" Life is All About Having Hope "

        "All i wish is one drop of love again --maybe its the beginning of a ocean i so dearly yearn for" 

 
           ("Dedicated To My Luvely  Soulmate and   Unforgettable Neha -Two really spl ppl whom im no more in touch but wish it will change sumday :)")

                                  "Dude if u r gettin married as and when if it happens --how much crowd u expect to come since u have been having quite a good circle for long time ---my frd asked--i replied "I dont know buddy -what u see is all im assured of (I was standing alone at tht time)-right now i dont know whether my shawdow will come with me --but all i want is ppl wishing me sumwhere heartingly)        
                                               
                                   On the walk in the shores of beach i have probably never felt so deserted and a feeling of  uneasy silence followed --u can fight words with words --what do u fight silence with ??? ,I remember walking in the same shores of beach as a school kid 15 years or so back --dancing playing in the beach shores with my family with frds --endless smiles --the night seemed so beautiful then never ending --i loved my legs becomin so sand dragged in water --i felt so happy then unknowingly --the innocence of youth where u never need a reason to smile !!

                                                   Returnin back tonite the same spot -15 long years later ---standing at the same time in evening --with my feet again in bit of sand and water --seeing the beach i had a cold feeling --now this point i was standing with myself alone with the same place i was with a huge family crowd ebbing ,,playing --it all flashed in a moment --now im searchin  even my shawdow  --the moonlight seemed dimmed than before though truth is it never lost it gloss --my vison had changed -my priorities had changed --my preferences had changed --one thing that has not changed is my love -- i read sumwhere sumtime back

                 "   You   are born out of love of two people --love will be with u all life -accepting or denying is  your wish --erasing is not though -it will always be in u !!"

                   "     The problem of getting close-- too close is u cant distance yourself enuf to know how far u can be apart --for when u do the truth hurts --sumtimes even bitter but time teaches you sumthing -a very important lesson --

                            "If u r forced to leave sumone u r too close  never force urself to forget that person"

                                    U never will because the memories ,the fun ,,the smiles ,,the tears will remain with u even if not the person ,,this aint no advice --100 % own experience --Myself had been a prime example of forming some frdships and relationships that had skyrocketed to dizzy heights --i never imagined after goin to that heights i will look back ---but fate made me do so and i also "STARTED FALLING FROM THERE:-believe me when u r too close and tht much on top of world --u r destined to fall and the effects of tht fall--the pain--the tears ,,a sense of lost feeling is too hard to digest for a normal human being ---probably we ar programmed to love people we like but we are given our choices to get how close we want -except for one or two ppl in life gettin too close is always "too close for comfort in life".
                                    I realised with the water hitting in my shirt that i was stuck there for long time to realise tht --the memories took me long than i thought --boy --losing some marvellous people took matter of minutes and days --to find them it took years---i realised one truth --"tryin to forget them is the wrong thing and sumthin impossible "--and finally thanked the beach--i dont remember one other companion in my life who never complained --never expected --always listened to my hearts words "--i walked back seeing some kids enjoyin in the sand and water --i had the same but i had something else too in my heart --which felt light on the way back  "
                                  (Not all wishes are fulfilled in a lifetime --not every love story becomes a reality -not every smile is of happiness--but " no love is a false one"--its always better to leave a wobbly  beautiful story with hope midway  than to end it with hatred -if u cant forgive never forget atleast "-hoping personally that mine will go in the same way too)
                                  
                            

A Unforgettable Letter Of Love !!!

                  Its Valentines day ,,a letter showing a girls  true love for a guy that went unfruiful --yet the girls way of seeing life --seeing love --always being positive to life--was  a inspiring person in my life

   Monday Feb 13,2006

   My Dear Luv ,

                        Been a long while ,3 months 24 days since i last saw u --tht was the last time i had happiness my heart refused to forget , From the moment i met you in that unforgettable rainy night --i knew this was the soul my heart yearned to meet --"to ask is to expect--to deny is a sin -to make u  accept was a impossiblity --but my happiness is forever same --everything else freezes when i m with u" --my mom left me before i knew the world --my dad refused to accept me into his world --i grew up with no apparent reason -- until that rainy night when i found a reason --reason to believe u can live a life u wish if you are brave enuf to come out of the miseries surrounded by u

                      How tough it is to love sumone who likes you but doesnt love u ---its never difficult for me i guess--loving came naturally to me ---u never forced me --that moment --this life --this lovely feeling is all mines --u dont live twice in a same life--i did --once for 20 odd years a life with no happiness but the next few with all the more i can ask for --its a beautiful feeling --if its a bubble i will live in it till eternity ---"I feel to expect luv back for luv is a crime --if it happens im the most happiest person in world --if it doesnt its alright -i know i was taught that not all arrows  reach the exact right destined spot ,,its not my mistake then maybe god was too busy he forgot to write my story as he wished --hes loaded with so much work i can understand ---no complaints

                      "Generally a dream ends when u wake up--for me im living in my dream---i was alive when i met u--but after meeting u i realised i was only half alive---every day,every minute ,i live now is like a beautiful dream --it has only happiness in it---if this is dream i never wanna wake up" --never felt so wonderful as i have felt in last couple of years --For me my luv came through rain --the breeze never seemed colder that night in rain --it was probably the only time my heart commanded my mind --and my mind accepted ---i smiled happily --i have not stopped being happy ever since --ur anger --ur remarks --ur ego --nothing has hurt me because u have not denied me yet--im in ur life --my life is all urs --my dad still doesnt care about me --but thats ok --he has his own wishes --maybe i never fulfilled his wishes --"i never saw life with the pessimistic glasses --this life is all i have --this luv is all i can give  --this happiness is my gift from god  --i dont wanna waste every moment feeling otherwise -- For me regretting   is  like license to fail in life ,to fall in love is like taking escalator to eternal happiness --u will know tht sumday --surely "!!

                       "If i never meet you again i wanna let you know just one thing ---i had in my life  the thing the whole world goes searchin ,,a search some find and others never -that night-the rain,,the dream ,,the happiness came ,,settled in my life  and never left .

                       "Never regret a moment in this life -never deny love --never find fault in others for leaving--never get stuck with harsh truths --find a false lie to make u happy than a  harsh truth --u might need all this with me or without me "

                       " I love you lot --hell a lot ---god gave me a beautiful life --a beautiful u--if the next moment is my last i will embrace death with a smile and show it that i lived a life that will never die as long as the world exists of my honest and never ending "Love"!!

                                            Without you now  --with love forever!!!

                                                                                     Ever lovingly

                               

                                                    From a known persons diary (published  with due permission from the lovely person )-who was honestly the best writer i have known and my biggest inspiration for words --and probably the best girl who symbolised the word "LOVE"

                       

Life Seems Always Interesting One Way Or Other:)

 "Life always offers the doors to our wishes --its us who always seem to choose the wrong keys!!!"

                                           
                             Few days back  --while i was annoyed at events that were taking place in a non linearway pointing alarmingly to bad times --i asked myself "Why cant life be just fair "it seems sumwhere the balance appears awry ,,why is that so ?
                              Maybe in angst and depressing frustration sumtimes that comes in our lives we miss the true facts that lies right in front of our eyes ,,that we infact change the question for our need and not answer the right question "Have we been fair to our life"--"Have we been fair enuf to accept the mistakes and correct them "--To say "i never make mistakes "is like saying "Im a robot --Im always in autopilot mode --destined to do the right things "--To blame others for excruciating pain created by ourselves is like searching water in a empty well to quench our thirst.
                             What prevents us from answering that question is simple ---"Plenty of Anger ,,Plenty of Ego ,,Endless greed to earn more" ---Yep ---I m also in that category --I still have so much anger dying to get out of me ----a ego which always seems be  a untamed monster and a normal human beings greed to money --to be frank ---by tryin to conquer all these i have failed falling flat on my face,,i have not been fair to my life --i have not done what i was destined --i have failed to conquer my ego ---even to my dear frds,,my sisters ---i have prided unknowingly my ego over love --i have not become what my life offered me -life asked me to become sumone i could --i became ultimately what my family,,surroundings and situations wanted --not what life had for me -by gods grace and a wunderful supportive people around me i made sure my path was not a bad one after all ---but still "Life offered me a path with a garden full of flowers i wished but i refused to tht --why complain then"
                              Life doesnt care whether u r careless ,,innocent or arrogant-Just a "yes" or " no"--it offers everythin --manipulating them to our needs and situations is our mistake--If i chose from what i have been offered i would have had a luvely person near me while i write this not a demon called "Loneliness"--If i chose to be different i would have made the wishes of my remarkable mother realities ,,,If i chose to be different i would have not hurt people i loved so much and left them sumwhere hoping "I wish,,,,,," ,,"If i was not so sensitive i would have had the life for ages that i was so desperately near "---But despite the flaws ,the mistakes i make and made --i knew i m not the only one in this world --its a marvellous thrill a minute journey where the next minute is a puzzle u wish was not --thats why its a challenge to live through this tough times -it always seems interesting one way or the other :)

"Life might seem unfair always --but in truth it isnt --it offers you time though limited,ability though hidden,dreams that pushes u to achieve them--what more can u ask "
                       

A Interesting Story Abt " Laughing Buddha "!!!!

  " When u were there i was never tired of seeing u smile for 20 years it worked wonders

          Now i see your picture and see that same smile and it still works wonders "

                  With you and that everlasting smile my journey goes on ,,,,,,,

                          -- To my mom whose smile i have kept as a priceless gift god gave me

           

                            Dont know abt others for me the most tireless thing to watch is sumones true smile - thats when this idea of blog came to mind --the statue of "Laughing Buddha "comes to my mind when i think abt the word smile ---it was sumthing i used to make fun abt tht statue calling it as "dhonthi buddha "in my young age ,,i used to see it in almost many houses ,,only recently i got to know why the statue is referred as laughing buddha --The word "Buddha"means "One who is to awake "

                         This person on who the laughing buddha title was given  is said  to be a chinese monk-named "Budai" --said to have lived a life full of happiness and   extreme satisfaction of being funny all his life and there is a interesting story which is told about his death i quote from a excerpt in a book 

               "  The monk had asked his family that when he dies that he need not be washed before being burnt --eventually when he died of old age after a life filled of complete joy as he wished --he was not washed but when he was burnt as the customary ritual ,,ppl heard crackers burst around his body ,,he had crackers tied with his body at the time of death and thats why he asked not to be washed ,,ppl in his death smiled happily on seeing that --its how the story goes that here was a man who lived a happy life despite anythin and even in his death made ppl laugh --it is believed by having his statue  our lives will be filled of happiness,it is beleived rubbing his belly would bring good luck,wealth and prosperity ----so obviously the statue is more than a fat funny bald old man statue as i perceived then  --there is sumthin we could take from his life if we are prepared too.

                 We dont stop to see good things -we find time to discuss one bad thing for yrs  ,,we dont find a reason to smile but we shed tears for a useless reason,,there is always a funny person in every one of us --if we could find that part of us and live life like tht then we could someday understand the real presence of the laughing buddha statue --a true story in itself to behold --"if only we could enjoy life like that --and thats a big if "-lol

Cheers 

"Im Happier Than Yesterday --All I Ask Is The Same For Life "

          " Life is quite mysterious --the next moment always seems a mystery "

                                    Been a long while or so it seems since i blogged --Sick ,Sick ,Sick--literally thats what i have been all the past few months ---today morning i went out after a long time to one of places i used to visit long time back even before i had moved to chennai
                                     Moving along the streets after a visit to church i used to visit --i was walking along the shop side of streets--have to mention sumthin here --it was same place i had roamed around 7  odd years  or so  before on newyears eve with few of my frds whom i have completely lost touch now--during that time with  just  pure exuberance of enjoying life not knowing what is right or wrong --we actually hit upon tht side during wee hrs of new yrs eve ,parying crazily if i have to put it in right words :)---few of my  frds (not all of us ) who were supposedly"high" took the garlands from roadside shops  and threw in air --enjoyin the moment and picking quarrels with ppl over there --mainly ladies  were there  as  shopkeepers,,,when i was walking today i had no idea of those incidents until i met a old lady who kept gazin me for sumtime

Where r ur "high "frds --coming behind u?
                                     she asked i was blinkin at her --she asked --me ?--you only --i remember u very wel and ur great friends --they all ruined our  beginning of a new year many years back --how can i forget tht ? --then i remembered wht she was saying is true --i hardly remembered her face from tht incident ,,,,i was standing expressionless--"im sorry for u to remember me like tht "--she said ---"its ok i remember you well of that small girl who accompanied you --she asked to pay for us and you did "when your friends were still fighting with me --i have forgiven and  forgotten all of them --i forgave you then not because of your money but because of that girl --shes your small sister na ?hows she--convey regds to her -she was so beautiful --still remember her face --i replied nothing --just smiled and said you are a nice person and a lucky one too---so only u r blessed to be so near of god selling this garlands .,,
                                       
A true realisation,
                             As i moved along the street i asked myself a weird question "How do i remember some of my close  people --do i remember them the way like the old lady did of me --- that of my frds,,my sisters,my relations  --- with "ill feelings ??
                             it was very difficult question--but there was sumthing my mother used to teach me when i was young---if u want to know what your heart thinks about sumone --just close your eyes and see what image u get of that person--tht is the true reflection of what your heart thinks "--she was marvellous because from my young age i had and have this problem of trying to figure out the real importance of a person who is close to me --i invaraibly lost person after person due to this confusion---today i decided to do the same test"I CLOSED MY EYES AND THOUGHT ABT THE PERSONS WHOM I WANTED TO KNOW WHAT MY HEART THINKS ---AND ALL I COULD REMEMBER   OF THEM WAS SMILES AND HAPPY MOMENTS  SHARED TOGETHER AS A SLIDE SHOW "--I knew at that very instant when i opened my eyes --i have had a pretty good life till now no matter how bad it appears-no matter how lonely i feel at times,,,no matter how sick i have been falling lately ---nothin has really made me develop a "ill"feeling towards any of them that is a special feeling not everyone is blessed ,,,as i came back and put my cd player on in my car --the song "Tere Hone Laga Hoon"played ---i smiled endlessly !!

           "I felt happier than yesterday i ask only tht for the remainder of my time"
Cheers ,,,c ya soon