Life After 25 -- Crushing Realities -- Fading Fantasies -- Yet The Fire Never Dies !!!!

      " The same table which i dined  with so many members now has only me
         The car which i drove with so many frds now seem waiting for me and me only
         Slight wrinkles --worried eyes --less hour on the mirrors than few years back
     Is this because i am thirty plus guy  now--is everythin of tht -or sumthing else ???
                                                  
                                                        This is what i had in my mind when i just saw few carefree 20 odd year guys having fun in a roadside shop--laughing ,passing on comments -enjoying as if that moment is made for them to ruin it ,,i was wondering myself whilst i never was that type i loved it when i saw the same scenes when my friends did tht few yrs back ,why does the world seems so much a changed place suddenly ?
                                                        
                                                    In reality age doesnt matter -what matters is how u accept realities !!--No joke -i have heard even my granpa at 80 describing his fantasies which made me laugh then but now i do understand probably heart never ages --body does but tht should never matter,,the next moment when u feel u cant fight for a dream then u r starting to die slowly --Thats precisely the challenge for   us as  every year goes by ,
                                                     
                                                         Till i was in my teens i felt i lived in a dream unfazed by what was happening around me --living in heaven probably because i had a angel as my mother --life seemed nothing short of beautiful ---into the 20s it was rude awakening --the first time i witnessed the meaning of death in this world as a inevitable component in our lives shook me up badly ---Mother's passing away left me in a haze for years trying to come to terms with the reality that life has a fixed period --a period fixed by god --all the more reason for the myth that my scary questions in life were propping up one by one creating harakiri --it took a long time to realise the reality of losing sumone you love is part of living life --understanding  it needed a big price and bigger lesson of valuing this life more --the beauty of ageing mattered most when i was in my latter 20's ,,where once beauty of opposite gender mattered - people mattered more now .
                                   
 You can find solace in crushing realities too !!!
                                                    Probably the most important factor that matters as you age is to accept the losses around you and inevitable loneliness that one may feel --the promises that friends make  to stay in touch in schools disappear when we finish schooling --the promise of stayin in touch between college mates stays maximum for a year after  in college frds --then life's responsibilities pushes everyone out of their wishes --marriage is all together big institution where only a mutual comfortable person is allowed as a friend and in most cases the chances are one or two out of whole bunch of friends --frdships thrown out of window not from hearts --once friends ppl remain frds in hearts forever ,then comes family factor

                                                  Everyone feels they have the best family till they are thrown out in their own in this world --the moment you begin your quest to search yourself --is the time your family starts to finds little things straining --small little happenings become big incidents --love becomes a huge back breaker --the moment u love sumone the whole family feels restrained to believe the simple happening of happiness of two hearts --family falls apart --though here too love remains but ego's take centre stage --work pressure ,insurmountable requisites from social needs all push us beyond our boundaries beyond realms of possibilities for no fault of us as individual (All this not from personal exp but from watchin close frds --as i have not been lucky enuf to exp love :P)
                                                      
                                                  But something that i firmly believe is "you can find solace in tough situations too"---my personal experience of watching some real life people grimly fighting beyond their abilities just to make the next day --fighting relentlessly against the tide --my dad still is keen to learn about life even closing on 70 with a failing physicality --all the more remarkable that nothing stops him from crossing new barriers --age is just a mere number if heart keeps goin because as i said heart never ages .

                                                 Yes its impossible to stay with childhood friends for long -yes its impossible to stop relationships from getting strained by happenings of fate and unfulfilled desires --yes the quest to search for more than what we go through pushes us far away from the expectations of people around us --life after 25 is the most diffult grim phase everyone has to grind out --the dreams --the fantasies - all seem to go through one after another --but the fire to fight all the inevitabliities never dies --because it always seems the greatest challenge to fight against something you are never in control off --every passing year helps in make us believe and trust in ourselves more --so in case if you were feeling bad for getting in wrong side of 25 --dont feel bad --u r surely in safer ground alrite--Way to go alrite !!!

 

நண்பனின் அன்பு !!!!

நண்பனின் அன்பு !!!!

தாயின் அன்பு தூய்மையானது !
தந்தையின் அன்பு கண்டிப்பானது !
உடன்பிறந்தவர்களின் அன்பு தவிர்க்கமுடியாதது!
மனைவியின் அன்பு எல்லைஅற்றது !
எந்த உறவும் அல்லாது துவண்டு இருக்கும் மனதிற்கு நம்பிக்கை தரும்
நண்பனின் அன்பு ஈடு இணையற்றது !!!

Dedicated to all my luvely pals (many of them whom i have lost touch)  whose memories i will cherish till my last !!!


 

Defining Achievement !!

                                                      **   My 125 th blog --An achievement of sorts for me personally --That is precisely the topic of my blog today --What does this word achievement mean actually "Does it mean a acknowledgement from people  for something u did ?-Is it a outcome of appreciations for something u did ?--Or is it something more --I feel  it is about "Satisfaction "--a simple  but significant factor  unnoticed because of our expectations."**

"There are no born losers in this world--Only die hard aspirers in this world --Sumday before our time runs out we will be achievers in our own rights "

  The Grocery women ;
                              Twenty years before when i was in my house --there used to be a joy on weekend early mornings --No School --Beautiful Mornings--Mrngs which dawned with the most beautiful woman i ever knew --My Mother waking me up with so many  things i love ---and me assisting her for whole day was the best job i loved during those days --That particular time every morning there used to be middle aged woman probably in her 40's used to come in mornings to sell groceries with all vegetables neatly arranged in a basket and selling it by carrying it over her head (something common during those years in my part of world )--and mom used to buy almost every day for simple reason she used to carry those heavy baskets  despite being on the heavier  side herself---and i saw that for yrs in my young days when eventually we kids grew up we started buying from markets directly she was forgotten slowly --Recently i visited my native place and accidentally saw  a old lady full of grey hair -with a slow walk -that  walk resembled of sumone i knew in my young years --That same grocery women --same basket --same work --nothing has changed except her body had aged --but she seemed relentless ,unperturbed doing what she did for probably past 50 years ---without appreciation that seemed a silent achievement --that despite all her troubles --she has kept doing what  life offered to her --of course there would have been regrets and lot of grimmaces but fact she must have grinded it out all her life has to be a remarkable achievement that even she will never recognise because our world is such ---acknowledgement and appreciation is often viewed as the main factors in recognising some achievement but the most significant factor is about how satisfied you are in sumthing --the more satisfied you are the more it feels like a achievement !!!

The Iron Willed Guy -Another instance ;
                               A  very close friend known for better part of last 10 years --went through endless turmoil --His dream was to become a Engineer --financial conditions forced to do a lesser degree --a serious accident seemingly crippled his dreams --a love marriage forced him to lose his own family members --all that was left was to throw into the towel and quit life ---that didnt happen though --the guy kept swimming against tide, against disappointment, against repeated failures --his fight was against fate --and he kept fighting --only recently after years of turmoil he eventually got rewarded by god for his relentless fighting spirit and spending entire life in disappointments even fate felt it was not fair to fight a gud human being anymore --as a friend and brother i felt it as a monumental achievement --but the person including underplayed it even though he was in untold ecstacy he was  grounded --i knew it was a achievement of a lifetime --but to  him it meant a deserved price from fate for never giving up while people around him were still busy in trying to find more chinks and flaws which only ego could find above anything --For me it was another instance where

   "A achievement went unnoticed --  like a inspirational story was written by fate with a inkless pen "
                           
                              There is undeniably many instances when we overlook sum of our own achievements for the supposedly missing factors --The single most important factor that should be and must be the only barometer in acknowledging a achievement is "SATISFACTION"-the level of satisfaction should be the only factor that pitimises any achievement --Obvious appreciation ---expressive applause among others should be motivating factors not the deciding factors --this is one life that you have been offered --you live on your terms for things that you love or like --sumtimes we find a way to accept failures and fight with what is given --almost every one of us make up for some failure by trying to find the light at the end of tunnel  by toiling relentlessly for years --My own life has thrown up innumerable experiences by watching people struggle for long time yet never give up --Achievement is often a misread concept as it is always corelated with appreciation ---The direct relation to achievement should be satisfaction --the two examples i quoted here in are just one among few i happen to notice --there are countless that i would have never even bothered to take notice --i feel it applies to every one of us --Next time when u feel urself as a failure ---just remember

        " Only a achiever  or one who aspires to achieve feels the real pain of a failure"

                                    If possible if you feel sumone deserves a pat for their fight dont hesitate to give them one --It might be the single biggest tonic for them to fight for years --There was a time when i used to wait for likes to feel good abt any status update in fb or any blog posts,news i shared --it doesnt happen anymore --125 th blogpost is nothing to brag about for a professional writer but for me it is a huge number --i feel "satisfied " that god has given me a platform to realise my passion ---i feel this as one of the biggest achievements of my life --"Satisfaction "is all that matters and  i have endless heartfelt gratitude to some remarkable ppl who have helped me reach this---So next time dont search for appreciation search for satisfaction !!

Cheers !!!



                            
                            
                    

Sivakarthikeyan --Brother - Friend - Terrific Stand Up Comedian,Anchor ,Actor --Above All A Great Human Being !!!

                                               SivaKarthikeyan --One of the very well known faces in my part of world especially for his terrific clean sense of humour --witty one liners --luvely mimicry skills -and for his lively anchoring in Vijay TV--in very sucessful programs like "Athu Ithu Ethu ",was someone i accidentally i met upon a few years before when i moved to Chennai --i actually happened to meet him in very late hours with lot of other people --i hardly took notice of him initially --we had few exchanges ,he seemd a simple humble person on first look --and later i got to know he was a junior from the school i studied in my native place and was from my native place ,,Trichy too .his best friends Iyyapan ,Sridhar all were very close brother like friends to me and we all used to meet up pretty regularly--and Siva never came across as a fast rising celebrity in making --He had a huge fan following --people loved the way he made comedy in a clean way --he never tried to hurt anyone's feelings yet turned up to be one of sucessful stand up comedians in our part of world,The foremost thing that stood was always his simplicity ---fame ,money --increasing attraction never seemd to make him a different person.
                                     

  An Incident from last year at New Woodlands Hotel  :
                                     During a small  bday  function last year --i had called upon Iyyapan and Sridhar to specially call Siva as a invitee to join in a family function --he immediately accepted and said would be there at the function (Here s a scoop fact --Siva has absolutely zero rememberance for roads in chennai ,:P)--It happend in New Woodland's hotel --and it was birthday function and Siva was late in joining in --but he eventually joined in when everyone were into dinner --He exchanged pleasantries with everyone --My dad who doesnt see much TV and acceptedly doesnt know about upcoming stars and ppl--he was less interested in those facts which i knew but what i didnt know was what followed --we all introduced Siva to Dad --and said this is Siva and said about his anchoring and him being a up and coming star --Dad said with blank expression coated with innocence -"I dont know about shows you are talking neither have i seen Siva in it "--I felt bit bit embarassed even though Dad was honest as ever everyone was blinking in slight embarassment ---Siva ever with presence of mind as silver lightning and unwavering respect for elders--came forward to dad and said "Its ok appa  -Just remember  me as your son from now on ---i dont have my father now with me  ---i consider u to be like my father --always consider me as a brother to your son thats all --Just consider me a son --Always "---I was for a moment startled and happy as hell that someone could solve a tricky little embarassment with a truth which  everyone welcomed with a smile --Such was the charisma of the guy --always coated with humbleness respect and sincerity even in delicate situations .Ppl always interested me in life --People who respected values in life --who respected life in right vein --who were prepared to fight odds despite having the huge pain of living with a single parent from young age --I know how it feels as i lost my wonderous mother at very young age .I knew then i knew someone who would never act in life !!

With Iyyapan ,Sridhar and Siva last yr

                                 If i want to give links to some of his masterpieces in television then it would be endless --there are lots and lots of shows where he was fantastic --simple --admirable and always with a luvely sense of humour ---to be frank i have not watched all his shows --just few but i know him as a person --and he is one of the nicest persons i have ever known --Yesterday went to his latest movie "Ethir Neechal "-and i just felt happy for him as a person --With decent reviews and  even more stardom approaching him --one thing you could always be sure of Siva is --nothing will affect his basics and nothing will change him as a person --he remains a supportive frd to his best frds of yesteryears -he respects people with same humbleness and approaches everythin with same sincerity tht has made him a star to reckon --When i came out of the theatre a full house night show --i could see people admiring the actor --and i felt even more happier because i know him as a person who never acts in real life ,there can be no better tribute to him than this last line of mine and he richly deserves this .

                              "To Siva --Wishing you all the best brother--Keep Entertaining- Be always the Siva we know -love  !!! "

             A  couple of sample from his shows 
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_28YYAJCWg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyLW4wrq7lo
Cheers !!

Rita Gigante -An Inspiring Story !!!

 Here  is what my blog is about ---    http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/people/A-daughters-redemption/articleshow/19894427.cms     
   
                                             I had read about this particular person Miss .Rita Gigante a couple of times in the last few months --the first time i read about in her article in a monthly magazine i was thinking another flashy story to fill up the pages --But when i read through that article it seemed lot different and lot inspiring ---I never had any urge about reading about history regarding crimes or mafias --but i got to know there was a book named "The Godfather's Daughter "by Natasha Stoynoff --I went about trying to find synopsis of that book on internet and read few articles about Rita --it was inspiring enough because it was to me a different kind of braveness ,Something not everyone could do --but everyone should try to do --This person  was born to a one of the biggest crime bosses "Vincent Gigante " acknowledged to be one of the biggest crime boss in America .A few Excerpts from Times of India edition (05.05.13)

                                   Rita Gigante's family looked like any other Italian Catholic family in suburban New Jersey. But there was a difference. Her father was the notorious crime boss Vincent Gigante, the head of all five New York crime families, 1950s onwards. Gigante was officially recognised as the most powerful crime boss in the US, and was dubbed "chin" by the press. However, his daughter, Rita, made a choice to live differently; she dedicated her adult life to healing people spiritually, emotionally, and physically. She also mustered enough courage to come out with her homosexual identity, despite her conservative Italian-Catholic upbringing, not to mention being raised in a mafia household. In her recent book titled, The Godfather's Daughter, Rita writes extensively about her journey from innocence to a harsh cold reality that made her doubt everything about herself, and life.
            Here's why i feel it is inspiring story
          ** She defies and changes the life offered by her dad obviously for it being wrong -it still takes courage for any son/daughter to accept their father as wrong person
          ** She was bold enough to accept she was homosexual --coming out with truth about sexual orientation is no easy deal anywhere in the world --I live in India where it is still thought being Lesbian/Gay is a disease ,unforgiveable sin--(I had previously written a blog where a person claimed it as  disease )
          ** She has taken upto healing people as a profession and life long work --appreciable considering her background which was only built on people's fear --to come out boldy against the same and make it as a chosen profession is a amazing thing to do
          ** She has chosen to live a life of her choice and with the main aim of not cheting herself despite having endless wealth ,power and option to have been a different personality if she had chosen a different path against her heart .
         ** She shows remarkable understanding on the importance of forgiveness and her lines shows she has substance to go along with the path she has chosen --A quote from her in the daily today morning read like the following on question about miracles --she has said

                        " When clients accept the truth about their lives — no matter how hard — and still love themselves unconditionally, it's a miracle. To be able to forgive yourself and to be non-judgmental is also a kind of miracle. I see all these kinds of miracles on a daily basis"
                  -
                            Autobiographies and self confessions always seemed appealing to me because they are from true experience of life --of people accepting mistakes and coming out with suggestions to people not to repeat what they went through-- seems the best example anyone could wish to follow according to me --though im yet to read the full book --whatever i read has surely made me realise one thing clear that Rita Gigante's life is one another example of why "You should go by your heart --Its the best way u will never hurt yourself "

Cheers

                                 

That Glitter In A Girl's Eyes !!!

             (Dedicated to one of my best friends Anu Singh --who got engaged recently )

                     "When a girl gets engaged she officially becomes a woman in a moment "

When my sister got married i felt like -
                          " Till yesterday she was tht little girl ---that best friend --that pleading ,shouting sister - In a moment just like that she got engaged and wow what a glitter in eyes --she seems grown up--  From a girl to a woman in matter of moments --thats what great about women --they can be any form u wish them to be in the blink of a eye "
 
                                                      I have been personally witnessing some moments where my sisters just with the snap of finger went from being a silly little girl i knew for years into a woman ready to take her plight to another level --and every time it has been nothing short of amazing watching how a girl steps up to her destined responsibility --most noticeably doing that with ---"that glitter in their eyes "
                                                    I always wondered how does that glitter come in a moment -Maybe this quote which i read few years back answers that (Im still a single guy to exactly pen down the feeling as such of why tht ecstacy happens in a moment for a guy or girl)
.
           " A girl's destiny lies in the person she chooses --A guys destiny begins with his girl "
                                                    
        One Poignant Moment in the summer of  April 2008 ;
                                                    I had attended quite a few weddings along the way till that month --but that month was precisely the time i realised and visualised in reality of how a girl transforms into a responsible woman in a moment --My Sister who i had shared 25 years of life from her beginning took that leap in front of my eyes --Marriages are given huge respect in our part of world moresoever than many places around the world --and i could see why --Girls give that a artistical finesse that noone could imagine with their eyes expressing extraordinary feelings towards people who have meant lot to her in life till that point of time and at the same time showing a air of positive expectancy towards people she would share the rest of her life --I still remember vividly seeing tears and happiness in her eyes when she was about to walk out of "our" house to "her" house ---"That Glitter "in her eyes conveyed hell a lot . I felt "Thats it "She has began her destiny --No more the little girl i knew for 25 years --Often tears are acknowledgement of your true feelings --sumtimes out of happiness you do have tears --i could have written a thousand words in tht single moment of seeing the amazing adaptibility and transformation of a girl .Five years later i still remember vividly that single poignant moment which showed me a phase of life i never knew --Feeling happiness by genuinely seeing someone u love ready to move on to next part of her life happily.

                                                     The plain truth or matter of fact is life is of course surrounded by hell a lot of disappointing moments --some depressing even --but it is such moments when u witness happiness in its true essence do u realise that you struggle for a reason worth struggling for --There is a reason why we are surrounded by woman around us --in the form of sisters-some friends where relationship has been strictly platonic --(and yes strictly it is possible!!! ) give us this happiness to behold for a lifetime --Long time back i remember a frd of mine quoting this in simple terms --

"When you have tears and smile at same time fighting each other to express true happiness--you know you have been part of a unforgettable memory "--Unforgettable memory are what that glitter is all about i suppose .
  
 A few lines about the heroine of this blog --one of my bestest friends -Anu Singh
                                                  Online friendship has given me plenty to cheer about in my life --Some great people i never saw which never mattered  at all --Distance never mattered for years --Mutual Happiness Did! -Anu Singh was one of the best frds any frd could have yearned --both as a supportive friend  and a amazing human being -As a humble  person and unparalled queen of simplicity --MDTE as i used to fondly call her stands in the doorstep of stepping into her destiny with another wonderful person --Wishing you all the best ahead in life and may ur destiny bring happiness to lot,lots other people in this world  as it did to me which no words could convey .
One of the happiest nights draws close with tears and smile visualising that " glitter " soon to be in one of my best mates eyes :):)
( Special Mention  to my sisters Rajeswari Srinivas,Archana Karthikeyan  as their big day memories played a significant part in penning down what i actually wanted )
Cheers
C ya soon .
Cheers
                

                                
                
                       

 

Facebook Is A Boon Not A Bane !!!

"  If only we realise facebook is just a media to spread happiness and a way to stay in touch with our loved ones who live far away  "
              
                                "I dumped her before she could even think abt tht "--my frd said to me yesterday morning --i quizzed back What ,,When ,How and Why ?--he replied "Just Now --In facebook "--I was like R u Kidding me --In facebook ????--he said yes we had a chat abt couple of status messages i put up after a misunderstanding we had few days back--she showed lot of attitude back and i decided thats that --i unfriended her sending her message that it is all over "

                                  ----This was a conversation  i had about  two people who loved long before they came into facebook and ended it for  a prolonged exchanges of status messages ,It baffled me to believe they  it ended in facebook ,because facebook can be used to bridge so many distant souls that yearn to feel true happiness !!!!

Facebook a Boon alrite
                                        My Schooling got over around 15 years back ---As is case of many of us --our journey begins after school life --we all move in different directions in search of our destiny --This facebook is a boon to people who keep running --we are almost out of touch from most of our close friends --Facebook enables us to keep in touch with all those people --Helps us create  a feeling that we are not completely lost from our dear ones --and all of us are scattered in different parts of the world --My best friends live thousand miles apart --and some of my schoolmates libe in places like America and New Zealand --the probablilty of meeting them is next to zero added most of them have young families ---When i see the pictures of those it makes me feel lot better that atleast i know that they exist far apart but seem so close by Face Book --When something brings you happiness and wonderful memories it should be a boon alrite without question or is it ?

Facebook  is a source of social networking -- was always meant to be so !!

But what really transpires --Plz read on

                                      People seemingly have developed new habits of using(misusing should i say) facebook non stop ---As one of my friends quoted

            "You cant find a single regular visitor to facebook who has not deactivated his account atleast once "(I have done that probably countless times after certain frustrations)

                               *    When u get angry on sumone --Boom there is a status update cursing them

                               *   When two people have misunderstanding --Facebook seems to be the mode to show who is bigger of the two --supposedly of countless silly messages indirectly mentioning each other .
                                *    When people hate certain people /community /group --they use facebook as a source to strengthen their claims --A certain clear example is of the posts i read about Being Atheist -- at the end of day  isnt it just about belief ?--People who believe there is god are Theist people who dont are Atheist --some of my best frds are atheist and im strict God believer ---i find it increasingly difficult to read posts of  one group tryin to show with example that they are righteous than other -
                          "THAT WE EXIST TOGETHER AS FRIENDS ,PARTNERS ,COLLEAGUES DESPITE ALL THIS IS ENOUGH PROOF THAT ALL THIS  IS NOTHING BUT WASTING OUR PRECIOUS TIME ARGUING NEEDLESSLY"

                              * Another Example ---A Group being started in the name of Dhoni Haters and people fighting the hell out of each other using derogatory words against ppl involved and everyone --sumtimes it borders on the level of extreme levels of atrocity --(Im not a avid Dhoni Follower --But just quoting a example of how it is being misused by people to stress personal hatred or anger on sumone they dont like )
  
      
 My Perespective ;
                           I remember aquote

                                            "Life is like a mirror -- If the mirror is a reflection of what you are ---things you do actually show what sort of person you are "

                                              "Facebook will be what you want it to be ---whether you want to look it as a garbage or a beautiful garden of efferevescent flowers is in our hands --If you have a misunderstanding why not talk directly ?--if u have disappointments why not have patience to overcome those moments --if u dislike a person why not it be a individual feeling --why do we need approval of others to strengthen each and every thing we feel right ---Facebook was not created to prove that we are better than others --it is not a source to prove sumbody is inferior or sumbody is superior ---It is not a site which holds a placard which says "Come throw your garbage on me "--The why this endless ,supposedly restless fights to prove who is better than other using facebook ---After all we are already doing that in our day to day life --Egos ,fights ,anger ,explicit language seems to be everywhere in our lives already why include that in facebook  too ?"

                                            Let facebook be a social networking site that is meant to connect people across the world --to share happiness ---to smile for right reasons --to stay in touch with our school mates  who played with us as  kids -to stay in touch with people whom we are far awat -there are not too many ways to know how happy they r other than these kind of networks---to ruin it ot live happily with  it rest in our hands .

( This is strictly my perspective after experiencing both sides of what i have mentioned --i have been part of both sides ---i have misused facebook as a media to vent my frustration on the other hand i have had some amazing magical moments to behold for life --I feel that Facebook could be better used for people to spread  more happiness because it is a great boon for people all around --Anything mentioned that hurts sentiments of certain people is highly regretted as it is not the  purpose of this blog )

Cheers