribute to him to tolerate a damn borin,,sumtimes volatile ,,normal meticulous character like me for close to 15 years ,,the reality is thats how most friends are ,,,there is sumthing abt being a frd --its unique and incomparable to be a friend--because in my life that word has been  the most loyal companion to me .
                         The year 2000 is one i can never forget --the birth of a millenium -the world was celebratin wonderfully , all people wishing their friends everywhere in world ,,,that day i got 2 calls from my frds --one was from this frd of mine who is the inspiration for this blog --and another mutual frd between us ,,thats all ,,,i felt "thats all" man u have lived for 20 odd years and u have 2 ppl all this while --sucks man ,,was a broken guy that day ,,many new years have dawned yet that year remains one of the darkest hours of my life that haunted me for sumtime .
                     That all changed when my wonderful mom left me in complete distress and disarray of myself,,thats when my life changed ,,,i still remember how tht day of my mom passing i could not get into my house by the presence of so many college and school frds --it was tribute to how great a person my mom was --and to a part a shameful truth of mine exposed of how mean and selfish i had been all my life --there were people who were waiting for my acceptance of them as frds yet i never opened the doors ,,it needed a amazing ,incomparable ,,unforgettable and the purest form of soul leaving this world  to break open my doors and see the world

With school mates -happier times !

                Then after that period it was just flooded with friends ,,everyone i met i wanted to make them as friend , i got back to track by holding the hands offered by many friends after moms demise ,,so i thought here i will live happily ever after with such friends--Not to be so ---it became soon obvious that it is not possible to have forever innumeorus friends -- through the same door i opened long back the ppl went out for reasons unknowingly and some knowingly --but nowhere it hurt me for having the ones left knwingly or unknowingly as frds --guess thats the beauty of frdship ,,even when u break with sumfrd ,,or dont get to see them for 15-20 yrs or miss them unfortunately --u tend to rememeber the better moments than the rustic moments ,
              Numbers have dwindled to almost nothin --but the ones i have are genuine ,priceless ,,,few of them live in far distance for me not to see regualrly ,,few of them are online frds so i may never see them, but priceless because friendship gives u life when the world wants to take it away ,,friendship gives u happiness when the whole world deserts u ,"Frdship may not be everythin but it is in everythin u find happiness"

             I rememebr writing once sumwhere abt  a frd  in a mail  "you have been my best admirer and most silent critic that i feared "Every friend i have now are so ,,,not tht i have many but the few fit into tha bill perfectly ,,there might come a time soon or later when i might be left with noone or just one or two of them ,i hope it doesnt happen though ,,but even if that worse case i wont regret for one moment for choosin the few of them because the amazing moments i shared with them have freezed in my mind and will run whenever i rememeber because as i said it has been a magical journey where the magic has come from such wonderful people
           And to my best friend ---u have been a marvellous support ,,u gave me another family --another reason to enjoy this life ,,,i have not forgotten that year 2000 and i have not forgotten what a absolute gem u are ,,years might have rolled ,distance might have mutliplied ,,ur reponsibilities might have increased ,,but the frdship we shared then and now and hopefully in future will never change ,,Happy bday buddy ,,and thanks for being a wonderful friend ,

Bday boy in midde with Nirmal and Deepa Ravi

         Probably i would take endless pages to write about my mom and family ,,after that if there is sumthin that i give as much importance and utmost respect it is to this word frdship without which i would have been history long time back ,its been tht significant ,,that important  with which i  have survived some torrid times,
          As long as i live this world i will keep relishing and keep smiling when i hear this word every time ,,and long after im gone i know this word will keep on swirling in this world till there is life in this world --the magical journey for everyone will go on forever --cherish ur friends for the moments and dont banish them for misunderstandings ,,life is too short to keep regrettin,,,
Cheers
See ya soon