"Dads are wonderful in their own unique ways"

                           "HE DID NOT TEACH ME HOW  TO LIVE ,
                             HE JUST LIVED AND LET ME GROW  WATCHING IT"---These are lines i read sumwhere and related it with dads in general --while every one of us enjoy the role of our mothers ,,most of us forget the role of dads in our lives ,Infact i have been blessed to be born to two people who had been just born to be with each other albeit for a short time --in the most wonderful way god wished ,,i have never appreciated dad being an important shining light in my life because hes been himself underplaying his role
                                                  Without dads-  life in general will have no direction,,for every kid tht is born the first inspiration is always their dad--especially for boys its always dads who are the first inspiration--life's first sign post starts from them ,,,they dont come to final destination but they show us the way ,,walk along with us with their "dream torch" passed to our hands  ,,see us run towards our goals with glee and slowly they fade away as we keep running to pass  our torch to the next generation,
                                                   I was goin through my old albums --i could see how beautifully dad has aged and taken along with him the pains of living alone in old age ,,settlin  his kids lives in their marriages and future  all alone with medical issues due to a  cruel paralytic stroke --he still had the same heart which he built a empire all alone -with moms moral support ,,i feared life derailing when mom passed   awaybut evn then this man stood like a rock unperturbed --his goal was unfinshed ,,his family was unaware of their paths ,,he guided them with heart of steel with a crumbling body ----sometimes true grit is never realised --every fathers struggle to settle their kids lives is a achievement to behold --but we take them for granted that its his duty hes doin--it aint tht simple ,,we wont realise until we be one to know what it is
                                                 " Every one can become a father --but not everyone can be a true dad",,tht word means lot of pressures and countless sacrifices ,,My father has been a shining light  to my future ,,in a way i knew where my future was heading when i was very young ,,i always said to myself i would be a sucessful person if i achieved half of what my great dad achieved in his life,,today hes a old man with wise brains ,,more anger sumtimes but beyond everythin hes still the same man with same guts and same love,,the awe tht i had 25 years back is still there seeing how he has managed so much with just grit in his heart ,,im still in amazement of how he overcame 48 hrs doctor gave him to survive 3 years back ,,he returned back from jaws of death with  vengenance ,,the stroke crippled him physically but he became more gritty --he settled my sisters life with a grand marriage for her  next yr ,,the following year saw my brother get settled similarly ,,nows he a grandfather ,,he still has justone more duty  which i will oblige when time arises
                                               There was a time in my life sum years before when i had the tough choice of choosin sumone which pointed to everlasting happiness or choose to prevent my fathers magnificent kingdom from crumbling and broken to pieces by my one decision--i thought deeply  and gave up my dreams for if it would mean to destroy my wonderful dads 50 years of  spell binding dedication, sincerity and dignity ,,itwould mean i would have got happiness i desired and lost my dad to tht as a price ,,i did not do tht ,,while there is nothin to be proud of tht ,,every son and daughter in world would have done sumthing to make their dad proud in their own way of sacrifices ,what i did was i was not a hindrance in my dads relentless march against fate and destiny with just grit and heart to counter it ,,it would have been destroyed had i slipped tht moment,my dad meant so much to me more than my world because of what a wunderful life he lived with the sole aim of having a life with no black marks,,and seeing him fighting odds with so much trouble made me realise he was far worth than my happiness which i do feel as long as hes there will be returned to me in sum other form so it doesnt seem to be a loss because i still know papa will do sumthin to make my life better than what i perceived --every dad does tht for their kids--some realise --some dont!!
                                                   15 years and more  i have been following his wishes in business  ,,and continue to do so till hes with me ,,he wont be with me forever but as long as hes with me i will make sure it will  make him feel hes living the life he wanted to show his kids to follow ,,thts what every son and daughter in the world will want their dads to be so --A royal salute to dads who are always so wunderful in their own unique ways!!!!

"Start Accepting People As They Are "!!

                                                                 

                                                                There is this problem that i have been tryin to rectify for long--i have seen it commonly in many frds and ppl --u get to know sumone ,then u love them ,,u get close with them ,,u enjoy your time with them like there is no tommorow ,,then u slowly expect them to change according to your requisites, and when it obviously doesnt happen -egos,questions,,attitude ,,everythin arises out of nowhere ,,,we forget sumthing --"we loved them because they were already so",,because it appeared likable to us we chose them  ---but where was the necessity for us to expect them to change for the sake for us to feel happier?that is sadly a question we fear to ask ourselves ,,because we know we would be found guilty,,"Everybody cant be right --accepted --neither can we be right always --life evens out" --when we start to accept tht ,,life becomes better and sumtimes beautiful if not always

                                                             I still have lot of ego not as much as i had few years before but life has taught me if i have more ego then i will  be left only with that and not with people whom i love ,,there is this wonderful girl i love as a friend -probably i have never loved any other girl as friend as much i do with her ,,because i have hated her so many times for close to 3 years tried to leave her but never could ,,i was surprised when she said the same to me today  --then only i realised that i have started to accept her as she is so that i feel she can never be away from me or neither can i be -as best friends for life  --the reason lies in acceptin sumone as they are than waitin for sumone to change for your satisfaction ,they never should because u did not choose them believin they will change for ur likin and satisfaction,u loved them for what they were and let them be so for life--period!!

                                                          For long i have choosed my buddies carefully,,but i have carelessly lost many of them of the same reason where expectancy outdoes the need for acceptance ,,,and this is especially true in the case of our friends ,,,Buddies set aside for a minute our families and think about your friends --
"in most cases they get nothing being our friends" ,,but we expect them to be sumthing better than what they already are ,,,its a precious life out there ,,"We are born alone - we die alone --we r allowed to stay together only in our time in this world" --Do we want to ruin it for our never ending expectations to b met in the affirmative? do we need to fall a prey to this greed? I wont be a example or certainly not   a trend setter for future people --i myself have been a abject failure in this --because by the time i realised this --i have lost countless people to this--and many of them can never be retrieved,,whilst i never regret what has gone in my life i cant refuse the fact it could have been better

                                                         Beyond all this there was a this tough chat i had yesterday  with one of my best friends who was crestfallen by situations already-- felt let down by me for being guilty of expecting him to change for my happiness and necessity ,,through his words i could feel the pain of a true friend hurt by my expectancy-- instead of accepting him as he was and run to his need at his hour of need --i was waiting and doing nothing,,though he had the heart to forgive my mistake,,it showed clearly where the fault was and what the fault was 

                                                      When u cross 25 u will damn sure know u cant satisfy or fulfill every frd of urs u have then because the number of friends will dwindle so fast once u cross 25 to  a extent where the numbers of frds can be counted in fingers of your one hand!!lets not lose the precious beautiful people left in our lives then ,,, In this life there are only two choices u make --one your life partner and another ur frds for life---from my personal experience for a  better and happier life

   "Stop expecting and Start Accepting people as they are "--Life will be better if not beautiful --its all in our hands !!!

Life Goes On!!!

                                                           Every human beings lives in this world will be decorated by special human beings other than our family,,,for our family it is a duty --but for certain other special people i have wondered  what is it tht makes  our life look more than what it is for them ?Love --probably Yes ,,friends---probably No,that is my perspective --not general--and i have added the word probably not surely ,,,well,,today was one of the darkest days of my life,,not that life throws just one such day --its one among many --my heart was lost ,,my eyes was rolled to skies ,,my head was spinning backwards,,the pain felt insurmountable--  My sister Deepa Ravikumar & My  Gud frds Manju ,Sandeep  all tried their  best to make me feel  alrite with what less time they had despite their busy work times,Im thankful to everyone of them no ends :) (Vasanth ,Mathi,Nirmal -had fun in their own inimicable way --its after all with ur frd --brother and mate who else u can have fun-enjoyed tht too budies-luv u all !!)

                                                          But beyond all this there were desperation ,,disappointment,,,struggles to shake off the humiliation and embarassment and heart prickin incidents of yesterday,,, i thought "throw in the towel and quit probably ?I cant stand this --im feelin bad ,,endless thoughts ,,endless pains ,Its when i  accidentally saw a mail written by sumone --5 yrs back --She is the inspiration behind my words other than my mom--she was the reason for me havin few very good mates in girls ,,,she is the reason probably im still single too!!  --maybe i was unfair with her ,,i never understood the meaning of the mail then  --in which she had hidden pain in words coated with fun--i could today realise the magnamity of  what  her pain was  -- Pain in heart  is a worse disease if unattended--it will stay on for life -the reason might differ but the meanings are same --i could not sleep yesterday --whilst i dont want to open up whats the stuff was about--its just a run a mill stuff of every over 25s life--but u learn in life things the hard way,let me quote lines from tht mail which mirror my exact situation now in words 

                                                       "Yes i was humiliated,,yes im embarassed ,,yes i felt bad ,,but it is what life is all about Shanmu(there are only 3 ppl who call me tht way ) --i want to die today after hearin the word i never wanted to hear  but i got a question ---Why run after death?--it will come one day surely ,,instead run after ur goals,,run after the one thing u want most ---before your time runs out !,"my whole life is in front of me ,,but i m already wounded --im already handicapped by fate,,my destinations seems unreachable !!,what should i do now? My answer "Just keep running as much as u can ---if u do fall sumwhere who knows god might be sending you sumone with a stretcher to carry u to your destination,,but if i sit with pain without running towards my goal how will god know im after what i want desperately "--These are not my lines --copy pasted cleanly,lol

                                                   How right she was then,,    Today if i quit ,,not only God ,,my close ppl wont know what im runnin for !! Yes i understand  quitting is the easy way out of all the miseries of this world ,,but the purpose of my life ? ,,the goals i have set for myself ,,the ppl i want to see bfore my time runs out,,the angel who might be waiting for me to take her alongwith my travails of life--what will happen to all this and more  ??It will be like  a book with just introduction and just blank pages after tht  ,i feel gutted tht i cant say this holding sumones hands or  lying on sumone shoulders ,But beyond everythin Life Goes On ( i feel like im holding her hands and sayin this "Im not quitting today because i have decided to run even though im wounded badly  "

Moms --True Angels from God !!!

                                                 I had this tough arguement with  one of my best friends in girls -and it brought out sumthin from me --i said to her "if my mom was alive i would have never needed to explain myself to my  close ppl  as i am doing now"--tht was a instant statement but it hit me hard-- it was plain truth i felt at the moment --Where does mom come inbetween a explantion with my close friend ? --and that too nearly nine years since she left me ???

                                                It was tht sort of mom i had --she lived for 42 years--42 beautiful years of which i could see only 20 of them ---the amount of fights ,,the amount of arguements ,,the amount of break ups i have and had in my life makes me wonder how come my mom --who was always in limelight never had anyone cursin her or shoutin her or fightin with her for 20 yrs ?i cant remember in these nine years one person coming up to me and say oh ur mom was bad--or any negative remark at all abt her ,,can it be true ?

                                               It is true --u try your might --"for me moms are the angels god sent to earth to make us realise how  beautiful life is" for all those people who are reading this i request you one thing-- Respect your mom when shes with you  because  the  true meaning of love  is best represented from  the word "mom",remember they see you change from one way to another till their last --we keep on changing--but they have unbridled love for their kids -i do believe they alone show "unconditional love" in this world ,every  other relationship will have some form of barrier -they never change --they teach you life in the way you understand --we keep on changing --in our lives moms "Change from being the person we love most -- to the person whom we need to love-- to the person who could be loved when needed--  to finally the person we should have loved more" !!!

                                           I was a shy young boy who saw the world through my moms eyes --i hated to see through mines because i always felt comfortable seeing through hers ,,during her last days when things were very bad --when i was all of 20 knowing nothing what life is going to throw at me ,,i was with her in her last few months --She always foresaw things in life,,she knew her end was nearing and she wanted to teach me abt life in  a way i can understand--she asked me what was purpose of life?what im goin to do after college ?what i will do in a world where i had noone?will i take care of dad? she asked me lot of questions ---she knew this son was not capable of answerin them then,,but sumday i will realise tht these questions needed to be answered if im a  son she visualised to be!!the life after her was treacherous and i slowly got the writing on the wall,,tht i needed to answer my questions ---now i stand at a juncture in my life where i might be able to answer in affirmative to all the questions my mom asked tht day--i understood though its a tough long process --it was her questions tht day made me think about my life--the meaning of my life.

                                        Im not a sucess story by any means now --nor im the son she visualised because i never gave her a opportunity to say what she wants from this lame son who felt happiness just by being sumone in this world rather than being sumone whom my mom wanted,,,Whatever i do now i can only imagine she might have thought this or tht but never certain because i innocently ignored her when she was with me --now im just talkin to her in my dreams and prayers,She never let me know she was crying tht her son let her down,,she never spoke harsh word abt me bein a careless son,,she never explained the pain she had everytime her son failed --and kept failin till her last --My mom believed tht sumday i will answer all her questions --the thing she did not know was it will be long after she had gone !!

                                    While im writing this i just  lived my moments with my mom for few seconds in my mind  --it was beautiful because moms are just wonderful ---whilst they live with you cherish them --cherish the moments with them ---and for once in a while sit with them and talk with them --give them a opportunity to let yourselves know what they want --never mind u not doing tht ---give them atleast the satisfaction tht u realise they show u love like none,,even when the world grows increasingly mechanic -there is one word tht  never becomes mechanic --it always remains the most wonderful relationship god sent u to realise Life is beautiful-The word "MOM"

                                   She was ,is and and will remain the most beautiful person i had in my life ,,her smile ,,her wunderful heart ,her amazing helping nature ,,her care towards strangers ,,her affection to her family ,,her never ending belief on her son --it made me what im today  --her fighting qualities ,,with all this great happy things i do remember tht i had this wunderful human being in my life but never realised it till she left ,my purpose of writing this blog is for all my buddies and unknown frds who read this realise u also will be having a wunderful mom like i had --u need to know certain things i knew after my mom left--moms change in the way they look but all moms have same nature and pinch of god in them --thts for sure !!

                                  (As for the arguement i had with the friend it ended with me swearin on my mom sayin i will never leave her --again i realised unknowingly the ppl i love i will never let go because maybe sumwhere above mom is throwin questions believing i might answer sumday--I will try mom--Miss U--love u forever )

                                              

The Need for the"Golden List" and negative side of being "Too attached"!!

                                                   I have been the best friend of the groom or bride in nearly 15 marriages till date--while for certain time it appeared like i was on top of the world --the potholes and pressures of being sumone important is far heavier than it first appears ,,the truth or the real fact is we never know what is self sufficient generally --we try to recreate the happier moments --that leads to our free will goin to extend of doin anything to achieve that ,,now by doin that the danger is you are allowing yourself to get too attached with a particular person beyond the borders of comfortability between the two
                                                  I say this from personal experience --i have had countless friends few yrs back,,and i can even now say that i enjoyed every moment being the guy they and their families loved to have at all possible times ,,as time went responsibilty ,commitment ,,business pressures ,and life introduced to various unpredicabilities the role of being sumbodys goto man became huge pressure ,,so much so desperation set in to get myself out of certain quarters ,,thts when i realised being attached has its own burdens
                                                Born in a very small family -and not having enuf exposures with life as such in the intial part made me goto innumerous people and families ,,but then if life is that easy then everyone will be a winner but eventually it is not and life ends up winner ,,,i realised that slowly getting out one by one by fate ,sum by own admission of negligence ,,the aftermaths of all those were terribly painful ,,The biggest problems in being attached is possesiveness ,,i made a personal blunder by doing a couple of register marriages to my friends which eventually turned sucessful but not enuf attention to them due to personal needs led to eventual break up in frdship
                                             My best buddies were the ones i never saw or the ones i rarely saw -i put them in my diary as "The Golden List"-it gave me a clear picture of where im heading--u try ur might --the farther u are in seein ppl the brighter are ur chances for a happier relationship,,,be it my best frd in girls or guys i dont see them at all ,,the best girl i wished to be more than a friend never lived near me ,,and some the best mates i have now dont know how i look in real --but the peace of having these people as the goto people is sumthing a answer to the question--do we need to see ppl to feel attached ?---my answer is a big NO--My best soulmates live in Delhi,Haryana ,Jaipur,London,   and one soon in Sri lanka --I live in Chennai ---To me tht answers whether i did the right thing by choosing them as my final destination guys or to have chosen the ones i meet regularly in Chennai,The need for the list is it determines in part where u r heading -they are very important for every individual --the number might differ but truth remains same--U NEED THEM
                                                Recently i had a break up with my friend for 4 long years -not my close friend --but a decent friend --her quarrel was i did not find time as before and was not understanding her feelings  --my answer was silence --sumtimes u have to let go ur expectations ,let go ur love,,let go ur feelings in frdship ,,,it is then u will love and trust sumone wholly and truly -being attached without knowing the other person in whole  leaves ur future in the relationship in tatters --i mean attached bit too much than comfort zones preferred --"in most cses the person will hate him for being the one in needy and hate u as the reason for that" and then starts the pain which has no cure
                                          I have had enemies --lot of them --due to jealousy ,job oriented ,by various factors,,but in a whole picture they r not dangerous because ur future is not dependant on them ,they dont cause pain,,heartache or lifelong pain tht can never be overcome --because the ones who are overly attached with u without knowing u are the ones u should fear off   from my personal experience its always better to have a border drawn in attachment of ppl ,,,a border that u must allow only selct people to cross and not everyone --be prepared to deny them by being kindly polite but be sure u deny them ,

                                        Its no big deal in sayin you have countless people to show who u are -- To me even if the COUNT IS LESS --u should have people to show who they are when u need them ,,,it took me 10 yrs to know tht --i wanna know sumone reading this out there ,,,u dont need  10 yrs if u carefully listen and select ur golden list of ppl who will be with u till ur final destinations --"they are the signboards to the ur future!!!"

"Being Ordinary day in and day out ---is Extraordinary"!!!

               Few days back i went to the place in chennai which was my first outing when i relocated from Trichy to Chennai(4 yrs back,2007)--Chennai Citi Centre---A place where my best friend Ravi was workin few yrs back for a company in 5th floor  ,, Remem tht time very well it was the place where i stood marvelin at how nice it was built and how many shops wre there,,,saw a movie there in Inox Multiplex there,,nothin stopped me from amazin everythin there,,the girls coming over there,,me havin fun with our group of frds running around ,pulling each other citing silly jokes --life is fun man i thought --i can enjoy everythin here unlimited for my whole life ---fast forward to 4 yrs ----the same place just seems to me like another building in this world ---perspective changes --a lot ,,,the things we admire initally for beauty dont stay so for long --So what makes indeed life beautiful?if not these then what else?

          Those things tht we ignore for bein too routine and usual  are the ones tht make life very beautiful --we dont find time to "APPRECIATE "  them -Few examples -the mother who does the same routine for 365 days to see us not to feel low -the father who earns to make sure we reach our dreams and after we start to earn --he goes into his shell just admirin what a masterpiece he made with his wife-- for rest of his life  --while we just think whats the next step to stardom ,,Then in most cases there is a  lover who  to quote one of many examples --keeps seein the watch hopin it will stay standstill so tht she could spend some more time with u,the person she likes  -what we do?-we mistake it for her hurry to get the dating done --(rite personal experiences -wink)

          Every guy will definitely have a mentor or a group of ppl who made them realise the direction they r goin is right --those ppl will just be the guys we always have the biggest respect ---and it stops there --we ask what more ??ur best friends who r with u when u r piece of garbage or absolute bit of mess ---once u come out of tht --u say --thats fine  and say ok now i have lot of things lets me run towards them to catch up

        Buddies think for  a minute --in our lives the characters may vary --the names might change --but in most cases the roles they do are similar ---it hardly takes us 5 mins to say "i appreciate what u have done to me -Thanks ",,those ppl--Those ppl who r The most REGULAR ppl in our life --genrally dont come with us to our final destinations--most of them whither away before we cross half of our lives --but they have been sacrificial in their own way to let us reach whatever we have as our stardom!

        My mother was an ordinarily educated lady who did simple things unassumingly for her whole life ,,i never appreciated her when she was with me creating my life for me,whatever i could remember of her now seems great,  her impossible dedication towards the same simple things now seems unbelivable -- she did for 20 yrs of my life ,all i did was make her do more ,,now i say everyday mom i appreciate ur tuf work for me-Seein her picture in my purse!! ---I had a school staff Mr.Rasheed Sir --the most magnificently respected School teacher whom i once made to look at me and say son--in these 6  yrs i have tried --u failed--because "u never tried once to be what u can"--i cursed him,,now i know what he meant --hes no more for me to say "Sorry sir i will try atleast once "

      Mrs.Motha --another wonderful teacher who i let her down with brash brainless ego and money minded boldness ,,never gave her a good thanks givin smile even for her hard work  ,,shes gone now probably,,The first time computer guy said to me then a hopeless guy who never knew to switch on a computer --u have good typin knowledge --one day u will not be bad in usin these,,i said "oh ya we dont pay u to for ur predictions" --hes probably sumwhere in the wide world but i mite never see him in my lifetime to say --ya u were rite ,,thanks --- Remem  how i did not appreciate the goodness of one of my best all time friends effort to wait for me only for me to say   "Whats the point in seein the watch? ,,i came now -u talk now!-i made her wait 6 hrs she just smiled then -even shes gone now !!

      All i have left is my father ---i just make it a point to my dad  tht he doesnt hear his son squealin at him but make him know tht from my mouth when i have opportunities tht "wherever i go from here it all started from u dad"

       I once remember sayin this to the skies when my mom passed away ---"All I have is my choices --let me choose them "--i choose to die then--did not happen ,,,sumhow --9 yrs later now i know i had my good options  i let them go one by one --and feel if and only i could have appreciated those  tireless ppls sacrifices and struggles they mite have stayed to gimme a happier life in a happy atmosphere ,,anyhow i mite seem lost --but i still know out there in the wide world there are still some choices  tht i can make --will make sure tht i dont let them know i forgot to say the word"I appreciate what u r thanks"--for those words uttered to those regular ppl is what makes ur life beautiful despite being one among the countless billions in this world  -u r always unique to them,,realise it before its too late !!!After all buildings never make u happy--- ppl do !!

       To all the people who r just ordinary day in day out in ur life dont forget to tell them u r  "Simply Extraordinary-Thanks "!!

           

A strange experience in a party place!!

                         The other day i had to meet a few ppl whom i  meet or interact in one of the snoozy evenings in weekends ,,the topics shifted from nonsense to silly jokes ,,its when sumone threw up a question --Raj u say everythin is  of god ,,where is god now --u tell me?,,obviously she aint a god follower so wanted to mock the ones who believe in god ---So the topic became serious ,, answer ranged from same philosphies --ranging from god is evrywhere some cliched old dialogues ,,its when a unknown  senior to our group sat among us and joined the discussion

                        So dears ---its heartening to see a sensible question in a party place --he asked all of us --4 were present ---2were boys 2 were girls --he said i will ask every one of u one question --u gimme the answer u have in heart ----first one he asked --son imagine u r in sumtrouble or extreme happiness where u will go --he said im a god believer i will go to temple ---second one said i will go to my girl whom i love for 5 yrs, ---third one said --i will go to my parents as i dont have boyfrd or anyone else i feel like goin first  ,---The fourth one(the one who asked the question) sensin to corner the senior said "see sir i wont go to temple as i live far away from temple ,,i dont speak with my dad ---my mom is not alive --and i dont have a partner --so i just go lock myself in a room and speak to myself no matter what-it was rude i felt  --- in fact she had a strong smile feelin she outwitted everyone --

                  The senior spoke now ,,,see god is a perception in which u have full faith and trust --where u have faith and trust god will be there unknowingly watchin u --u r in temple ,,or u trust ur parents or the partner whom u trust( i interfered and asked him -thts wrong -how can sumone whom u know for 5 yrs be the one u goto ?---he explained tht was difficult one as few yrs could not replace that of temple or parents place,,but gave a apt explanation that pure form of love also God will exist)--and finally to the self appreciated  smart 4 th person--sweeti --u r unique u dont have anyone to believe or trust ,,so u have decided to become strong willed to fight anythin or enjoy anythin first with urself ---so the power of will is ur "god"---without that u cant lock urself in a room and feel strong enuf to be able to express sumthin within urself --

                  I for one clapped hearin the guy--it was not a philosophy --it was not a place for philosophy--it was party place,,,not everyone was normal ---everyone was havin party -drinks was flowin,music was tearin ears ,,but it was rarest of occasions where i felt ---tht was a sensible talk !-A strange experience in a strange place ,,after which i decided im not goin to go there even for fun --i felt i could be better than just be a party goer in a group of headless chickens ---i cant say i will find such persons again in such places,never saw him before there and never i think will see him anywhere--i dont know whether he was damn right --i felt he had sumthin right to prove sumone wrong -period  !!

A Monster called "Ego"

                  This is about my personal experiences and truth about something that has never had a answer at all,,why does people let ego to win their love and real feelings ---me including have been victims to this,,,and i know as long as the world exist it will never go,,i have wondered for the past 10 yrs,,i know sumone who did not see his mother for decades just because of few mistakes she did ,,now shes no more and he realises he made a mistake by refusin to forgive her for yrs ,,now he cant do tht ,,when tht person said tht ,,i also realise tht the number of persons i left stranded like tht ,,after all if u cant forgive the person whom u love or loved ,how can u love anyone truly ---noone is goin to live forever --tht attitude is very hard to cultivate,,,thing the hardest word in tis world is apology ,whether it is said or has to be said there is always a sense of denial ,,im no different ,,but i realised tht was a grave mistake some days back ,,bein sensitive and possesive are not excuses for hatred ,the perception of a human bein leavin his ego and comin to u is al it means abt apology--there is always a denial at first in any case,,,there is one famous sayin which i remem readin in younger days--we r all born alone--its just myth tht we create by makin frds and relationships-but the true meaning of life is never acceptin tht as a myth till our last breath--its one of my favourite lines,,but i have hardly followed ,,ego should never be like a shawdow ,,it should always be like  water for quenchin thirst ,use it when needed to quench thirst---there are sumthings in life which cannot be achieved without ego--like ambitions,like beating odds,,being urself at any cost,,like tht many,,,but once its overused u will know tht we r lonely--accepted no apologies are useful until they r mutual ,but tryin is the beginnin--how it goes is gods wish --i made the first kind of rectification in my whole life of this monster ,,but it did not bring good results ,,but as said,,tryin is the beginnin,,there is no gurantee it can brin joy always ,,but it does bring  peace tht maybe sumwhere life evens out ---until then we mite keep on tryin--because it is always wonderful to write  happy story which has a happ endin with a exclamatory than  a one line tht has a strong fulstop.This is nothin to do woth philosophy,,it sumthin i personally am bad at and tryin to rectify it by whatever means i can ,,mayeb sumday sumone else will know the real meanin of what it is to have sumone than to lose sumone to this controllable monster "ego",,it mite sound rubbish but i bet not one among you who would refuse the problems created by it are countless ,painful and though rectifyable never understandble ,,

                   HERES THE  SECRET  --IF WANNA UNDERSTAND IT -JUST CONTROL IT ,,IT WILL NEVER BE LIKE A SUDDEN LIGHTNIN IN UR LIFE!!!

Noone deserves this cup more than u -Sachin

                At last the cup has come home,,for millions this is sumthin to savour for lifetime ,,from every commoner to millionaire it is just most satisfyin day watchin Indias biggest sport-Cricket winning the world cup ,,and more than anyone one man deserves this -Sachin Tendulkar---i have seen him for all his cricket career ,,i became a fan from the moment he hit Abdul Qadir for 4 sixes in a match,,,But his life was always unique,

                For the best part of his first 10 yrs he was India's flag bearer --the lone fighter ,,a man with limited showoffs ,,but unlimited talent ---he chanelled his ego with grit on field ,,but there was  always a mark of him bein a legend who probably had his best moments realised in his dreams than field due to fate ,,he rarely failed in big tournamnets but was cited for failin of India,,Be it tht Edbagston Hundred,,That Chennai-masterpiece,,

                Two World cups--finishin highest run scorer,left stranded on 194 by his best cricketing great mate-Dravid,,,Humiliation in SA -96,Australia-99,not able to score 120 as a team in WI,Coutless more---any other guy would have quit but not this guy,,he heard they fixed match in Coca Cola Cup98--His response --U can Fix Matches Not Indians--An outrageous single hand 143 followed ,,,everyone else in cricket would have gone through many battles off the field from co sportsman--but here is a guy a true gentleman --a true human bein,,a simple man whose sincerity took him to stardom yet he never changed for 21 yrs ,,the smile of seein this magnificent cricketer whos is enjoyin a golden twilight was some sight to see yesterday,,,sumtimes dreams are realised if u dont give up ---and keep doin what god gave u day in and day out leavin the result to him,,God made him wait 22 years to realise a childhood dream,,,while the whole nation celebrates ,,,i among the millions feel absolutely thrilled and satisfied tht our true icon--our true gentleman--our Flag bearer will now have a smile tht he will never lose till he gets a call frm up--even then i doubt god will see him with the flag he and we all love most --Thanks Sachin-Its been a unforgettable journey and yest was the best !!!!