Learning,,, to smile at adversity

"In life the real beauty lies in your ability to smile at adversity and refuse to be drowned by it "

Been almost two years since I blogged and many years since I actively did what I love most in life - writing, I was questioning myself having lost the one little tiny priceless gift  I thought I was given by my angelic mother and God from the time i knew myself was now truly gone bcoz of the relentless pressures of life. 

As years go by life teaches one thing very clearly - there is no set pattern to live life nor there are same set of ppl who you keep travelling along - sumtimes it's left with u and ur shadow - that's when you precise learn how precious some memories are in life - they push you forward rather standing  alone amidst a world full of hope and opportunities. 

"Hope is not a bad thing, sumtimes it's the only thing you cling on to get out of adversity,,,, so it's better to smile at adversity and win it one day with hope than to get drowned by it easily ☺☺☺☺☺!! 

Happy birthday mom- ma smiling angel!!!

"There are million stars in the sky this night but I feel u will still be the brightest up there - you had a heart that could fit the whole world in "

  Happy birthday to a my beautiful mom - I never get tired of loving you even after twenty years you left us all physically -everythin I am life is of you - "life teaches you plenty of lessons - it never taught me how to live without you "

  I could write a million words on the unbridled love you gave - the countless reasons you gave me to smile - the happiness you still give when I relive all the memories is beyond words, yoh were the miracle I could never see when you were around me smiling day in  out. 

I always wondered how you could make ppl love you so much, my classmates loved you more than me, my collegemates respected you more I did even, my best online frds loved you and love you like my mom, my soul mate loves you like her mom, this from many of whom never got too close to you or saw you to know you what a special person you were which I knew only after you left me. 

Death is inevitable to everyone in the world, but even death would hve been ashamed to take your beautiful life so early, you brought happiness in so many souls lives, you made a man out of a incapable person in me, it's for you I completed my bachelors degree despite feeling like giving up once , you never ever gave up, not even death could get u easily, u never gave up, the fighter who never cried in the last minutes to not see her kids breakin down, the lady whose sole reason to live was to see her kids happy and happy forever . 

Life has not been easy sailing without you, like everyone it has thrown to the wolves, but one thing tht always I remember was - my mom was  a helluva of fighter who never gave up - she gave so much love - she made so many envy her for her kindness, the respect I hve for women is entirely because I was brought up by a lovely, lovely lady who believed only in love and kindness , and taught me every women symbolises it perfectly. 

Wherever you are mom, I wish you are at peace and happy, you were a sparklin gem, sparklin even now and forever till my last breath, you were truly the be

st gift to me from God, he got my gift back but he could not take the love tht gift gave me for a lifetime 

Here I'm 

Wishin you with tears rollin from eyes 

Heart saying to eyes - don't cry she gave you a special memories 

Memories sayin - those were not just special - those were miracles 

Miracle sayin- she was the miracle of your life 

Life sayin - my life was all of tht angel 

Angel sayin - every mom is a angel 

It is a honour to be your son 🙏🙏🙏

Happy birthday ma angel mom - I love u endlessly and miss u always -make heaven best place to party. 

❤❤❤❤❤❤!!! 

Memories With Beautiful Souls Is A Priceless Gift !!!!!!

 This pandemic has given a whole different perspective to life - before this the most important questions tht will pester a commoner would b like in the lines of 

" How much can I travel ,how much I can earn within this period ,where can I buy this thing ,tht thing ,a house etc countless such questions keep propping up but this time ,this prolonged lockdown has sort put a self realization on every one of us ,the most important question being " how many people have we earned - the true quest of our life is during this journey who really values u in life - if u could think of a handful of ppl u have to consider urself very lucky 

" To how many ppl we r truly unforgettable - as a person ,as a memory 😊"

Because like me - I have lost few frds ,plenty of souls have gone just like a flash to this demon called 'corona ',its time to step back and stop our seemingly endless run towards nowhere in the quest of money and dreams ,stop for few hours and realize how many people we truly have earned along the way to  whom we r unforgettable 

I have had really one 4 a.m friend in my life - who was my soulmate for longtime before fate took us apart -  sumone who continues to be in my memories for the beautiful presence she was in my life for over a decade - only during this extended time forced in house I remembered the old good times with some of the best people in my life .

And it was odd that many of them had gone in different ways to my path ,after all 'letting go'is also a art ,I admired all those souls who made my life a joy back then and now during this period I felt I  tht admiration felt better because I personally felt I have earned some unforgettable memories with them ,never mind they r in my life or not ,the happiness I feel that I have had a journey worth a whole life with many of them .

This pandemic has shown life has no guarantees ,ur run for money will be endless ,ur responsibilities will be till ur grave ,but when u sit down alone - and think u have  handful of souls who truly value ur part in their life as unforgettable - then u truly have lived a life worth all the struggles ,still think all this is a lie ?? - close ur eyes and rewind ur life - if it gives u few smiles with those  special souls then that's all u want - especially in this terrible times - something for ur heart to cheer and what better way than memories with few spl souls .

The sun sets to arise only - hope is the one thing u should never give up in tough times - times will change for good hopefully .

Happy Bday Mom -- Love u endlessly !!!!

 " Some memories are like snowfall that falls on you slowly forever 

    Wonderful ,beautiful and ever memorable "

    To the most  beautiful soul i had ever known in life ---Happy Bday Mom 

Mom where to start ----sometimes i just smile silently when i think about remembering u ---well to remember sumone u should forget them --u gave me too much love to ever forget u till im alive --u were the most beautiful  dream i saw without sleeping ---

"U are the sun in my brightest times ---u r  the moon in my darkest times" 

u not only gave me life ---u taught the value of loving people from heart --i always wondered how u could never hate anyone in life.

   Mother's  are the most aesthetically beautiful creation by god --Always wondered if he took extra time to make them ---because i have always found them to be the most selfless ,most caring and torchbearers of the word "love"in this world.

 My Mother was very special ,,,she was very very special when she left me ---now its been nearly 18 years --she well appears very very very special to me ---people who do see me after a time just keep uttering the same line ---you had a great mother and lovely parents ---the best thing about life is about being known as a son to lovely people -- no amount of fame or money can better that .

The wonderful mrng smile --that cuddle with ur hand on my forehead --that lovely hug while i slept --that magical angelic aura u had everytime i saw u --u were too good  a reality for a careless,disobedient son --but you will be the single  biggest reason for me always to believe that "love "is the solution to the toughest of situations ,

I still remember you uttering the words when ur end was  nearing ---"No matter what happens --i won't  give up "---and  by the way u fought everythin with sheer will power  and endless grit even death  would have felt ashamed to take the life of such a brave and lovely woman very very early ---i think maybe god was shortage  of good  souls he took early --but not  before you had given us all a life to remember and love u forever .

Happy Bday Mom ---I hope you are at peace wherever u r .You were the most precious gift i never knew i was blessed with --but now i know and will be the same till the last .Love u loads and endlessly.

Still awaiting your return ------until we meet again someday  probably  with u in my hands for a change to give back  part of all those endless love u gave  me :P :P :P.

"Life Is About Memories Too --Create Some New Now:)!!!

           
                    " Every story has a beginning ---and a end but in between them all lies the chapters 

                       we never know because we create them ---with one important factor  we always 

                       seem to have less  --TIME"

                     This  is of course a  totally unexpected issue thr whole world is encountering ---lockdowns have been forced in many nations ---people have been forced to be confined to their houses with their loved ones -the only biggest positive outcome of this terrible disease is that --for now time seems more --spent  with people we see everyday but never had time to sit down and talk about life ,about everything we go through and went through .

                       Honestly when u wonder what makes you smile  when you close ur eyes for  few minutes ---"MEMORIES"--in the fast paced world where you are pushed to earn more endlessly ,,to keep running with no end line at sight --this time given to u is a chance to  revisit the most precious moments and precious people in your life whom you might have not  had time to appreciate  their role in making you who you are in life .

                       I had this conversation with this close  friend with whom im not in touch but would do someday again surely would do ---we had a talk about life and memories --i remember that friend quoting 

                    " If life is like a sky the memories we create in life are like rainbows "

I never understood what he meant that day because life is a hazy picture that becomes clear as we grow old --now i  know  wht he meant  --life is  not about how much money u make  --how famous you are ---infact the less greedy you are --the more  happy you are in life !!1

                       Now is the  time to enjoy the beauties life has offered in your life that you never notice for quest for lifeless things -- talk to your  mother more after all she has talked to u so much while u were in your "first"darkness :)--talk to your father and thank him for all  his struggles--talk to your siblings for staying there always for you ---and most importantly remember and thank the souls who gave their time for you to be happy -- friends --we might have forgotten many of them in our relentless  quest --many of them might have been left behind ---this is your chance to make the people who made you what you are happy ---if you have  memories with people  that make  you smile  --now is your "time"to thank them ---have a word with them and make new memories.This is another opportunity "time"has given you to do that .After all everything alive will die one day but the memories never do ---it will keep passing from one to another life till this world is there --no corona can take them away !!

As long as you live --forget the word "end " !!!

    This happened to me many years back ---when i was struggling to get over the toughest loss of my life --there was this marvellous motivation soul of my life,the best mate who made me fall even more in love with words  --who sat by my side and said probably the most important lines i forgot for a long time till a few days back .After the loss of my angel mom i was at loss of finding a reason to live life --She sat by me and our conversation was like this 

       Me --  Its excruciating to think i have to live a life without the light of my life -my mother --everything seems to be ending too fast 

      My Frd --   "LISTEN AS LONG AS YOU LIVE --FORGET THE WORD END --REMEMBER ONLY THE WORD "FIGHT "----YOUR MOM WAS THE BIGGEST EXAMPLE TO THAT "

She was perfectly right -- i had right in front of my eyes the one soul who never gave up -till her last --she kept uttering i will not give up for my children ---i never knew how gutsy she was till death eventually shamefully took that wonderful life --Everything  that has life has to eventually end --but thats just the beginning and end --the inbetween part is entirely ours--it doesnt matter how long or how short our time is in this world ---if we keep believing there is still time to realise atleast few of our countless dreams.

Despite countless troubles ,endless hurdles .improbable situations ,unbearable losses --just keep telling yourself --this is not the end ---as long as you live you can still make things better --there was short few lines  i read few years back --which makes life is what u make of it --more than what it makes u look like to everyone.Those lines were 

      " If you see every loss of something /someone as a leaf falling from a tree --then you will always feel there will be a new one growing in tht tree soon ---Never lose hope--as long as u live -just forget the word "end "!!!

   

Happy Bday To A Unforgettable Wonderful Human Being - Happy Bday Dipu !!

(The last six months of  my life has been the most depressing i have been in my life --- for the second time i was suffering from depression -- and i knew i was battling depression when i failed again and again to do what i loved most --write what my heart wanted --it was the only way i could speak from my heart for i was not a good a orator and nothin much else--pardon me if this blog  seems different because its like im restarting again for the best friend of my life --i have had many but  now i have almost none but u were there always in my past , present and  will be sumehow in the future too ---Happy BDay Daps)

" Your life is good if ur memories slide one by one leaving at the end with tears of untold joy in ur eyes "---To one beautiful soul who has been in the best and worst part of my life  as a wonderful supporter no matter what --being just what he promised to be when i met him more than a decade and half ago--"A True Friend")

                                             If at all there was a award for someone who made such a large amount of  true friends purely through social media ---it had to be me :p--i was damn lucky to have had met some wonderful gems through online --Here's the "Achilles heel" i learnt though that comes along with that tag of having many  online friends ---not all of them stick with u through ur good times and bad times --they just wither away due to fate and extreme level of expectations --but what won't wither is the beautiful memories u had with them -- the thought of  their desertion in your most desperate times will be a minor glitch in the whole beautiful picture (i hope to go in detail sumday :P).

                                           Sandeep Sheoron --- The first interaction with you was funny with your stupid shawn michaels dp in orkut searchin a friend with same name like me --fortunately or (unfortunately for u )--u sent a friend request that still remains the most important friend request i got in social media --i formed a chain from u to make so many of ur friends mine and their friends mine too --i was so fond of making friends that i failed to find the best ones among all the good ones --I realise now that it is as important to be true to sumone to expect them to be same to u,,its to me the most important trait in being a true friends,unfortunately i realised my mistakes bit late but letting go is also a art i guess --a part of life which is a must .

                                           Your memories with me go back a long time -- i used to have the best times with u while online chatting --- you --with a terriifc sly sense of humour ---a brute honesty - a heart that is the softest in the world ---which was rightfully given to another wonderful soft hearted soul --eventually being rewarded with "The brightest little angel in the whole world "--you have everythin in life because u deserved nothing less --if at all wishes had wings i wish it could fly to u and tell how many i have---they are countless--for a wonderful human being even the best things in this whole world wont be enuf .

                                           Nowadays we don't have time to know each other more --nowadays there is no time to crack jokes --no time to write mails --no time to talk -its the usual life of all frustrated "family responsible guys in the thirties "--we will keep running to reach one goal after and another --not realising what we are leaving behind ---we eventually run a race to our destiny all alone --but no destiny could erase the beautiful memories u gave me --the shoulder u gave me when i needed them (before this watsapp ,facebook revolution which i truly hate now :P),u are truly a brother i will happily take to me to even the toughest roads of life ---You will always be my lucky charm ,,my closest friend and now one of the few leftover good ones left in my life ---Thanks for being there and keep making many others life a living heaven by being urself in all their lives too ,,Have a wonderful bday with all around ,,,as for my gift ,,,,u have already got it :P:P:P!!!!--Have fun -luv u loads brother always ,,,,,till my last)

Happy 60 th Bday Mom --Luv U forever !!!

 "Every time i see stars shining in the night time ---I feel you would be sumwhere there shining        brightly as you did in my life -- Happy Bday Mom -- your words will always be my guiding light"


                                           

For those who are reading this --If you have your mom with you ---go love her more -- hug her once again  --- thank them for their endless unconditional  love --i do the  same to my mom pic !!!

Happy Wedding Anniversary To The most Wonderful Couple I Ever Knew In Life -My Parents !!!

             " Not everyone you meet you in life can be always  lovely ,always  wonderful , ever caring , mesmerisingly unforgettable  forever ---because no one will ever be like your " PARENTS".

Still remember everythin u taught me when u were with me  and after that too - MOM 
                                              I lost my wonderful angelic mother in 2002 in such a sudden shock that shook my entire life , i had the most wonderful 20 years of my life with her ,i remember as a eight year old how my mom celebrated my birthday as the biggest function in her life -- her love made me always as a 8 year old who refused to grow up believing the best time of my life will forever be stagnant ---but life has its own ways to wake u up and throw u to the wolves --to see whether you survive or just become a prey to the wolves in different forms of our lives waiting to pounce on us (I guess everyone who is in their mid life knows who and what these wolves are --they have so many different names and forms but their sole aim is to destroy us :p).
           

                                                There was this journey during her last few months that i realised i was not born to a great woman ---i felt i was a son to the most wonderful human being to have graced this world --even in her last few months she never cared about her --she kept asking the welfare of all of her close ppl --there was so many nights where i did not know what was coming and how much my wonderful mom was suffering ---i was just  that eight year old who thought one fine day all will be fine and i will be playing with her as always ---just that the " fine day" never arrived  -- some other day arrived ---one where i was forced to grow to know i was not a eight yr old anymore -- i was scared to live a day in a day without her but somewhere in everyone of those dark days i felt a ray of light --a hope in the most hopeless situation ---in every tough situation i could hear her words --i could see her grit in tough times as a example to fight anything life throws --In short she had prepared me to fight life with her and ,,,,,without her too .

Noone really cares about you like your DAD .
     "For everyone their first hero is their Dad - for me he will be the most important of all my heroes "

                                                      My dad was always my first hero as it is for all kids ---but one day in the summer of 2007 changed my perception of him forever - he became the hero i will forever remember in toughest time of my life ---i got a sudden call from my brother saying suddenly father had encurred a serious stroke  -- on the way to hospital our family doctor told us he should not fall unconsious as it would complicate the stroke ---we all three had not got married and we had no relatives support (our only support had been the people we met in our lives and stayed with us always ---our friends)--- on reaching the hospital he was placed in ICU and doctors had told it was critical that for the  next 48 hours  he should not fall unconsious as the stroke had happened in critical spot in brain ---me and my brother stood by him as he was tryin to speak sumthing --his speech was slurred of the sudden stroke --yet he tried to say something - me and my brother went to hear what he was saying --he just said very hardly yet very sternly ---" Dont Worry --i wont leave until i had fulfilled your mother's wishes and my duties "--We left reluctantly and came next morning --and the doctor just said --"Your dad saved himself by his own will power --he did not sleep even one minute --hes no ordinary man --and patted us on the back sayin --Don't worry"
                 

                                                      Your parents are the biggest gifts god gave you in life ---cherish them till they are with you --this journey called life from the beginning is never easy ---but nobody gives you more reasons to enjoy life than them --the memories they give you are countless and ever efferevscent --their words guide you in the most toughest moments --after all the journey might be urs but the path will always be what they showed you --to my parents who showed how to love ,how to respect ,how to live your heart in everything you do ---to two wonderful people who i will forever be indebted in life --- Happy Wedding Anniversary ---Thanks for the wonderful things you teach in life by being with me dad  and mom ,,,in your case ---thanks for still being with me even though u r not with me ---ur words will always be the light of my life ---I hope to you see you someday in the other side  maybe as a eight year old again :) ----until then keep watchin all of us getting old and your man---gettin even older and lovelier than ever !!!!

                            
                                                

After a point in life ,, you are just judged by wrong things and not for what u r - Doesnt matter-Just soldier on!!!!!

  " When i  was a kid life seemed like a circle where it was only about good
     When i grew up it was like a square where i ended up with good after bad times
      But now ,,,,its  like  a  never ending zig zag line !!!!"

 ( Disclaimer : To those who like only  feel good blogs and sugar coated lies plz skip this blog as this is strictly for fanatics who know the meaning of the word "LIFE")

                                     I'm gonna quote three different times in my life which has made me realise that there is nothing as fascinating as the life we live in --Our incidences may differ but the fascination of them are for one unique purpose only --to know the meaning why do we exist in this world .

28 th March ---- Some beautiful memories in the 90's--Nothing but love--Life as a circle  !!
                                       I had my best years in my life with the some of the most beautiful souls i ever knew in life ---i had a small family but as all of you a wonderful ,wonderful one ---as a kid the birthdays were the days u wait for the whole year ---i was no different but was different --i had no friends --i had my school teachers as my best friends and my family as the delightful star cast who celebrated my bday more than me -life was about smiling on the shoulders of my angel mom who knew nothing other than love for her children and family - she lived with me for such a short time but it was the best short time of my life with the person closest person to god in real life showing me life in the best meaningful way possible --my memories of that time have remained with me because all that i had were memories of ppl who gave me endless unconditional love .I had funny gifts like a green elephant from my dad --lifting me countless times --making me the happiest kid with the best memories of my life ,how i wish my life was stagnant then forever .But nothings lasts forever in life except "MEMORIES "!!

October 2002 - A lesson of endless love from a angel  -- When hope stayed through love !!!
                                           My last year in graduation was unexpectedly the most unforgettable -as i never knew i would say farewell to the angel of my life in the most brute manner possible --fate was trying to take my mother away swiftly --but what i witnessed was not just case of fate winning --it was a heroic fight of a love battle hardened woman who refused to be defeated by fate --because she had yet to witness her children settle down in life --she had yet to see her better half  grow old enuf to say gudbye --- one night in a famous hospital in chennai --while i was spending the night witnessing  her in bed in worsening health but refusing to show that to a young me --who thought waking up everythin would be fine --every single day --but that night i realised that not everythin is rosy in life -- i slept not knowing her endless pain but got to know the next day she did not want to disturb me in sleep --that was pure unconditional love --the last stages of unconditonal love i got in life was from the angel of unconditional love to all children --MOM ,But the untimely demise of my wonderful mom gave me different perspective of life through many friends --each of them showing a glimpse of the love i had got from the time i knew about myself .Life though in the most horrendous of times still showed me there is an oasis in such wretched times ,there was a feeling that despite everything love will prevail not anythin else ---only to be proved wrong later !!

Now,,,,,,,The realisation that it is not about love anymore --Its about Money ,Ego and Loneliness !!!
                                             After a certain point in life you realise that it is not about love in life anymore ---Something else would have overtaken that so silently and rudely --To put it in simple few lines i would like to quote

                  "  Your life now is about money you earn --ppl respect you accordingly
                      Your life is surrounded by people with egos bigger than you imagined
                      Your best friend is loneliness courtesy of those magical words "Money " and  "Ego"

                                             It hurts when your best mates judge you for money you earn --it hurts when respect is not about the person you are  --it hurts more when your best friend ditch you for a monster called "Ego" --it hurts when loneliness has put a arm around your shoulder and walks around as if it is your best friend.Life seems surely goin in a zig zag way with no destination at sight .

Yet ,,,,,Life will not end up this way i guess --as one of my best mates ( who lived all of 26 years,and sumone i wish i could have had now )  that keeps ringing me in my ears more than ever now

    " Life is like a butterfly - A butterfly may eventually look beautiful --but to reach that stage it has to go through so much transformation --like that you will have to go through endless peaks and troughs to know the real meaning of your life--No matter what happens --Life will go on !!!!

               

 
                          

TRUE FRIEND !!!!!!

     
             "Life is a beautiful teacher--time its best companion -a true friend is the best lesson 
               we learn by both " 

(Dedicated to one of my best friends ,one of the  most wonderful souls i have ever known in life--Happy Bday Sandeep Sheoron !!)

                                                         When you are born --you are born with nothing --then begins this process of our journey to find the meaning of life --the intricacies hidden in that journey is nothing short of the word "amazing "---its like multi layers hidden under one single block ---there are times when you feel like you have solved the whole riddle but then comes another ---similarly life gives you opportunity to meet people ,as they say 

          "  Every one u meet in life give you a opportunity to know about the purpose of your life "

                                                          I did not have many friends for my whole school life because my life was in a beautiful heaven with a angel who happened to be my mother with a short ,short life but who showed me beauty of life through her wonderful smile --the best lesson she taught was it was to find the best people to spend life -pity i realised her words only after she left me --but her words still ring in my ears that

               "  Finding a true friend is the best tribute you can make to ur parents upbringing of u "

    The Brute Truth of finding a true friend -or being a true friend ;
                                                        Finding /being a true friend is the second most difficult riddle in your life -- its like making  a puzzle of a simple question --Finding a friend who is compatible to your mindset is difficult in the first part but then comes the "juxtapose" part where we all mess up -being close with someone makes us feel that we understand them well --well i learnt a harsh lesson in last few years that being close exactly doesn't mean you understand and standby the person ---the art of being a true friend or finding a true friend lies in finding someone who truly understands you  r as u r and without expectations of what u might be of their liking ---that sort of ppl make your life truly memorable --the remaining people you meet in life make you understand the value of finding /being a true friend ---(something even im still trying to understand well into the 30's :p).

To someone who is a epitome of the word true friend - Sandeep Sheoron
                                                           A journey that started many years ago --from being boys to guys to now responsible family men :P--one thing that has never changed is the true love ---love for being a true friend no matter what --time tarnishes everything ---it fades out the fake glitter that new frdship offers --it washes out the false hopes we might dream of our best buddies ---but after all that glitter and fun part --comes the realisation of finding that true best friend --one who comes out of longeivity-with no expectations --and with just a heart that understands the wrong things you do in the right sense and the right things you do in the happiest way possible ---to the soul i found by pure accident in orkut ---to a soul who never changed despite every travail life put through ---to a boy who still cries when his heart is broken rather than acting like a man who should never cry ---to a wonderful friend through whom i achieved my biggest passion and dream --A Very,Very  Happy Bday -- I'm just endlessly happy that life found u for me as a true frd :)
               
    Sumtimes in life there are moments when you are thoughts are  among  countless                                  unfulfilled dreams,disappointments of failure ,anguish in belief in God , untold 
    anger on fate--it is precisely at that moment  you will find someone with open arms with                      no expectations yet knowing your  pain without you uttering a word --those sort of people                    are very very few in life yet so  priceless -You are certainly one in my life bro-- To one of                     the most wonderful human beings i  met in ma life --to my brother  with a heart of gold , to                   a guy who will always be the one  person who fulfilled my passion i have no words but                         only a heart full of gratitude which wishes endless happiness to u brother ---  "Happy Bday                 Dipu"- Love you loads and may god bless with everythin you wish in life.

True Love Needs Our Ego and Anger To Be Little Porous :)!!!!

  Dedicated to the  few beautiful souls i miss being together in life but there is still time :)!!!!!

     " Every soul is beautiful in its own way --- just that not every one close knows it true beauty "

                     (Been a long while since i blogged so kindly adjust the flaws:P)
                                       
                                                      If somebody tells you that life isn't interesting --just ask them to sit down and write down the number of people they could remember meeting in their whole life --because frankly noone could write down the entire list of people they meet in life ---We meet lot of people --many remain as strangers we don't remember ,,some remain as known people we meet in life but don't become close enough --few only select few become people who will love from our heart because our hearts choose them not our minds '
                                                      
 An Incident with a ever positive person who always remains my inspiration !!!
                                                      Many summers ago (Should be atleast a decade ago ,makes me feel so old :P)one lovely day happened to be in a conversation with  this my "ever inspiring friend" who at that moment of life had virtually no one in life to fall back .I never had her maturity and she was younger to me but matured than me in life --learnt a lot from her as a person ,Our conversation was like the following (even though i dont remember my nonsense i remember her words always :p)

Me --  Seriously don't you feel weird ,,this point of life i don't see you with anyone other than your books and pen (She was a wonderful writer )
Frd -- You maybe right but what u see now is what it is but what it was not before  --i had people ,i had friends -i truly have loved few people from hearts --just that right now  we  are busy ignoring  each other  childishly now  :)
Me - Really ?? Are all ignoring u or is it u ignoring few ?
Frd -- Hmm you know this heart is a funny thing --it can't love everyone my eyes sees --but the people it loves not even my eyes can deny seeing when it wants !!!
Me -- ????
Frd --  Someday you will know Shanmu ---Nothing in life is beautiful as the people our heart truly loves --its a pity that we have our anger ,ego put a mask to that feeling temporarily but that mask is always a temporary one --nothing can put a mask to our true love on people close to us ,Love will prevail eventually .
Me ---- Gud (I just recorded the conv in my heart maybe to revisit someday --i did today because i have had my fair share of ups and downs with people in last few years ).
                                                
                                                     Yesterday while going through my previous google chats and mails accidentally i became interested to see how many close people i still have that i have had few years ago --and it was apparent that time has withered one by one for various reasons away from me ,fair enough there are rights and wrongs everywhere doesnt matter --but i just got this conversation in mind that made me realise the true fact 

                                  " True love  needs our  ego and anger to be little porous"
  
                                                      In this wonderful journey called life we never know what's next but what we do know is the people we love will always be people we love -nothing would change that -no amount of false hatred ,no amount of needless ego propping up ,no amount of money difference could kill our care and affection for people we truly love in life .If you stutter in knowing to choose between your mind and soul then just remember following 

                               "This 350 gms within us called as heart is what determines our life as whole 
                                 Often it is a war between what our mind wants and our heart wishes 
                                  whilst mind makes a million permutations to determine what is right and wrong
                                  our heart needs one factor ---"LOVE"

Maybe someday we will wake up knowing that life is not about our anger and ego --our happiness is about not being impatient with people we love but to be more patient with them .After all we are all flawed yet each one of us is unique and beautiful in their own way .

With hope maybe i might reconcile with few of beautiful souls someday soon  and wishing you all the  same  :):)!!!!
                                                                   

" Happy 40 th Wedding Anniversary to two wonderful human beings i knew in life --My parents :) "

        "There is no one as endlessly loving  and caring as our parents -- To the great king and angel queen  i was born to on their 40 th Wedding Anniversary "
               

   My Mother,
                              The one big regret i have in life is i could not see my mom getting old --beautifully old ---it is the most wonderful relationship in the world that no word can express poetically enuf --Sometimes u wish life had a pause moment with her because she creates so many beautifully memories that we don't understand that we are part of special bonding that would give countless goosebump memories till our last .
                              Life with her was the happiest part of my life ---that angelic smile --that caring cuddle of hair when i was sleeping ---those are just things mother do which no one else do ---she cooked --she taught me --she made me laugh --she had no enmity towards anyone --she was the angel i saw everyday --the angel whom i could touch play hold her hand and walk whenever i wanted .She played with me --she was and will always be the shining light that will keep flickering before me in the darkest of times --beyond every thing the one thing i admired was the respect ,the admiration ,the unbinding love she had towards my father --i remember her sayin many times the exact words my father would utter few minutes later in different places ,,their level of understanding was beyond belief ,,her love towards us was unparalled and beyond words .
                             A brave lady who made even death hang its head in shame for coming to take her life early  --a woman who  symbolised grit in the most testing circumstances even when she knew it was her time to go --called us and said nothing but "take care of dad "---I knew it was just true love out of extreme understanding for her better half .In short she lived a life which became a lesson for us who knew her .So Short yet amazingly magical .

My Father ,
                             I have seen  this wonderful man get old though so much so he is sure to see me getting old too :P,Jokes apart every father is the first inspiration to every son out there ,,my father was no different to me --he still remains my biggest inspiration --beyond being a sucessful business man with fame coming along it --nothing went to his head --he was always a man who could not express his love in words like my mom -like all the fathers in the world --but he always knew when i would fall he would be there to help me out ---to be there when im lost for direction in life i have his words to redirect me --a strict person to the core but a lovable man like none seen in the world ---a man of little words but with endless love towards his children .
                            Some years back when doctors  had warned us a 48 hour time deadline to get over for my dad --he called us and said "Dont worry --Nothing will happen to me ,,i have duties your mother left me to complete --i will not leave until i have completed  all her dreams and wishes ",and he made sure mom saw all the dreams she wished to achieve through his eyes .

                                          To two people who were the epitome of understanding --to two people who not only gave me life ---gave me everything i have today ---to two people who i will never be ever to repay for all that they have done to me in life ---to two people who showed mutual love is the ultimate feeling the world --to two people with whom i have had countless happy memories --happy 40 th Wedding Anniversary --Love u Mom --i know u are watching in happiness --u would have to wait hopefully for a long time to see ur better half in heaven :P --love u both endlessly (Sumday I hope i become a parent to know how beautiful it is to feel to be like u both !!!))!
                          
                    
                                      

Life !!!

                                " Life is the only gift in the world which comes with a unknown  time limit "

(Dedicated to the wonderful souls who keep working non stop for everyone to be happy except them )
                                                       
                                                                I guess it won't be out of place if i said irrespective of our ages the little child in each of us never grows old --only thing is we are constrained to even talk about it to our loved ones --reason being as always petty issues like  society, responsibility etc.

The Beautiful "Past"!!!
 Ever wondered where these scenarios in life went --just press the rewind button sumwhere this would have happened in all our lives especially the kids of 80's and 90 's not the modern one's who are just tech savy brilliant and nothing else .

*** The times during rain  we would sit in front of the house with our family and have groundnuts with smiles and fun chat.
*** The beautiful summer vacation with family where we would prepare for the trip weeks before to have all our dreams 
*** Sundays when we would hear balloon sounds and run and pick up the colour we like and play with it with our siblings 
***Almost  having a sound  sleep  yet  knowing  the beautiful cuddling of our mother on our forehead .
*** The birthdays with new dresses ,the auspicious days with us looking forward to the countless special programs .
*** The School day functions with endless fun with smile ,food and eventually returning home late to feel as a hero .
*** The times when we used to score less and go to mom fearing dad only to  end up being screwed up by both  
*** The times we used to run after our first crush knowingly that they will never ever remember you as someone they saw in their lives 
***  The time we went out with opposite gender in a group feeling it to be as a first date --- unparalled childish happiness 
*** The little surprises we give our close circle during special occasions birthdays or weedends etc-- the childish fun of seeing their sudden happiness always left a wonderful memory for life.

                       Those times just get buried as we get older with every new responsibility. 

 Life Now !!
And Fast forward life to now ppl in the late 20,s and 30's the general feelings for  us is like

*** I  have to be responsible about everything in life ,I'm not a child anymore
*** Birthdays are just another day in life ,there is nothing special abt it anymore ,,not on our birthdays neither it is for our closed circle.
*** Can't take a vacation for the next 3 years --have to save now itself 
*** Should book tickets to see mom and dad  for this  diwali or christmas 
*** No time to see friends or make a call even on weekends 
*** No time to sit and talk with our wife/kids
*** Have to work overtime to meet all ends up 
*** Have to buy a house and a car to satisfy the society and the relatives 
*** Have to plan to earn for next 25 years to meet the housing loans ,personal loans and what not .
                                                                      
                                                  Let me ask the simple question even i ask myself to no proper answers ,
Why do we live a life where we can't let our childish wishes every now and then ,After all we don't live for our loans ,,we don't want to know our parents suffered of our physical absence during difficult times ,we don't have to make our friends feel bad during their tough times and many of us still long deep inside our hearts to celebrate or to be part of celebration on birthdays ---our bodies age but our hearts never does -and within every one of us there is a child that wishes you to every now and then not become so responsbile and lost.                
                                                  Life in your past and present has one common factor that underlines everything ---"YOU" ---Its never late to change what you are going through ---forget the problems ,responsibilities thrust upon you (it was there before you and it will be there long after you are gone:P:P ) -just enjoy being yourself because there will never ever be one like you .

 As Always a quote i read sumwhere 
"Life is really simple --it is us who try to make it as complicated as possible !!!!

  
                                                   
                              

                                      
                                                     



                                             

 


 

Over Expectations --- >Posessiveness --- >Disappointments --- >Lost Happiness !!!

                         " When over expectations barge in --real happiness slowly barges out "
                                                                
                                                                I guess most of us would have gone through a real life experience with someone in life --that we feel for a short span of time as if this life is too short to spend time with this person ---but suddenly as time passes by and we get close with them we start to feel something missing --something slowly feeling different ---while we search for the right answer the relationship turns bit sour due to some reason and ends up with a unanswered  question  with that  beautiful soul " Why something that appeared heavenly had to end up suddenly like a flower being blown away by a cyclone "

Many  Years Back ,
                                                                I had a sister like a friend who was one year younger to me who i met suddenly to feel instantly a happiness of meeting someone i probably missed so long in life --someone seemingly with my same wavelength --same sense of humour --same and more of what i wished i could be ---it was some of the best times i spent with her --the childish fun ,,the endless pulling down each other --for some time she was so close to me that i thought i had a unborn sister with me for life --until something started changing --there were needless fights --arguements ---childish topics taken seriously and i was the one who was starting to feel lot disappointed ---for her not being the person i thought she was ---i had sleepless nights --questioning why she could not be the person i expected her to be ---that single thought actually was the catalyst that slowly buried a beautiful relationship because of one thing above everything ---my unwanted "Over Expectation" of wanting her to be someone else than the person i felt so connected in a instance ,

       "Painful memories are sometimes beautiful memories you desert with wonderful souls because of a demon called "Over -Expectations "

                                                                 In real we never know when this journey of ours will end --but what makes this journey so wonderful ,memorable and worth all the struggle is the beautiful souls our heart chooses our of happiness to be our  brothers ,sisters, friends ,and most importantly our life partner .The time we spend in this world might be limited but such souls fill our lives with unlimited joy --unless we all find a way to a  sleeping demon in each of us --"Expectations "--When we get close with someone our expectations sky rocket into "over" territory so much so we start to get possesive about them --its a download spiral from there --leading to countless disappointments -ending up in us searchin for real happiness that the relationship promised to us in the beginning.

                                                                Long  back i remember walking along with a inspirational friend of me whose words  as time goes by seems more and more like a shining beacon during my dark times

              " I have had countless disappointments in life -im a motherless child -a daughter deserted by a heartless father --yet i found  beautiful love with people i met in life -some of them ended abruptly  ---yet i never feel burdened by those pains in my heart because every relationship that has ended for me has taught me a lesson -the biggest lesson i learnt is always have a tiny little gap between the person u love most  ---a small distance always that will always make you understand your happiness ends when you forget that distance by our high expectations --there starts the disappointment which ends in lost happiness--i never have high expectations because 

                 "Not everyday you wake up to see a rainbow but when you see it make sure it is being watched by a happy you "

                                                    
        
             



























                                                                  

Follow Your Heart --It Will Lead You To Your Dreams !!

           "Life is the only place where you can live your dreams and you don't have endless time to do that -  Follow your heart they will lead you to your dreams  "
                                         
                                                       Recently i happened to have a casual conversation with a known frd whose brother had completed 12 th and had passed out with 80 percent marks ,i just quote down our conversation 
  
          Me-- So how did your brother fare in his exams ?i hope all went well
         Frd -- Ya buddy by God's Grace he passed out in flying colours ,he secured 80 %
          Me -- Great ,What Next ?What does he want to do ?
         Frd  -- We already planned for him to study Mech Engg in (he mentioned a reputed college name ) ,so we will put him there.
          Me  -- So that is what he wants also right ?
          Frd   -- Me,Papa and mom all decided he should study this couple of years back ,,i think he wants this too ,,its a good college , he will get good job and get settled in life .After all we need a good name in society and setttled life na (Saying that he broke into a huge laugh tapping on my shoulder ).
           Me -- All i could give him was a uneasy smile with a troubled thought in mind dating back couple of decades back 
                  
        Year 1998 sometime( when life was wonderful with that unforgettable Sharjah Storm from Tendulkar --and not least about twelfth results :P)--i remember having a conversation with few frds when entrance marks were out (the NEET then ).

        Randomly i quote the dialogues that i could remember that was spoken around me  then 

" Marks are out now i can be a engineer as my whole family wanted "
"I have got enough marks to apply for doctor as ppl around me wished"
"I dont have enough marks to get into college my father wanted me too "
"I will go to the college couple of you go to " and then i was asked what was i goin to do 
"Mech Engineer as my parents wished "

     
                                         Almost two decades later when i asked this guy what his brother wanted to do ---he's answering that "We already planned for him for a seemingly settled life and good name of the society "--Amazing nothing has changed the place i live around because of this rotten ,dead useless "SOCIETY"--I did not think then nor did i hear from one person then was what he really wanted to become .It has always been about society determining our future and ruining our childhood dreams .
                                        My parents never forced to me to chose engg --i was a abject failure in mechanical engineering though i passed out for name sake - Almost twenty years later i know i never wanted to do engineering because i was never good at studies,i loved something else in my life but i felt not being a loya; son to wonderful parents would leave me guilty for life when one word to my parents would have allowed me to go in search for my dreams . After all life doesn't gives you many opportunities in life .I remember one of my besties  quoting long time

    " In Life there will be a moment when you have to make a jump in faith towards your untold
      childhood dreams --Faith because even if you fail you will keep trying to reach that destination 
      someday ,somehow--Thats the purpose of life ! "
                      
                                     I hope sincerely someday someone i meet few years down the line will say boldly the lines "he will become what he wants to"-- after all there is no joy in hearing and enjoying  something you so dearly want in life .

"Your Identity should always be what you want to be ---not what people around you wish you to be 
People who love you from heart will always allow you to follow yours" !!!

Cheers !!